Away from Atlantis
by dark shadowed rose
Summary: Today was the day, today he would disappear, never come back. His friends would be safe, ignorant and safe. That is if everything goes according to plan. But everything does happened to him, so counting on his plan working might be a bit much. Teen for swearing, and anything else i might mention. But there will be NO sex, and no parings... Except Rodney and Keller.
1. Chapter 1 Antidote

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer **

**I don't own Stargate Atlantis, I wish I owned John but I don't. Sadly If I continue on about what I don't own I'm afraid I might start crying and forget why I'm on fanfiction, so this ends this disclaimer.**

**This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible so Kolya is still alive. Song for this chapter is Antidote by Swedish House Mafia verses Knife Party.**

**Chapter One**

John wandered around the old dark Ancient outpost. Oddly it wasn't responding to his and Rodney's presence. Rodney was trying to find out why, by fiddling with the wall's power crystals, Teyla was looking around, Ronon was already looking distinctly bored, leaning against the wall, he really wasn't good with the peaceful missions.

"Ok! Got it."

Lights came on, John blinked, the rapid change of light had caught him off guard.

He'd been mid step, so he stumbled in to a console that immediately activated, shooting out a beam that grabbed him, he yelped.

Rodney's head whipped around at the cry of surprise,

"Rodney turn it Off!'' Teyla shouted.

"On it."

He tapped at his console, the machine wasn't cooperating, it wouldn't turn off.

John fought the machine, it hurt, he felt like he was being hit with a taser.

"Damn it! Rodney turn it off!" Ronon was trying to reach in to the beam to pull John out, but couldn't touch him.

"Okay." Rodney pulled the power crystal.

John blacked out.

**Rodney**

All the lights shut off, they were in the dark again.

"John wake up, say something buddy. "

Rodney hurried over towards Ronon's voice aiming his flash light at Ronon and John.

John was stretched out on the floor and seemed to be out cold, he wasn't responding to Ronon shaking his shoulders.

"Ronon stop shaking John, He's breathing. You and I will go contact Atlantis and call for Dr. Beckett. Rodney..." Teyla was interrupted.

"Stay here and find out what the machine does, got it." Rodney said not letting her finish.

"Well I was going to say watch John, but if you can find out what it does I'm sure Dr. Beckett would appreciate that."

With that Teyla and Ronon left the outpost.

About twenty minutes later John groaned. Rodney knelt down next to him, "How are you feeling?"

**John**

"Like a truck hit me, What the hell happened?" he stayed where he was, somehow moving didn't sound all that fun.

"Well you, idiot that you are turned on a machine, that I now think is an Ascension Accelerator."

"Really?" Hun. He could get powers, like spiderman. Cool.

"Yes, we will have to get you to the machine back in Atlantis to fix your DNA."

"Why not use this one?" Was it just him, or did Rodney not want him to find out what his powers were.

"Well for one we need a sample of your DNA as it was before, which is in Atlantis, and secondly I broke it when I cut the power."

"You broke it." Ha! Rodney broke it, that was so typical.

"Yes, I shorted the system trying to turn it off, so it stop doing, whatever it was doing to you."

"Oh... Well thanks." Well at least he did it because he was trying to help.

"Your welcome."

John sat up, he couldn't see straight, he failed to repress his moan of, "OOOh! my head."

"You have a headache?"

"Yes, Rodney I have one really bad headache." He was still seeing stars, he should have never sat up.

"Really? That doesn't sound good because I didn't suffer any side affects."

"Rodney did anyone cut the power in the middle of what it did to you?"

"Well no, Zelenka tried but it finished before he could."

"Well thats probably why I have a headache." the more Rodney talked the more his head roared.

"You mean I probably did something awful to your DNA." "Oh no," he moaned, "Your right cutting it off in the middle... who knows what kind of damage it did."

"Rodney shut up! I'm sure if there's anything wrong with me Carson will be able to fix it but you talking is only hurting my head. So please shut up." He sat there cradling his head. It was throbbing like a hangover he hadn't had since the academy.

Ten minutes later Teyla, Ronon, and Carson showed up with two medical assistants.

"Alright, wheres my patient?"

"I'm over here Doc." he didn't look up the flashlights made his eyes burn.

"Good your awake, I was more afraid of you still being out. What are your symptoms?"

"Well I have a god awful headache, and... ouch! And I don't like lights being shone in my eyes," he finished with venom.

"Sorry Colonel, needed to check your pupils, and they are equally reactive."

Rodney spoke up here, "The machine, well... beam that hit him is an Ascension Accelerator, so we need to take him back to Atlantis, to the one there."

"Why did the Ancients have two?" Ronon asked.

"Well, I don't know maybe they didn't tell the others what they were doing. Besides who knows why they did anything." Rodney snapped.

Too much talking, he stayed silent, yelling would not help.

Ronon shrugged, Carson finished his first look at John.

"Well I see no reason not to take you back to Atlantis, besides I'll be able to give you a proper check up."

With that they headed back to the gate, John hadn't been able to leave the dark outpost without some sort of covering, all they had were his sunglasses and they weren't all that helpful because the only place John could look was at the ground.

**Four Hours Later**

Despite John's requests to be allowed to see what his powers would be, Elizabeth ordered him to immediately go the their machine, and enter his DNA so he could be cleared sooner for mission duties, they needed to find something to help with the replicator/wraith threat to the city and the galaxy.

John gave in disappointed, but he could live with it.

Carson ordered him kept off duty for a week as a precaution.

John could live with being ordered to take some R&R.

**Three Days Later**

"John what are you doing here?" Carson asked cheerfully.

"Well as odd as it sounds I'm here because I feel really good." he felt a light silly but better that then well...

"Your not showing signs of powers are you?"

"No, but I do seem to be hearing things," at Carson's very worried look. He finished, "Not hearing things, things. Like I can hear stuff I normally wouldn't hear."

"Like ?"Carson prompted.

"Well I heard Ronon like he was next to me, from across the room." Yeah that had been weird, he'd heard Ronon talking and had turned to ask him something, only to find him way across the room

"Well that has me a little concerned, Rodney could hear like that well he was under the machines affects. But you shouldn't be... hum-mm."

"Carson what does this mean for me?" he wanted him to get to the point.

"Well John I'm gonna to need a scan, some blood, and you'll need to come and see me tomorrow."

"Shouldn't we tell Dr. Weir what's going on?"

"No lets not tell her anything till we know something." Carson said readying a needle for the blood draw.

John was well aware that broke protocol, but he couldn't bring his self to tell her he thought something was wrong, when there was a good chance nothing was.

He shrugged it off.

"See you bright and early tomorrow, Doc"

**Four Hours Later**

"Carson."

"John! Good lord don't sneak up on me like that." "Why are you here? Your test results won't be done for at least another two hours."

"Carson somethings wrong. After you dismissed me, I went had lunch, then me and Ronon went to the gym, and sparred. I did way better then I should have, Carson we weren't holding back."

John couldn't help it, he hesitated, was it all in his head or what.

"There were about... four times when he hit me that I knew I would be coming here for an ace wrap or something, but after we finished, I didn't realize it then, but none of those spots hurt. So I went and had a shower and as I was getting dressed again I checked my back, my wrist, and my shoulder. I don't have a mark on me Carson."

"John, lay down I'm gonna run another scan, I might have something in mind to look for."

Carson ran the scan, he looked at the results.

"John you don't have nanites in your system, your brain activity is normal. I'm just going have to wait on the rest of those tests."

"Doc, you have started a DNA comparison right?"

Carson stared at him. "I'm Bloody Bloomin Idiot!"

Some of the other doctors looked over wondering what could have gotten Carson so worked up.

He lowered his voice, "Thank you for pointing it out, it should have been the first thing I did. Why didn't I think of that..." he walked away muttering to himself.

When Carson came back, he was still muttering, finally he shook his head. "John come back here tomorrow I'll tell you what I found."

John got off the table, Carson really needed to sleep more.

John walked through Atlantis, heading for his room, even if it was only four he figured he should turn in. All the odd things that had happen, had him stressed. He knew even if he didn't sleep he might as well read, he had a new golfer magazine.

**Three Hours Later**

John flipped through his magazine he'd read it cover to cover and it was only five thirty, he sighed. He was just about to get up to put the magazine away, turn out his lights, when there was a knock at his door.

"Yes?"

"John care to join myself and Ronon for dinner?"

"Ahh... Well. Sure."

John left his room, joining Ronon and Rodney.

"So your not too sore after that pounding I gave you, are you?"

"No Ronon, I feel great."

"So you'll be ready to do it again tomorrow?"

"You should have seen that one coming John." Rodney laughed.

Both Ronon and John turned on him "Are you volunteering McKay?" John said with what could only be described as an evil smirk.

"A... A me no I just..."

Ronon laughed.

"So are you up for it?"

"Sure."

"See you after lunch again?"

"Yeah that'll work."

Their chatter continued through dinner, after they finished eating, they talked some more, later then they thought, only after John checked the clock did they realize they had been there four hours. They parted ways, heading for their respective rooms.

John arrived at his room, brushed his teeth, changed in to PJs, and realized his nails were a little too long. He shook his head, getting up to get his nail clippers. After trimming them he turned the lights out, and went to bed.

**11:30 p.m.**

"Carson you've been here all day, I'm sure what ever your doing can wait till morning. You need to sleep more."

"Thanks Marie, I just want to look at this then I'll be off for bed."

Dr. Marie Hseih sighed and left Carson to it.

Carson pulled up John's results, he'd look at them and if they weren't too dire, he sleep like a babe. Well, they looked clear, till he got to the DNA comparison, then his good night's sleep went out the window.

**7:30 Next Morning**

John walked in to the infirmary, he paused in the door looking for Carson. He wasn't there, so headed for some of the other rooms considered the infirmary, he finally found him bent over a microscope, surrounded by notes, and empty coffee cups.

"Carson did you stay up all night?"

" hun?" "Who... Oh! It's morning. Already?" Carson was unusually frazzled, "John right... um... Ok."

"Carson what's wrong?"

"Ah.. John, Elizabeth needs to here for this."

"That bad huh?"

Carson tapped his com,_ "Elizabeth this is Carson could you come to the infirmary?"_

"Sure Carson, be right there, you called me on my way to breakfast."

John sat down, while they waited for Elizabeth. Carson merely went and seemed to be setting up a computer for, whatever he was going to show them. Elizabeth came in, "What did you want me for Carson?"

The scottish man sighed, his shoulders sank.

"John why are you here?" Elizabeth said, she hadn't heard Carson ask for him as well.

"I'm here because I asked Carson to run some tests yesterday, and now he's going to tell us those results," he reclined trying to seem cool, and unconcerned.

"Yes you did, but what I found is... Impossible. But I'm in Atlantis, so maybe it is. You came out fine on most of the tests its was only your DNA comparison that had red flags," Carson ran a hand through his hair.

"Your DNA has changed in an odd way."

"What, the machine didn't fix the changes?" Elizabeth tried to clarify.

"Well thats some of it, But Rodney's was a controlled change, it was base code. Making changes in his brain activity and some small physiologically ones, But yours..."

"Yours have changed they seen to have add ons, little stuff, but their, not the problem now. The problem is I recognize some of the add ons, as ones Teyla has and more."

"What do you mean ones like Teyla's? Like how ?" Elizabeth asked confused.

"I mean like Wraith."

John inhaled sharply. "Do you think I'm gonna change or... what?"

"Well I can see some changes just now. Your paler then is normal for you, you said your self you can hear better, I bet if I test you, you'll be seeing better than 20-20."

"DO you think I'm going to turn into a Wraith or not." John took a deep breath, this was another nightmare come true, the retrovirus had been bad, but... this scarred him.

Elizabeth looked at him sharply for his tone.

"No I think your gonna be something close to a hybrid, I think you have some regeneration, seeing, hearing, speed, you probably be able to sense Wraith. And I think your DNA is going to help my Retrovirus research."

"Well how did this happen? The machine isn't supposed to work like this at all?" Elizabeth murmured.

"Well between Rodney shorting the system, and all the Wraith tissues in John's system it's actually not that surprising. The machine told John's DNA to evolve, and evolve it did."

"Wraith tissues?" He asked, a little lost.

"You've been fed upon by an Iratus bug, and a Wraith, and there's the whole retrovirus thing."

Both Carson and Elizabeth gave him, an are you stupid look.

"So I want both of you here so we can figure out how to handle this." Carson finished.

John sighed "There's not to much to handle, doc. I call security, get locked up in a cell, and you try to fix me."

"John thats what I'm trying to tell you I can't fix this. It's written it's self in to your entire genetic code. It's. To. Late."

"Carson you don't think there is a even slight chance he could become dangerous, do you?"

"No at this point all the changes that are going to take place have."

"So he's not going to need to feed?"

"I don't think so," at the looks he got from both John and Elizabeth, he added. "No."

"Elizabeth I think it would be better if I was put in solitary."

"John, Carson doesn't think your a risk, so I don't want to do that without reason."

"Elizabeth did you not hear Wraith DNA, I don't think I'm safe!" he was trying to control his breathing but it wasn't working, he still wanted to scream or smash something. How many times was he going to have to face being the enemy? It wasn't fair.

"John how much of that is your previous experiences with similar... changes?"

He stopped and considered, Carson was telling him it was going to be different, but he still...

"That may be a lot of it, but if... I have to consider this base's safety and if I'm a hybrid running around other worlds and getting captured who knows what could happen. Think of what could happen if someone like Michael got a hold of me." He began to pace.

Carson interrupted here, "John well I agree, you do probably have powers we are unaware of, and someone like Michael getting a hold of you would be bad. I don't think keeping you out of the field is any better, locking you up, it would lower morale. Many of the people here look up to you, locking you up is not going to be helpful."

"John if it makes you feel better check in with me, and Carson at least twice a day, tell us if you notice any changes, or if you feel odd impulses."

"Elizabeth I don't think I should be allowed free, I need to be watched. Or something. Besides I don't think the IOA or Stargate command will approve me being let off like this," he looked at her from across the room, pausing in his pacing.

"John, Elizabeth, I don't think we should to tell the IOA or SG command, I think John, they'd lock you up, and lose the key, and frankly I want you to stay here to help with my retrovirus and because I want to see all of your abilities. The possible applications, if you no long get sick, we might be able to use this to cure some types of cancer."

"John and Elizabeth there are so many things to learn, and the idea of changing the wraith in to something more like this, faster, silent, none of the drawn out change. Is exciting." Carson said, looking at them seriously.

"Carson are you serious about John likely, never needing to feed?"

"Dead serious."

"Elizabeth you can't seriously be thinking about not telling any one." When she didn't answer him, he heaved a sigh.

"Okay reasons we can't just not tell anyone. One won't it be obvious when I get hurt and heal abnormally fast, Two how I'm going to hide it if I sense wraith, Three I'm already faster so I don't know how to hide that." He paused trying to think of other reasons..."Hiding this is a bad idea," John finished.

"John at the moment if we tell, you'll get locked up for no reason, if we think your a threat we won't hesitate. We will lock you up so fast your head will spin. But as it stands we need you. John, out in the field."

"Elizabeth!" she was crazy hiding this...

"For the moment we're going to keep this to ourselves. And John thats an order."

**Next Day 8:30a.m.**

John sat on the edge of his bed. He had barely slept, he had woken up at two in the morning, because he'd had a nightmare where he'd fed off everyone in the base, none of the people had run, they hadn't seen him as a danger. He couldn't figure out wether he thought he was dangerous enough to disobey orders. He'd had his butt kicked by Ronon at their spar, he'd talked to Teyla and Rodney at breakfast and at lunch yesterday. But he didn't really remember what about.

He rubbed his face, only to scratch him self with his nails. "Ow!" He looked at them, they once again, were too long. He reached for his nail clippers, only to remember trimming them the day before. What the hell... Just great, he was trying to grow claws.

He stared at his hands, and his nails... oh... well, at least they weren't blue.

He got up, he'd show Carson this new development.

"Well this is very interesting, try not trimming them I want to see how long they grow."

John scowled, Carson was just a little too cheerfully.

Well the man had gotten the rest of the day off yesterday.

"I'm glad to hear you caught up on sleep, Carson."

John left scowling, he wasn't hungry, so he wondered, he decided to finish his quarterly reviews.

**6:50 p.m.**

"Carson there you are!"

John ran over relived, "I've been looking for you"

"You wanted to see how long my nails would grow, here you are."

John held out his hands.

Carson and him looked at the two inch long claws, they were clearly sharp, they seemed thicker than normal nails, and they curved down.

"Well they look vicious."

"Carson you've seen them, excuse me well I go cut them."

John left Carson standing in the hall.

After John was gone, Carson laughed to himself, he wouldn't ask him to grow them out again. "I wonder how many times John scratched himself today."

He left for the mess hall snickering.


	2. Chapter 2 Changes

**Away from Atlantis **

**Disclaimer I don't own John Sheppard, Or Stargate Atlantis, or The ark episode. I did pull some of the script from the episode. SO HA! No lawyers coming after me.**

**This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible so Kolya is still alive. Song is Changes by Three Doors Down.**

**Chapter Two**

John felt nervous, it was his first mission since his change. Elizabeth had been firm, aside from his nails there had been no sign of him becoming dangerous, so he was back on duty. So off through the gate they headed.

"Rodney this station is something out of the sixties, we're not going to find anything of value." John commented.

"Oh yeah, we hollowed out a lot of moons in the sixties."

"Fine. If we did it would look something like this." He sighed, _"Look Ronon, Teyla do you guys care to find out more?"_

"_NO!_" Ronon said, loudly in to the ear piece.

"_Maybe some scientists would like to could back and find out why this place was built."_

Teyla said a bit more diplomatically.

"Look I just have to see what's inside, I'm the same way about presents, and pinatas. Just one more compartment thats it." Rodney wasn't even listening, for an answer, he was already opening the door.

"Fine, this is the last one." John sighed, Rodney was such a kid sometimes.

**Two Hours Later**

I knew I should have turned around and left when I had a chance. If I had said no, then Rodney wouldn't have unleashed a suicidal guy on us, who damaged his own ship, lost the puddle jumper, and almost killed us. But it could be their all crazy, Jamus is holding Teyla hostage so we'll save his people.

Stupid man, killing us doesn't fix his problems.

"Colonel! Colonel!"

"You can stop Colonel, I'm opening the door." Jamus called through the door.

"Of course, now he lets us in, when I'm almost through the door."

Lorne laughed a little.

"I want the gun on the floor. Then you standing back hands raised." he called through the door hoping Jamus would listen.

John stood back, drawing his sidearm. Lorne already had his aimed at the door, John motioned that he would open the door, and that Lorne should be ready.

They came in just in time to see the calling beam finish, and shut off.

Damn! that stupid man. It made sense in a twisted way, the only way to convince him to fly the ship would be to put Teyla in it.

"Rodney are you able to get her out of there or not?"

" I didn't build this thing I have no idea how to determine who's who in there."

"Are you sure you don't know how?"

"No. Short of beaming people out at random."

"Rodney there's a thousand people in there."

"I am well aware of that."

"Can you rig a compatible power source to the jumper?"

"No, I'd need at least an hour or two."

Lorne came in "Sir we need to leave."

"I know Major, give us a minute."

"Sir there is no time for that. As soon as this rock hits the atmosphere, we'll be stuck and when it breaks up we'll die. WE have to go now."

"All right can you disconnect this thing?"

"Yeah but it won't matter because we don't have compatible power and I won't be able to rig something for the jumper."

"I wasn't talking about the jumper." He watched Rodney's dawning comprehension.

John hated this idea, because it was a very bad idea, but he was pretty sure at this point the only way to save Teyla would be to fly the shuttle.

All he had to think was, I can do this, and if not this is going to be a very short trip.

Rodney stared, "What?"

"I always wanted to fly a space shuttle. Nows my chance."

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no."

"Get this thing disconnected, and get it to the shuttle, while I go get suited up. "

"Look I know how much you love to think you can fly anything, but that thing is how old, it has no fuel. John if you try to do this your gonna die. There's ..."

John thought it was funny, Rodney saying all of this was just reconfirming his choice. Rodney was just his little voice of doubt.

"Rodney shut up! Go get it disconnected and move it to the shuttle, thats an Order!"

**Fifteen Minutes Later**

John ignored everyone questioning his sanity, he had to finish suiting up.

They'd almost got the stupid thing to the shuttle.

Carson was helping him suit up, but was insisting on making sure John knew, Carson thought he was crazy.

"There it should be easy enough once your on the ship to hook it to the power source."

John looked up, as Rodney briefed him what he'd need to do to hook it up.

He headed over, to push it on to the ship. "Can I say something else?" Rodney asked.

He waited.

"Don't do this it's impossible."

John thought for a moment, could he live with walking away?

No.

"Willing to bet a weeks wages on that?"

"How are you going to pay up if I win, huh?" Rodney asked negatively.

"Thanks for caring."

"Yeah."

"All right, radio Atlantis as soon as your clear. Stay a safe distance in the jumper I'll try to stay in radio contact."

He went to head for the ship, when Ronon stepped in his way.

"Hey, remember you still own me a fight to the death."

John couldn't quite help his wince, "Yeah, I look forward to that."

He sealed his helmet, and slapped Ronon's arm on the way passed. Ronon hissed, it was the arm that had recently been dislocated, it was petty but he felt a little better. He pushed the machine the rest of the way on to the shuttle.

He got the machine in place, and succeeded in locking the power conduits on it. Then he reported to the others .

_ "All right, I've got the device locked in place."_

_ "Looks like internal power switched on automatically."_

He headed over to close the rear hatch, _"Closing rear hatch now."_

_ "See you guys in the ground."_

"_Will do, sir."_ Lorne said, "_And_ _good luck."_

John headed up the stairs, for the controls. He would need to have buttons to push, and controls to use if he was going to land it.

"_We're clear sir."_ came from over the radio.

McKay's voice came in over the radio. _"The moon's decelerating in the upper atmosphere, you've only got a minute to figure out the controls."_

_ "Well, it seems pretty straightforward."_

"_We're gonna lose radio contact a you pass through the atmosphere."_

_ "I know, Rodney."_

"_I'm saying if you have anything you'd like to say, say it now."_

John was busy running a ship check, so he said what ever came to mind.

_ "No, nothing to say, 'cause I'm going to see you in five minutes." _

The ship started to bounce,_"Getting some chop."_

"_Now probably would be a good time to disengage." _Mckay said.

John was getting a rough ride now, but he was pretty sure he was ready. He turned so he was looking at the right screen.

_ "Initiating separation maneuver in three, two, one, mark!"_

Alarms started to beep, Shit! Nothing could ever just work, could they.

_ "Separation is negative. Switching to back up."_

_ "Disengage. Come on!"_

At this point he was ready to baby the shuttle, if it would just work! He wished he had better controls.

Alarms were still beeping, Stupid annoying things, telling him what he already knew.

"Damn IT!"

_ "The bolts will not work, I repeat the explosive bolts will not fire."_

_ "Unable to separate ship. I don't know if you can hear me, but it looks like I might have to ride this one down."_

Now if only the stupid alarm would stop telling him what he already knew. He was bouncing around, it was starting to hurt as he slammed in the harness.

He could see out the window, parts of the hollowed out moon collapsed under the strain.

Then something fell on the shuttle, triggering one of the bolts, which split the already falling apart moon, the shuttle slipped out. Then the moon, just behind him blew.

The momentum threw him forward, his helmet slammed him in to the console, he sat up the alarms were still blaring, and now he was flying the brick.

God! At this angle he was going to crash nose first. "Pull up. slow down! stupid thing!"

He hit the ground, and began a sliding bounce.

Well it had stopped moving, and he was still mostly in one piece.

"Ugh..." he sat up. His first two breaths hurt but that slowly began to fade. He'd never admit it but at a time like this his new regeneration would come in handy.

_ "That's one weeks pay you owe me Rodney." _

"_Technically I didn't take that bet." _

"_Sir we'll bring the ship right up next to you."_ Lorne said, relief clear in his voice.

_ "Don't rush Major I'm fine. I'm just fine." _

John walked in to the infirmary, only to see Teyla in bed in scrubs. Carson and Elizabeth there talking to Teyla.

"So, I have the hard landing, but she gets the bed rest." He said with a small smirk.

Teyla frowned a little. "Well I tried to tell Carson I was perfectly fine, but he insisted."

"A number of people reintegrated from the storage device suffered from small amounts memory lost. He touched Teyla's hand, I just want to make sure you're all there."

John looked Teyla over, and added, "Well she does look a little thin."

She gave him a look, he smiled.

Carson added "Just until morning."

Teyla nodded graciously, "Thank you."

Elizabeth turned on John. "I assume you've come to the infirmary in order to have your head examined."

"Hey! I pulled it off, didn't I?"

"Yes you did," Teyla said touching his shoulder.

Elizabeth sensed it was time to leave, "I'm going to head back to Stargate operations." She was out the door before adding. "Major Lorne is about to drop off supplies to Jamus' people."

John wondered, so he turned around and asked. "Hey, what are you going to do with him anyway?"

"His injuries were such he didn't survive reintegration," Elizabeth said before leaving.

John turned back to Teyla, "Well it doesn't break my heart."

Teyla stared at the floor, "He only did what you or I would have done."

"Are you kidding, Teyla? He held you hostage, and almost got both of us killed."

"He tried to save his people, and he succeeded through you." Teyla said firmly.

John shifted a little uncomfortably, "Thats not why I did it."

She smiled at him, and said softly, "I know."

"Don't go feeling special now."

She laughed a little, dropping her head. Smile on her face.

"I'd have done it for any one of you."

"Of course."

John really didn't like that smile of hers, it was entirely too knowing.

"Except for maybe McKay," he said turning to leave. If she was going to laugh at him, he didn't have to stay here.

"Yes I think even for Rodney." she called after him.

"Maybe."

(**Three Weeks Later**)

They were going to explore a new planet, the MALP had told them, that it was a forested planet, and they would be coming out in ruins.

But that was about all they knew about it. It was one of those planets the ancients had fail to note anything on or about the planet, so Zelenka sent them to it.

Rodney as usual was wondering why they had to do it, why couldn't some other team do it, that he was a very busy man and had better things to.

John felt annoyed, and did something about it. "Rodney we go, we look around, see if we find people, and then we come home. Everyone goes off world at some point, so drop it."

John immediately felt bad, just because he had a bad feeling about this trip, didn't mean he had to take it out on them. He turned, and walked through the gate. He'd only put his foot in his mouth if he tried to say sorry now.

**Behind Him**

The other three stared, at John's back as he headed through the gate, then shared a look. "Maybe John has a headache?" Teyla suggested. Ronon shrugged.

They went through the gate.

The moment John had reached the other side, he'd been overwhelmed by the noise. He knew he'd stepped, or stumbled away from the gate, But he couldn't see, couldn't focus. He could hear people, but it wasn't like talking out loud, more like in his head.

He felt cold, and the noise, such awful thoughts. He could feel himself, but he could sort of see his self, it was a foggy image coming from behind the trees. He could block out some of the noise, but it was hard. His grip on his gun was starting to loosen from the death grip he had on it. When he fired a shot from behind the trees, and simultaneously saw it coming for him. He couldn't move fast enough, so he felt it hit and part of him shut down. He no longer felt his body, he could only watch.

He saw Ronon, Teyla, and Rodney come through the gate, in time to watch his body fall, he targeted Rodney and fired. Hitting him with the stunner, tasting the glee, his body felt at the sight, he was becoming more focused. Why was he happy? These were his people going down.

Ronon dodged the shot coming for him, and immediately took cover. Teyla did so as well, both began to shoot, killing the Wraith. John was proud, and felt his Wraith's anger. It was very strange being of two minds.

He looked over the battle field, it seemed very odd to see his body stretched out on the ground like that, and Rodney crumpled by the gate.

Teyla apparently had talked to Ronon over the radio, because she darted, for the DHD, and he laded down a cover fire. She began dialing, and it locked. He could hear her shouting over the radio: _"Coming in hot! Sheppard's down, Rodney's out. We'll make a run for it."_

Teyla threw herself out of cover, snagged Rodney's arm, and dragged him toward the gate.

John could feel his Wraith body snarl. He took careful aim, John tried to feel for something to interfere with, but he was groping in fog. It was too late anyway. He fired hitting Teyla. She fell through pulling Rodney with her, He snarled, and stepped from cover trying to get a better shot off at Ronon.

Ronon was pinned, trying to reach his body, that was nicely out in the open. John kept thinking Ronon should just run for it. His body was too exposed, there was no way Ronon could reach it with out getting shot, and even if he could take two hits, it was insane.

His Wraith body was approaching, Ronon was crazy, he could still make it through the gate. He gestured to the rest of the Wraith to circle Ronon. There was a lull in the shots. Ronon behind the rock, and the Wraith coming for him. Ronon started shooting and caught the Wraith off guard. He went down pain arcing through him.

John was cheering Ronon on till he saw Ronon wasn't heading for the gate, he was ducking down under the DHD. Heading for John's body, Turn around Ronon and get your ass through the gate! Damn, that stupid Satedan.

John's Wraith body was getting up, and he had a good shot at Ronon. He saw Ronon make the last dash for him, Ronon dodged all the shots coming for him, he got a hold of his body. And John could see he'd just screwed Ronon, his body was slowing him down.

'Leave me, Leave me! DAMN IT!' Ronon was half way back to the gate when a shot hit him he staggered almost dropping John's body. Ronon had just lost most of his momentum, he wasn't gonna make it. Ronon kept going, he was four steps from the gate, when a second shot hit him. John had seen, his own body take two more hits, and knew he wouldn't wake for quite some time. Against the odds, Ronon stepped up to the gate, before a third shot hit him. He fell through taking John's body with him. John felt the Wraith scream with frustration before the gate shut down, severing the connection, he was jerked into blackness.

**Three and Half Hours Later**

John woke with a spurge of adrenaline, he sat bolt up right. Only to have his head spin with dizziness. "Ooh!" he held his head.

Carson hurried over, "Slow down, you were stunned more then once, according to Ronon."

"Yeah I know," his head was clearing. "Ok, is he awake?"

"Yes, he's over by Dr. Weir."

John looked over, "Yeah. Well, Carson you were right. I can do more then heal fast, I now sense Wraith better than Teyla." He said keeping his voice low.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I went through first, so I was immediately aware of our company, but I was confused, you see, I had linked with the Wraith collective. As such I didn't move fast enough to dodge. But I got a first row seat to watch what happened after I went down."

"That is very interesting, but from the stories, and in our experiences linking with them is bad and can be hard, and with a long term link it can drive humans mad." said the scottish man concerned.

John shook his head "Carson, I was in complete control the whole time."

"Of the Wraith?"

"No of myself, I just saw through his eyes... well I suppose the first minute on the planet I was a little overwhelmed. But I think if I am around enough Wraith, in time it won't bother me."

Carson nodded. "Ok. I'll take your word on that."

Elizabeth and Ronon came over. "Good to see you awake John." Elizabeth said with a smile.

John looked at Ronon, as much as he wanted to be annoyed with Ronon, he knew he would have done the same, probably not as successfully but he would have tried, the silence was getting heavy.

The moment was ruined by Rodney waking up. "Whast gonn on?" He slurred. Then he remembered "Oh I was stunned... Well heres not where I expected to wake up."

He looked around, "Hmm... I don't mind." he smiled.

Carson laughed, "Aye I suppose it would be a nice surprise."

"I am glad to see we all made it through just fine." Teyla said said from the third bed over.

John smiled as Ronon teased them about being so slow to wake up even though they only got hit with one stunner blast.

He was glad it went so well, even if Ronon had risked himself to save him and at terrible odds too, but it had all worked out. So he wouldn't harass Ronon about it now, maybe later, but not now.


	3. Chapter 3 Breaking The Habit

**Away From Atlantis**

**Disclaimer I don't own Stargate Atlantis, or any of the characters you know of yet, and I don't own the episode Sunday, I have pulled parts of the script so if you recognize parts there is a reason, because it is probably from the episode. Disclaimer over.**

**This story starts after The Game, and ignorers Irresponsible, so Kolya is still alive.**

**Chapter Three ****Song is Breaking the Habit Linkin Park**

**It's two weeks after our last chapter, so John's been part wraith for six weeks, that he's known about.**

**Sunday**

**9:00 John**

First thing every morning before he was even out of bed, he asked himself "What do I have to do today." So that morning when he realized it was Sunday, and all he had to do today was have some fun, he couldn't hold back his grin. He'd looked forward to the day he made Ronon and Teyla play some Golf with him, and that day was today.

**10:00**

It was after breakfast, and he was heading back to his room to get his golf clubs, when he found Ronon.

"Come on Ronon, let me get my clubs and then we can find Teyla."

"She's not with you?"

"Nah I slept in, so let me get my clubs and we can hunt her down."

John turned to continue on to his room, he knew Ronon and Teyla were not that enthused about learning golf, so when he didn't hear Ronon following him right away.

He called over his shoulder, "Come on, it will be fun."

He heard Ronon's sigh, and rolled his eyes.

They reached his room, John grabbed his clubs, and handed them to Ronon.

They began to search for Teyla.

**Half an Hour Later**

John caught sight of her, and called. " Oh, hey there you are!"

He ran over to her. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Oh?"

"What, you forgot?"

"I... no!"

"You forgot." he said a little disappointed.

"No, you were going to teach Ronon and myself how to play Golf."

He grinned at her "Thats the plan."

She look at him apologetically, "I'm afraid I have made other plans."

"What other plans?"

"I am having lunch with Elizabeth later today."

"Well you still got time."

He watched, as she tried to come up with some other reason not to play with him, and smirked.

"Yes, true."

"However, I'm afraid I have been quite delinquent in filing my mission reports."

He knew quite well she may be a little behind but no where near what she was implying, he sighed a little, but decided to let her off the hook. He listened to her finish.

"I had hoped to be caught up before I met with Elizabeth."

"Okay." he said making sure to let his disappointment show lest they realize he did this for his own amusement.

She tried to go on like she wasn't relived. "If you'd like I could cancel..."

"No. no. no. no." he waved her off. "You go file your mission reports, and besides Elizabeth could use a little time out of the office."

"Some other time." he said.

Teyla smiled, glad she'd put if off another month. "Some other time."

She bowed lightly and shot Ronon a smirk. Ronon scowled mockingly.

She left.

Ronon turned to him. "You know I have some mission reports to turn in..."

John cut him off. "Nice try. It's gonna be fun."

"Fun?"

**On a Pier**

They headed for the small open room, that John and a couple of others had some green set up.

John set his clubs down, and got set up for his first shot. As he set up, he talked a little with Jim one of the other guys who plays.

John readied his self and swung.

His first shot went close to half a mile out.

Jim noticed and complemented him on.

"Thank you, Jim."

"So thats it, you just hit a little ball as hard as you can?"

John sighed, "No it's a little more complicated then that, First you have to get it through a series of sand and water hazards, then when it's on the green you putt it in to the hole."

"So you just hit as hard as you can?"

"Basically, Yeah."

Ronon stared out over the water, well Jim cleaned his stuff up.

"I take it that this is a water hazard?"

"Well, Atlantis isn't really made for golf, so we just have a driving range."

"That's it." Ronon said looking bored.

"I may make it seem simple, it can be very hard, I've been playing since I was six."

"A-hun."

"Getting as good as I am, takes time. I mean I have a sweet swing now, but I was awful at six. It's taken me years..."

Ronon put a ball on his and swung as hard a he could one handed.

They couldn't see where it landed.

"Whoa... Jim was astonished.

"Like that?" Ronon asked just a little smug.

"That was okay." John couldn't quite had his wince, he had a sinking feeling if he played with Ronon for to long he'd end up hating Golf.

"Okay! Jim said, we can't even see where it landed."

"Well it's not a distance game it's an accuracy one."

"Pick a spot," Ronon said, "and I'll hit it there."

"First off your grip. It's all wrong." John said pointing at Ronon's loose 'swing it around like a weapon', grip.

Carson came up from behind, "Oh, yes, of course there you are."

Jim went over to Carson, "Hey Doc I was just coming to see you. I've been having this weird pain right..." he held his hand over his right lung.

Carson interrupted him. " Hold on. Stop right there, this is the first day off I've had in over a month."

John felt a little twinge of guilt for his not so small part in that.

"Dr. Cole is in the infirmary and will be glad to help you out."

Jim smiled a little. "Okay fair enough."

Carson patted his arm. "Right."

Jim head off to places unknown.

John practiced his swing and asked. "What's up Carson?"

He put his hands on his hips and in and enthusiastic voice said. "Fishing."

Ronon turned to him, and said, "What?"

Carson elaborated. "Rodney and I are headed to the mainland to catch a fish that seems a bit like a trout. Care to join us? Sport of kings."

John took his next swing, "I thought horse racing was the sport of kings."

"For the boring kings maybe."

"Carson, your scottish. This is your sport, your game."

Carson shook his head, "Golf was never my thing." "Come on last chance."

Ronon and John exchanged skeptical looks.

John spoke for both of them, "I think we'll pass."

"All, right. But don't be jealous,when we come back with a record breaking space trout."

He snapped his fingers "Thank you."

John grinned at the man, "We'll try to contain our selfs."

"Oh, aye."

Then the scottish man turned around and left.

Ronon took another swing, and it also flew ridiculously far.

John also took another swing, and was setting his self up for another, when Ronon threw down the club he was using and said. "Come on, time to play a real game."

John couldn't resist, well Ronon walked over and grabbed his clubs, John tried a one handed swing. It went over the side and he heard it slash.

He groaned, then he muttered to his self. "Should known better then to try to best Ronon

at a physical sport." He followed Ronon.

**(11:05 a.m.)**

John stood in the gym, and if he understood this right, Ronon was going to make him play a violent version of capture the flag, with swords.

This was going to hurt.

"Grab the other guys flag, hun? That's it?"

"That's it." Ronon said not trying to hide his smirk, tucking his flag in to is pants, with the end hanging out.

John copied his placing of the flag.

"No penalties ad stuff?"

"What?" Ronon asked a little taken back.

"If the other guys pulls your or tries to bite you."

"Bite back."

"Right." John nodded, his sinking feeling was there for a reason.

"You ready?"

"Ready as i'll ever be."

John blocked the first two hits, but Ronon shoved him forward grabbing his flag. John caught himself, but he'd still lost his flag. Ronon grinned holding his flag, "That's one for me."

John sighed. He came back over, and snagged his flag from Ronon, "Two out of three."

"Round two, one handed."

"What?"

"Round two, one handed."

Yeah I heard you, but what?"

"After each round the level of difficulty is increased, to simulate injury in battle."

"Round two, one handed."

"Why don't you let me get better at round one first before we move on to the harder part?"

Ronon smirked, his hand behind his back.

"Fine."

John put his hand behind his back.

John held out till Ronon kneed him in the stomach. He lost again.

"That's two for me."

"Three out of five." John groaned.

"You know I can do this all day. I haven't even broke sweat yet."

John really didn't like Ronon's smug smirk, he straightened.

John took back his flag and wooden sword, "Yeah, Yeah, yeah."

"Round three."

Ronon put his hand behind his back, and lifted one leg, tucking his foot behind his other knee.

"Oh come on. Oh you are so making this stuff up! This is not a traditional Satedan sport. This is an excuse to make me look dumb and to kick my ass."

Ronon smirked, and shrugged. "If you want to quit..."

John sighed. And put his arm behind his back, and hooked his foot behind his knee.

Twenty seconds later Ronon elbowed him in the face, and he landed hard on his back.

"I'm sorry."

John just stayed on his back, his head spinning. "This game sucks."

Ronon couldn't hide his amusement, "Well, you need to focus."

"I don't know if that's going to be possible again."

He lifted his head again, sighing. "Here, help me get up. I got an idea."

Ronon helped him to his feet. Then he slapped Ronon's arm. "Ouch!"

"Hurts doesn't it." he said feeling a little better.

**(1:00 p.m.)**

They'd had lunch, grabbed some munchies, and back in his room. Drinking beer, eating pretzels and popcorn. Listening to his music on his computer, and talking.

Ronon slammed the beer can in to his forehead. "Like that?" he put the crumple beer can down.

John nodded, "Yeah, you got to hit it straight on, as hard as you can." He echoed his words with a gesturer. John smirked, he hadn't done that since he was twenty or something.

Ronon nodded, "Okay."

"You know this is what I'm talking about. This is how you spend your day off, kick back, eating junk, listen to some tunes." He popped the piece of popcorn in his mouth.

"You like this music?" Ronon asked eating some more.

"What you don't?" John asked, reaching for the ice pack they had gotten him, he didn't need it any more, his face had long since healed, but Ronon didn't know that.

"It's fine."

John nodded and reach for some more pretzels. "I'm going to stick with golf. Your game is a little too much like my day job."

Ronon snickered in to his beer.

"So how long you been here now? A year?"

"A year and a half."

Ronon picked up one of his comic books.

John looked up, had it really been that long? "A year and a half." He echoed. He reached, and grabbed some more popcorn, before asking. "Do you ever hang out with anyone besides me and Teyla?"

Ronon shook his head a little.

"I"m not trying to say we're sick of you or anything. I'm just... I don't know, are you dating anyone?"

"You mean like a women?"

John shrugged, "Or men."

Ronon stared at him. Then shook his head, and added, "No."

"I'm not ready yet."

John looked over at his friend, who was eating. But his posture said he was a little upset.

John asked. "Not ready yet?"

"Did you leave someone behind on Sateda?"

Ronon nodded seriously.

"Wife?"

Ronon broke eye contact and grabbed some more pretzels, "Close enough." He looked up briefly, and looked away. Grabbing his beer to take a sip.

John weighed what that meant, his friend didn't move on, or leave his friends behind, so a wife. Ouch.

"Sorry."

John reached for some more to eat. Ronon changed the subject, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"When are you getting married?"

John couldn't hide his laughter. "Already been there, I'm not very good at it."

"Besides, there really isn't anyone here that... Yeah, well, you know..."

Ronon looked a little confused, then laughed, "See I always thought you and Teyla would, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah why not?"

John considered the question, Teyla, friend, kinda pretty, tough... and just not his type. He knew he was fond of her, and cared but he always though more sister, friend type thoughts around her.

"I.." he shrugged a little. "I don't..."

BOOM!

Their conversation was interrupted with an explosion and the tower rocked.

The alarms started blaring. They ran for the transporter, it wasn't working, they took the stairs.

**Ten Minutes Later**

John followed the smell of smoke, and passed two medical assistants carting out a guy on a stretcher.

Ronon asked Carson what was going on.

"Some sort of explosion. There's at least three dead, maybe a dozen or so severely injured."

"DOC!"

Carson turned, shining his light that way. They then saw Teyla on a stretcher, piece of metal sticking out of her side, blood had soaked the gauze around it.

They hurried over, "Oh, Lord, Teyla." Carson began to take her pulse, and ask questions.

"Is she going to be okay, Doc?" John asked unable to restrain his worry.

Carson just looked at him, and issued orders.

"Carson is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know she's lost a lot of blood." Carson followed, the assistants carrying her.

John saw Radek, and headed over. Ronon stayed to talk to someone.

"What the Hell happened here Radek?"

"There was an explosion."

"I get that, but why?"

"Well I'm not sure yet. I wasn't allowed on the scene till the emergency crews cleared the floor."

"What took you so long?"

"The transporters are down, there are a lot of stairs. Where's McKay?"

"McKay is in his lab. He thinks he might have a lead."

"What kind of lead?"

"He didn't say."

Radek continued, "The good news is the structure is intact, so there's no danger of the tower falling down."

"There is, however, something very odd."

"What?" Ronon asked having come back over

"Well, the few eyewitness reports we have, say that Dr. Hewston just blew up."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It's not even possible."

"Yeah, normally, I would agree with you Ronon, but from what we can tell, she was standing in right in the middle of the hall, here and just exploded."

"So, what, a suicide bomb." John ask not quite believing the cheerful doctor would do that.

"Well, see, no, thats what I thought, too, originally, but I scanned the area, and there's no trace of explosive residue."

"We have no idea what we're dealing with here."

John head over to see what Rodney had come up with. Standing there waiting for Rodney to tell him what he had found out, was not how John wanted to spend the rest of his day. Finally, Rodney got on with it.

"All right I'm digesting this as I go, so forgive the rough edges."

"What have you got?" John said just a little impatient.

"Now, last night, Dr. Hewston, and her partner, Dr. Watson were cataloging a new Ancient lab we uncovered."

"They inadvertently activated this machine, here." he said, pointing to a screen.

"Now it started to emit a very odd type of radiation, but they were able to turn it off right away."

"Now, Dr. Beckett examined them and gave them a clean bill of heath, and so with no immediate apparent danger, we decided to figure out what the machine did... basically when ever we had time."

"That was a mistake."

"What is it?" John asked, now wondering how this related to Dr. Hewston blowing up.

"Well, the science of it is, well, spectacularly complicated, but it appears to be a weapon, one created by the Ancients to battle the wraith and one that was abandoned, because it didn't just effect Wraith, but Human and Ancient as well."

Zelenka was very interested now, "Affected them how?"

"Well, long story short it creates explosive tumors."

Ronon standing there, arms crossed, raised an eyebrow, "Explosive tumors?"

Zelenka was disbelieving, "What?"

"You've got to be kidding me." Ronon said.

"Yeah, I wish." Rodney said, putting his hand up to stop them. "Look, it's actually quite ingenious."

"Look, the device emits millions of irradiated particles that have been genetically programed to enter into our systems and gather behind the lungs."

Now, as they go, they collect trace elements from our body that they need to complete an explosive compound, which, once in place, the tumor reaches a critical mass and explodes."

"So, wait, this guy Watson..." John asked not sure.

"Yes, John he has almost definitely been exposed, yes."

"Look, we need to find him before the tumor ignites, which could be any minute now.

"McKay make a call for him on the P.A." John said thinking how could they tell the guy he's a bomb.

Rodney tapped his radio, _"Chuck you need to put me on city wide." "oh aha."_

"_Dr. Watson. Dr. James Watson, report your whereabouts immediately."_

They waited to hear where he was, when Rodney straightened. _"He's in the OR right now?"_

"_Okay, I need you to get Beckett back on his radio, right now!"_

John listened well McKay talked.

"_Carson, the man you are working on right now has bee infected with an explosive tumor. We think it's what killed Hewston and caused the explosion."_

Apparently Carson thought that was a silly explanation, and didn't believe Rodney.

"_It is possible CARSON!" _Rodney almost shouted.

"_Look you need to get you and your team out of there. Sheppard has an ordnance-disposal team on the way."_

John had ordered one to be on stand by for directions. He ordered them there, to the OR now.

"_He doesn't have to move. You do!"_

John hated one sided conversations, they were such a pain.

The alarm began blaring, John looked at a computer to see what Carson had done. Carson had locked down the whole floor, but stayed along with Dr. Marie.

As soon as John realized Carson was still there and told everyone, Rodney started to talk to him over the com.

John tuned out Rodney, as he tried to talk Carson in to leaving. John knew Carson wasn't like that.

The waiting was the worst of it, after an eternity Carson announced, he was done, the tumor was out, he was unlocking the floor. John sent his Marine in. Carson wanted the tumor out of his sight, so he took the tumor to the Marine. He started to say he'd made the pass off, when his radio died, with a burst of static, as the second explosion shook the tower. John knew then and there, Carson was dead.

**(Two Days Later)**

John watched the funeral through glazed eyes, he saw in flashes. Teyla standing there despite her injuries, Elizabeth with tears in her eyes, Rodney's guilt and sadness written across his face.

Rodney, and him leading the way through the Stargate to Earth, carrying Carson's body.

John in his room at Stargate Command. Sitting on the bed, only then did it hit him.

Alone in his room, after the funeral on earth, did he shed his tears.

**wow that was hard... like I said I did pull parts from the episode so yeah.**

**Hope I pulled some tears from you there, I don't do mushy or sad well. And i love reviews not giving me any or many makes me sad.**


	4. Chapter 4 Pale

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer Not mine, I don't own Stargate Atlantis that is MGM's. Not mine! Keep in mind I did use some of the following episode for this chapter so some of the phrasing might be from the episode. **

**The episode is Submersion.**

**This story starts up after The Game, and ignores Irresponsible, so Kolya is alive. **

**Chapter Four ****Song is Pale by Within Temptation.**

**Eight weeks after his change**

John flew the puddle jumper through the water, ignoring the conversation going on behind him as much as possible. He knew Rodney could be clueless but this was just bad.

He'd already threaten to pull over, when the other scientists were giving Rodney a hard time. He was annoyed, but they were just being silly. Then when Rodney didn't recognize the guy who'd worked there with him for close to eight months. Ouch. Sucked to be Dr. Graydon. Ronon was losing his temper, so John was glad when he finally found the drilling platform.

"Shut up, we're here." There were sighs of relief, and John was glad this part of it was over.

**(An Hour Later)**

As they explored the station, Teyla seem to get a little antsy.

Finally she said something, "Have we not been down this corridor before?"

Ronon answered. "Every Corridor looks the same."

"Don't worry you guys," he said, "I have an uncanny sense of direction." It was true and it had seemed to get better after his change.

"I think she's right. We have been down this way before."

"Thats impossible we took two lefts then a right." John said, but something seemed a little off, his head felt fuzzy. Not like drunk, or hurt, or even confused, just like something should be there. His friends saying that they were lost, was distracting him. He couldn't focus to figure it out.

"Hey look all I'm saying is..."

Suddenly, Teyla gasped.

"What?" Ronon asked, turning to her.

"I am sensing a Wraith presence nearby."

John reached out, and got nothing, he felt cold, but there was no mind to link to, just fuzzy blackness.

"Are you sure? We're pretty deep under water." he said, he was inclined the listen to her but he still felt nothing.

"I cannot be certain, but I believe it is on the drilling platform."

She said all of this, well looking around her like she was trying to get a better read on it.

He once again reached out, trying but getting fuzzy blackness once again.

He decided to err on the side of caution, and tapped his radio. _"This is Sheppard. Everyone drop what your doing. Get back to the control room immediately."_

**Back in the Control Room**

Rodney was lecturing on about how it wasn't possible, "We did a complete life sighs scan. It was the first thing we did when we got on board."

"Look, I promise you there is nobody here but us."

"I know, Rodney, but I am sensing it closer now." Teyla looked awkward and uncomfortable.

Even in her insistence, John still felt nothing, and had told Weir as much with a small shake of his head.

"Well maybe it's the pressure. It's been known to do things to the mind at this depth."

Rodney was reasonable in his doubt.

John stepped in, his feeling that something was wrong, had not gone away. "Just humor me and check," he ordered.

Rodney did, with a sigh. "There. All of these life sighs have been accounted for."

"Humored?" he asked smugly.

"Yes, thank you, Rodney." he said annoyed.

Then Elizabeth put her two bits in. "Wraith don't show up on life sighs detectors if their hibernating."

"I know what I'm am sensing." Teyla said quietly.

"There is no Wraith aboard. I'm telling you!" Rodney cried frustrated.

"Has your sense ever been wrong?" Ronon asked.

"Never." She said positively. "And I cannot shake this feeling."

Ronon was simple in his, "I trust her."

John wanted to say the same thing, but if she was right, why wasn't he sensing it?

"As opposed to irrefutable fact?" Rodney said still frustrated.

"Your machines don't know everything." Ronon said.

John had to agree with him there, Rodney's machines had been wrong before.

"I never said they did."

Teyla interrupted here, before Ronon got too mad. "There is a way for me to be sure."

"If I can reach out with my mind, and establish a link..."

"Whoa. That's a little reckless, don't you think?" If there really was a Wraith out there... Linking minds had been hard and dangerous before. But... She was right they would know for sure.

"If there is no Wraith, then there will be no mind to link with, and no risk. But if there is a Wraith nearby..."

"We need to know." Elizabeth agreed.

John couldn't really argue with that.

They found the crew's rooms, with bunks and everything. Teyla made herself comfortable.

"I'm ready."

"You sure?" John asked, that one time in a Wraith mind had been enough for him to never do that again... for her to volunteer. Ugh.

"The briefest contact will determine whether or not I'm right."

"Thats all we need, don't stay any longer." she nodded, almost a little relived. So he had been right, she wasn't eager to link with a Wraith mind.

Elizabeth spoke, encouraging Teyla, "First sigh of trouble, we'll pull you out."

Okay, not encouraging her.

Teyla took a deep breath, and relaxed.

It occurred to him to ask, "Ronon you have set the..."

"It's already set to stun."

They realized Teyla was glaring at them, and shut up.

John really didn't think this was a good idea.

Teyla relaxed again, her eyes moved beneath her eyelids, she was looking for something. John tried reaching out to Teyla, but that fuzzy blackness still surrounded him.

He wondered now if what she was sensing was him. But if so why now?

Her hands moved to grip her knees, her shoulders tensed. Her breathing was no longer even. Her head turned to the side looking for, or at something.

The whites of her eyes showed beneath her lids...

Then she snapped out of it.

Elizabeth stepped forward, "Teyla?"

Her confusion showed, "I was mistaken."

"I reached out, but no one was there."

"Well, thats good." he said. But his own feeling of wrongness did not go away.

"I'm sorry." She stood up.

"There is no reason to be sorry." He said, he'd rather she be wrong, then be taken by surprise.

"Perhaps Rodney was right, it was the pressure at this depth."

"Well, if you've ever seen The Abyss, you know pressure can make you crazy." He said, trying to figure out why he was still concerned.

Then he realize what he'd said, "Not that I think you crazy... or anything... I was..."

She nodded a little confused, and said "It's all right, John. I am relived."

"So am I." Elizabeth added.

"Well we have a lot of exploring to do." Elizabeth said letting her relief shine through.

"WE?" John asked, he thought she had to stay with Rodney.

"Yes, until Rodney makes his preliminary report, I'm all yours. Put me to work, Colonel."

"All right, lets make up some time, lets split up in teams of two. Ronon, Teyla you two go together. And Elizabeth, your with me, or I'm with you, however you wanna put it."

"Either way is fine, or either way," Elizabeth said, smiling.

"So, John are sure your not feeling anything?" Elizabeth asked after they were out of everyone else's hearing.

"Yeah, it's kind weird. I thought I would feel Teyla when she reached out, but I felt nothing."

They walked in silence for awhile.

"That was really weird." He said, thinking over everything.

"Well, we are on the very bottom of the ocean. You might be right and the pressure is getting to her."

"Hopefully not as bad as the guy in The Abyss." John said still a little distracted.

**Thirty Minutes Later**

"Still, your really not sensing anything?" Elizabeth asked.

"No. I'm not."

"Why do you ask?" he asked, stopping Elizabeth.

"Well you seem distracted."

"Do I?"

"Yes, John you haven't said much, and you keep looking around like your trying to get your bearings or something."

"Yeah, well... something isn't right."

"Are you sure the pressure isn't getting too you to?"

He stopped and looked at her, "I'm not sure."

Then the lights went out on them.

_ "Rodney, what's going on?"_

"_What do you mean, what's going on?"_

_ "The lights just went out on us."_ he said over his radio.

"_What?"_

Elizabeth was tapping her foot, he could hear it. It echoed oddly off the walls. He had to repress a shudder, why? The lights were only out. What was bothering him?

"_You're right."_ Rodney said over the radio.

Elizabeth was exasperated, _"Yes, we can see that."_

"_We just lost power to forty precent of the station. Sensors are off-line."_

"_Zelenka, what are you doing?"_

"_What? What do you mean, what am I doing?"_

"_Have you lost power where you are?"_

"_No."_

"_Have you?"_

"_No."_

_ "We have." _John said, along with Elizabeth. _"I wanna know why."_

"_You know this station has been idle down here for a few millennia, we're bound to blow a few fuses. Look I'll have power back on in a minute. Just hang tight." _

John was still feeling creeped out, but pushing Rodney was not going to help.

_ "Ronon? Teyla? report your position."_

There was no response.

_ "Ronon? Teyla?"_

Just static...

John and Elizabeth stopped and looked at each other, Elizabeth looked concerned.

_ "Ronon? Teyla?" _He waited a moment, _"Ronon? Teyla? come in?"_

_ "Rodney, we can't reach Ronon and Teyla. Do you know where they last were?"_

"_No, negative. Internal sensors are out, but I have determined the location where the power went down."_

"_It's in the auxiliary control area. Search grid six."_

"_That's the deck Ronon and Teyla were searching. Look, we'll meet you there."_ John said concerned, what ever he wasn't feeling, had gotten Ronon and Teyla. He and Elizabeth headed for where Teyla and Ronon had been last check in. Getting close John could hear Rodney moving, but given that he jumped when he saw them, Rodney hadn't heard him or Elizabeth.

"There you are." Rodney said, relived.

They walked the halls looking for any sign of Ronon or Teyla. They'd found nothing, it didn't help that all they had were flashlights, the lights weren't on, so it was pretty dark.

John knew this, but he noticed he was seeing like it was broad day light.

Then they all heard weapon's fire, He recognized a nine mil.

Elizabeth stated the obvious, "Weapon's fire."

So he added. "Yeah, a nine mil."

"This way," before heading towards it.

He grinned at Rodney's muttered, "Sure run towards the gunfire."

All this time, and Rodney still was not confident in their ability to handle it.

They thought they were close to the gunfire. When, he found Ronon on the floor groaning.

"Whoa, slow down Chewie," he could see Ronon was hurt, but the man was trying to sit up anyway.

"Are you all right?" Weir asked.

"No." he groaned again.

"Did you see who attacked you?" Weir asked, helping him sit up slowly.

"Yeah, it was Teyla."

"What? Why?" Rodney asked.

John nodded, his darkest thought was probably right, the Wraith had faked them out, and now was attacking the station through Teyla. But if there really was a Wraith why couldn't he feel it?

"Okay, until we know what's going on I want everyone in one place." Elizabeth ordered.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

They kept going after Teyla, everyone else was confined to the control deck.

Rodney got a call over the radio from Zelenka.

_This is Zelenka. Someone activated the emergency force fields."_

"_What?"_ Rodney said.

"_The emergency force fields on the station have gone up."_

"That doesn't make any sense. What is she doing?" Rodney demanded.

John wondered the same thing. It didn't make any sense if the Wraith was on board, it was just locking it's self in here with them. Maybe there was no Wraith and Teyla had gone nuts. He wasn't sure which was worse, Teyla going nuts, or a Wraith he couldn't sense.

"You and Elizabeth go back to the control room." He said, "Me and Ronon will go find Teyla. And try to get those force fields down, I don't like not being able to go as I please."

"Be carefully." Weir said.

"No kidding." Ronon said.

John had a feeling Ronon wasn't going to forget Teyla taking him down for a long time.

Elizabeth and Rodney set off, back to the control room.

He and Ronon, set off to where the axillary control panel was supposed to be for this level.

**Ten Minutes Later**

John could hear some noise from around the corner, he signaled Ronon that he heard something, and they slowed down. Both raised their weapons, and turned the corner to see Teyla with a gun aimed at them.

She then lowered it a little. "Colonel?"

"Put the gun down." He said, taking no chances.

She looked at her hand like she didn't realize the gun was there, and dropped it. "What is going on Colonel?"

"I'm not sure." he said, he and Ronon took the gun, and marched Teyla back to crew quarters.

When they questioned her, she didn't really seem to remember any thing, other then when she first reached out for the Wraith mind and after that.

_"This is Sheppard. We have Teyla." _He said eyeing her well, she sat on the bed, she looked tired. And very upset.

"_And?"_ Elizabeth asked.

_ "And nothing, she doesn't seem to remember most of the last hour."_

_ "We're in crew quarters."_

"_Okay, I'll be there."_

**Ten Minutes Later**

Elizabeth walked in, and Teyla stood immediately.

"Elizabeth I'm so sorry." She said.

"Don't worry about it. How are you felling now?"

"Fine, have a bit of a head ache. But to hear of all the damage I caused... and to not remember it."

"Just tell us what you do remember."

John felt his gut clench. Here was what he'd wanted to know, but he'd waited for Elizabeth.

"I was attempting to seek out the Wraith presence with my mind, and then..."

"There is a Wraith?" Elizabeth's face paled.

"The most powerful mind I have ever felt."

Elizabeth looked at John, he looked at the floor. Why. If this is so, Why did he not feel it, he still didn't feel it.

He felt frustrated, why was he useless? It was all he could do not to growl, or something.

"I tried to shut her out..." Teyla continued on, not noticing his reaction to the news.

"Her?"

He had caught the 'her'. If it was a queen... damn it! But this could explain why he didn't feel her, Damn it! He hated queens.

"Yes," Teyla said, "I believe it to be a queen," obviously not aware of his reaction.

Elizabeth was, and was worried about it. She knew queens had liked to single him out before, but now.

Teyla looked up at him, a little concerned.

"I hate queens." He said, still wrestling with his doubts.

"In that brief moment, I sensed great power, the power of centuries, hunger, and then nothing."

"Till you and Ronon aiming your weapons at me."

John winced, yeah, that would suck.

He had felt fear before, but this deep gut feeling of not being able to deal with this Wraith, it hurt, he was letting everyone down. But this queen seemed actively be hiding herself from him, and he wondered why.

It failed to stop him from being afraid. But he'd long known, the best way to get over it was to charge right in.

"So, there is a Wraith aboard the drilling platform." Elizabeth announced this, looking at him. He didn't meet her gaze, he looked at Teyla.

"If that were the case why did she use Teyla to do all the damage?" he asked, mind finally kicking in gear. He met her gaze. "And why didn't the life sighs detector find her?"

"It doesn't matter. If she's here I'll find her." Ronon said, adding to the conversation for the first time.

"We'll find her." He said committing his self, no running away now.

"I would like to help." Teyla said.

John turned back to her, he felt it was a bad idea. It was hypocritical to tell her no, because if she was vulnerable so was he.

He was glad when Elizabeth realized his problem and spoke for him.

"I'm sorry, Teyla, but until we can determine exactly what..."

"Yes, of course I understand."

John could tell she did understand, it didn't make her any less frustrated, but she understood.

**Elizabeth**

"How are you feeling?" Elizabeth asked as she paced.

"Fine, the headache is even fading. But I have never been most ashamed."

"Oh, you can't blame yourself."

"I should have been more careful."

"A Wraith Queen's mind is extremely powerful, Teyla. You know that better than I do."

"Still, if my actions well under her control lead to someone getting hurt..."

They were both silent for a moment, thinking of Sheppard, and Ronon hunting the queen down.

"Still, Teyla if you hadn't done what you had done, we wouldn't even know of the danger, so I for one I'm glad to know what we're dealing with. Teyla, If anything I should thank you, and I certainly don't blame you."

"I would like to help them find her."

"Teyla..."

"There is no risk."

"I don't know that."

"Unless you still think she is controlling me even now."

"Would I be alone with you if I did?"

Teyla thought on that, and then ducked her head in embarrassment.

"I am sorry. I just don't like letting them go with out me."

Elizabeth smiled a little.

"But you still think I am some how vulnerable to her?" Teyla asked, still frustrated.

"I just think it is better to keep you away from her, yes." Elizabeth paused, "Look, I don't understand how your mind link works. But if it's even a remote possible for her to take over you, you're right I don't want you near her."

"She was only able to take over me because I opened my mind to her, and she took me off guard."

Elizabeth was silent.

"If I open my mind again to her I will be ready."

"Teyla..."

**MEANWHILE John**

Ronon and he had gone through most of the possible levels they had access to.

_ "Rodney we really need those forcefields down."_

"_Come on Sheppard, I told you it would take time."_

_ "And you've had lots of it." _John shook his head at Rodney.

He and Ronon went to check again.

Then they saw a shadow, when it disappeared, John pointed Ronon down the other hall way, and he went towards the where, the shadow had been.

He walked a ways, nothing, nothing, nothing, then he turned the conner.

As he went down the hall, he was hailed over the radio. _"Colonel Sheppard! Help! If you can hear me, please..." "Help Me!" _Then John could hear the man choking.

_ "Who is this? What's your location?"_

He waited and the radio stayed silent.

_ "McKay. Do you have any men unaccounted for?"_

"_Two guys I sent back to the jumper."_

_ "I think their in trouble. Can you get the forcefields down yet?"_

"_We're working on it."_

"_Colonel Sheppard. Teyla is sure the Queen is aboard the station." _Elizabeth told him over the radio.

_ "Yeah I know,"_ he said. Heading for the forcefield that separated him from the jumper. _"Ronon I'm heading for the jumper meet me there."_ He was running now.

"_I'm on my way." _Ronon replied.

John stopped his self, when he saw the forcefield was up like he'd thought it would be. Well now he knew why the queen had, had Teyla put them up.

He received another frantic radio call.

"_Sheppard! Help me! Please..."_

_ "McKay!"_

Listening to this, hurt. This guy was begging for rescue. Not being able to help was killing him.

"_I'm working on it!" _

_ "McKay, you need to work fast here."_

"_Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, almost there."_

He paced.

Then his forcefield went down, he raced off.

"_John use the jumper censers, it should find them."_

John reached the jumper bay, in seconds. If he'd been thinking he, would he have known he had gone as fast as he could, leaving Ronon in the dust from his already further away route. He approached the jumper cautiously, he could see water tracks leading to the jumper.

He walked as quietly as he could, there could be a queen in there. He looked inside, no Wraith, just the back of Graydon's head. "Graydon?"

He reached out and spun him around, and winced. The guy was dead, fed upon.

_ "I found Graydon. He's dead, Fed upon."_

"_What about Dickenson?"_

_ "No, there's no sign of him yet."_

_ "I'll see if I can find him using the.."_ John stopped, the fuzzy blackness was pressing in on him. It was almost a presence, behind him. He knew it even as he turned, bringing the P-90 to bear. The queen caught him, pressing in on his will, his mind. The wall she'd kept up fell, he could feel her now, all those years. The pain... "ugh!" He wanted to scream, but this was fought in silence. It was.. "auh!" The pressure she could bring to bear.

She was crushing him, he tried pushing out, away, she just pushed back.

Despite his best efforts, she made him drop the P-90. He could hear Weir calling over his radio for him, he couldn't speak.

She made him stepped towards her, he fought every step of the way. Finally he was in front of her, she made him fall to his knees, bowing before her. She may have control of his body, but his mind was still there. He continued to fight back.

She snarled. He continued to see flashes, she'd made Dickenson call for him, her feeding off of her crew, as Graydon had told her he was the only one who could fly the ship. Her ship crashing.

"_**Sheppard**_**,** she thought at him, _**your comrades betrayed you, and you don't seem to mind. What kind of human are you, to have the mind of a Warlord?"**_

"**_I have encounter others of the one I controlled, but you...You are something new."_**

"_**I see that you have killed many of my sisters, but what have you... AAAhhh! You were offered... no. he repaid you." **_He could see in her head she knew the Wraith who'd fed off of him. She seemed to think a name but there were no sounds, for it it truly was a thought.

"_Sheppard this is McKay, What've you got?"_

I've got a wraith queen that's what I've got.

She snarled, what seemed to be a laugh.

He was regaining control slowly he could now curl and uncurl his fists.

"_Sheppard can you hear me?"_ there was pause, _Is something wrong?"_

"_**Stop! Sheppard your body is mine! You will fly me to the surface and I will regain my place!"**__ S_he touched his face seeking a link to overpower him.

With her thinking those thoughts, and with her desperate need for him to fly her away. She made him lose the little ground he had recovered.** "**_**I will not let a human over power me!"**_

He fought back, she would not have him. Then he saw Ronon aiming at her, with their minds linked, she saw as well. She turned just as Ronon fired.

The glass in the jumper's window broke... Allowing all the water in.

**Just a little cliffy, see you soon. **

**Dark shadowed rose**


	5. Chapter 5 Pale Part Two

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer Not mine, I don't own Stargate Atlantis that is MGM's. Not mine! Keep in mind I did use some of the following episode for this chapter so some of the phrasing might be from the episode. **

**The episode is Submersion.**

**This story starts up after The Game, and ignores Irresponsible, so Kolya is alive. Song is Pale by Within Temptation**

**Last time...**

John reached the jumper bay, in seconds. If he'd been thinking he, would he have known he had gone as fast as he could, leaving Ronon in the dust from his already further away route. He approached the jumper cautiously, he could see water tracts leading to the jumper.

He walked as quietly as he could, there could be a queen in there. He looked inside, no wraith, just the back of Graydon's head. "Graydon?"

He reached out and spun him around, and winced. The guy was dead, fed upon.

_ "I found Graydon. He's dead, Fed upon."_

"_What about Dickenson?"_

_ "No, there's no sign of him yet."_

_ "I'll see if I can find him using the.."_ John stopped, the fuzzy blackness was pressing in on him. It was almost a presence, behind him. He knew it even as he turned, bringing the P-90 to bear. The queen caught him, pressing in on his will, his mind. The wall she'd kept up fell, he could feel her now, all those years. The pain...ugh! He wanted to scream, but this was fought in silence. It was.. auh! The pressure she could bring to bear.

She was crushing him, he tried pushing out, away, she just pushed back.

Despite his best efforts, she made him drop the P-90. He could hear Weir calling over his radio for him, he couldn't speak.

She made him stepped towards her, he fought every step of the way. Finally he was in front of her, she made him fall to his knees, bowing before her. She may have control of his body, but his mind was still there. He continued to fight back.

She snarled. He continued to see flashes, she'd made Dickenson call for him, her feeding off of her crew, as Graydon had told her he was the only one who could fly the ship. Her ship crashing.

"_**Sheppard**_**,** she thought at him, _**your comrades betrayed you, and you don't seem to mind. What kind of human are you, to have the mind of a Warlord?"**_

"**_I have encounter others of the one I controlled, but you...You are something new."_**

"_**I see that you have killed many of my sisters, but what have you... AAAhhh! You were offered... no. he repaid you."**_He could see in her head she knew the Wraith who'd fed off of him. She seemed to think a name but there were no sounds, for it it truly was a thought.

"_Sheppard this is McKay, What've you got?"_

I've got a wraith queen that's what I've got. She snarled, what seemed to be a laugh.

He was regaining control slowly he could now curl and uncurl his fists.

"_Sheppard can you hear me?" there was pause, Is something wrong?"_

"_**Stop! Sheppard your body is mine! You will fly me to the surface and I will regain my place!" **__S_he touched his face seeking a link to overpower him.

With her thinking those thoughts, and with her desperate need for him to fly her away. She made him lose the little ground he had recovered.** "**_**I will not let a human over power me!"**_

He fought back, she would not have him. Then he saw Ronon aiming at her, with their minds linked, she saw as well. She turned just as Ronon fired.

The glass in the jumper's window broke... Allowing all the water in.

**Chapter Five**

"_Sheppard, this is McKay. Please respond."_

"_Sheppard come in." _

John rolled over, Shit!... He had cracked ribs, and his hand was broken, he looked at it, the bruising began to fade, before his eyes, so he decided let it be, and to answer.

"_Sheppard Come IN!"_

The panic in his voice was nice to hear, some times John almost thought Rodney didn't care, sometimes it was just nice to know that he did.

_ "I'm still here."_ he groaned in to the radio, ribs were killing him, not to mention the headache.

"_We had to throw up the emergency forcefields up."_

Radek told him over the radio, as he reached for his gun with his off hand, the Wraith Queen was on the ground unconscious. Didn't stop him from wanting to shoot her.

"_The section you were in was flooding."_

_ "I noticed!"_ he said trying to sit up.

"_See, you were thrown clear of the bulkhead by the force of the water." _Rodney told him.

"Ronon?" he said, scooting over to him, watching the Queen.

Ronon groaned and rolled over, he didn't seem hurt just knocked out, unlike his self, John noted.

Ronon got up, now that he was awake. Ronon recovered fasted, he went over and tapped the forcefield, "I missed."

"I noticed that too!" John said still laying on the floor, his ribs hurt and holding his gun in his good hand. He had no hand to help his self up with.

"Where's the Queen?" John pointed at her with his gun.

Ronon pointed his gun her way.

"_Ok, so everyone is accounted for. But Dickenson?"_ McKay asked.

_ "I think he's dead, but I don't know."_ John said. But he did know, he'd been fed upon.

"_Look, I don't know what just happened, but we are now cut off from the jumper."_

Ronon had gone over, and was standing over the Queen. Gun pointed straight in her face, "I won't miss now."

"Wait!"

"What for?"

"Ronon, she had to have come from some where, maybe a ship."

That was part of the reason, he'd stopped Ronon from killing her, but he didn't want to think about the other parts.

Ronon signed.

They grabbed her by the arms, and dragged her away.

**Half an Hour Later**

They'd all paced while waiting for her to wake up, it was Elizabeth's turn to pace, when she did.

"Welcome back."

The Queen fought her restraints.

"I trust your comfortable." Elizabeth said politely.

John spoke as he felt her reaching for his mind, "That groggy sensation your feeling is the sedatives we're pumping in to you."

She snarled, he had a lot less trouble forcing her out, and away from him. No one else in the room realized what was going on, even as she continued her battering at his mind, and snarling.

"Just a precaution." he said, feeling her pushing at him.

He was getting better at blocking her, he continue to feel the way she protected her mind. It was hard but he began to copy some of it, in little ways, it felt like she had a curtain up at the moment. Before it had been her opening her full mind and trying to crush him, but now... There he'd actual blocked her out completely, for a spilt second.

He'd worked on this back in Atlantis, for now he was pretty sure even if she escaped she couldn't over whelm him again.

"As for the other precautions." he said almost smirking, as she hurled her self at his mind, furious.

Ronon showed her the gun he was holding, and set it to kill.

"Now your going to tell us, what we want to know." Elizabeth said angry for the death of her scientists.

"In exchange for?"

"This is not an a negotiation." Elizabeth said, furious.

"I disagree."

John touched her mind, he felt satisfaction. A victory? What was he feeling? The Queen was now using her grogginess against him. He shook his head to clear it.

"Let me get this over with." Ronon said, powering his gun, and aiming.

The Queen sat up abruptly, scaring Elizabeth, Ronon charged, slamming the Queen back down.

Both he and Ronon had guns on her, Ronon was holding her down by the throat.

She snarled again.

They all stayed, like that for a minute or so.

Elizabeth's breathing slowed, and both he and Ronon looked at her for the go ahead. She shook her head no. Ronon let go, and left to go stand against the wall. He had a little more trouble, she had struck well he was distracted, and he was trying to disentangle his mind from hers.

Finally he did it, and stepped over to allow Elizabeth back over. He kept his gun on the Queen.

"How did you get aboard this station?" Elizabeth asked.

The Queen snarled.

"Are there any more of you?"

The Queen just looked away. John reached out to touch her mind, but it was locked down tight.

Ronon approached lifting his gun to point at her, as she stayed quiet.

Finally she looked at them and said, "You are all about to die."

John had still been touching her mind and he got from her a sureness, that scared him.

"Really?" Elizabeth said.

"You care to elaborate on that at all?" John asked feeling, afraid.

She merely ignored them, turning her head away from them with a hiss.

**Forty Five Minutes Later**

John stood there, as Rodney showed them the downed ship, it explained some of what he'd seen in her head, well they'd been merged.

"It's seems completely buried in silt." Rodney said, amazed.

"Which means it's been here a very, very, very, very long time." Zelenka said.

"Yes, give or take a "very"." Rodney said dryly.

"That doesn't explain how she got here." He said, she couldn't have swam.

"Maybe she swam over." Elizabeth said.

"No, No. The pressure at this depth is..." John said, waving his hand at the screen.

"Enough to kill a human but she's not remember." Rodney said. "And with the Wraith ability to heal it's self..." Zelenka finished

"And there are no others?" Teyla asked concerned.

John shook his head, "There's no way to know for sure." He did know, but he couldn't tell anyone if he wanted to keep his secret.

They went and were telling Teyla what they now knew.

"Our prisoner isn't talking, other then, 'Your all about to die'."

"Which may or may not be an empty threat." Elizabeth said.

"Then you have no way of knowing?" Teyla asked, seem to be confused about where they were going with this.

"Well she said it with a lot confidence." John said, thinking of the smug sureness he'd felt radiating off of her. He hate to talk to Teyla about reading her mind but...

**Five Minutes Later**

The Queen seemed to recognize Teyla, "You?"

"I was caught off guard that first time. That will not happen again." Teyla said firmly.

"It does not matter."

"Well, we think it does." John said annoyed, he hated being told it was too late.

"Your fate is sealed," she hissed at him. Angry with him.

He looked at Elizabeth, who looked at him questioningly. He shrugged.

Teyla turned to Ronon. "If you have any reason to suspect that I am not myself do not hesitate to use that, she said, looking at his gun.

"I won't." Ronon said positively.

John watched Teyla, as she readied her self, when she entered the wraith Queen's mind he for lack of a better term, followed her. It was strange the Queen didn't seem to notice him she was so focused on Teyla, his slipping in didn't bother her.

He thought about what to look for, and decided to look for what she'd meant about him being repaid. As Teyla told Ronon and Weir what she was seeing, John looked at memories of the Queen meeting the Wraith he'd escaped from Kolya with.

_**She talked with him about the problems with the Ancients, and how they should handle them, oddly enough the Wraith Lord as she thought of him was against lending the charge. He felt the disappointment she'd felt at his refusal, to join her.**_

_**The scene changed.. he saw her once again attacking Atlantis. The ship falling from the sky, sinking.**_

He forced the memories to switch, back to the other Wraith._**She was small, a little child, he saw her running to meet the Wraith, she smiled at him. "They said you could take me." she said the other. **_

_**They went to a world and it had a small primitive village, the people smiled a little at them, Wraith, they gathered the sick and the old and took them through the gate, to their planet. They treated the people nicely, and would take them away from the others before feeding.**_

John didn't understand this, it made no sense, but then the Queen found him and threw him out. He staggered. The other two didn't notice entranced as they were by Teyla's words.

"Too deep to ever swim to the surface... Waking between centuries..."

"Waiting for rescue that never came, until finally she was alone."

John watched the Queen fight to stop Teyla, Teyla was able to push passed her when the Queen tried to block her viewing the memories.

"She sense our presence in our decent, she sensed me." Teyla gasped at this. John knew the Queen had sensed him too, as she had been blocking him since the beginning, so why had the Queen not added him to that?

"She knew this was her only chance, to escape from her prison."

"The water was Crushing... and cold! But she could do it, she would one day lead her alliance again."

The Queen was really starting to wake up, her eyes were wide and she was beginning to force Teyla out.

Teyla was fighting as much as she could, but she was losing ground. John decided to help, he stabbed at the Queen's mind trying to reach more of her memories about that Wraith. Her back arched under the assault before he broke through.

_**He was speaking to a young man, a villager. The young man was covered in blood, the blood seemed to be coming from his shoulder, but he was ignoring it in favor of giving his report. They were clearly on a cruiser.**_

_**The Wraith nodded, and reached to link his hand to the boy's chest. The young man didn't seem afraid, he acutely looked relived. The Wraith, healed him...**_

John was thrown from her mind, he couldn't understand... why had he healed the villager? But then he realized, the Wraith had told him 'The gift of life is reserved for our most devote worshipers, and our bothers.' That boy had to be a worshiper, and that meant he was probably not that young.

Well if nothing else, he'd given Teyla the help she'd needed.

"Finally, after all of these millennia a ship!"

"But she didn't possess the gene need to fly it."

"She used Dickenson to call me." He said sadly.

"Then... Then... Then!" Teyla gasped for air, "Then she set the self-destruct device on the ship, it's set to go off in less than two hours."

John sighed, of course it wasn't a bluff.

"You are all about to die!" Teyla said.

Teyla tore her mind away.

She heaved great shuddering breaths. John put his gun away, he patted her on the shoulder, "Good job."

She nodded.

They left Ronon watching the Queen, they lead Teyla to crew quarters, for a nap. He and Elizabeth went to tell Rodney what they had learned.

"How's Teyla?" Rodney asked.

"She's resting." Elizabeth said, "I think that took more out of her then she'd like to admit."

Yeah, the sad thing is John thought, is she had help with that. His headache that had just started to go away, was back in full force. That would teach him, he rubbed a little at his temples.

"What's the news?" He asked.

"Well it looks like the Ancients picked this part of the ocean floor, because the crust is remarkable thin right below us, allowing then to drill right in to the magma and maximize geothermal power output." Rodney said, bring up the ocean floor, on screen.

"Okay." John said, trying not to be annoyed with Rodney. "So your news is that this place works like it's advertised?"

No, what I'm trying to tell you is that there is a lot of power under our feet, and say, if a Wraith Cruiser was allowed to explode, it would break through the crust, and release the magma, meaning it would erupt." Rodney said grumpy with John for not letting him explain it his own way.

"Yes, all that geothermal energy beneath us, will be released all at once, even if the ship exploding didn't kill us at first, that most certainly will. Zelenka finished.

"Oh my god!" Elizabeth said.

"So bad news." John said.

"Yeah! The initial explosion will be magnified a hundred times over, we are talking catastrophic here." Rodney said grimly.

"So it won't be just us affected?" He asked knowing the answer already.

"No, Atlantis is way too close, it would be destroyed as well." Radek said.

"And we have no way to warn them?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, they'd never see it coming." Rodney said flatly.

John began pacing. "So we disarm the self destruct." he said, ever since he'd heard, as well as seen that the Queen had swam over he had wondered if he could take it.

"Thats brilliant." Rodney said, "Except for the fact, there's no way to get there."

John looked at Elizabeth, should he say something now? She stared back, seeming to have no answers.

"How do we do that without a Jumper?" Elizabeth said, leaving it up to him.

"Well, shouldn't a rescue Jumper be here any minute now, we're way behind schedule." John said, a little reluctant to try or to even tell anyone that that was a possibility until the last minute.

"Even if they left the minute we were late, they'll still take too long." Rodney said.

"No, there's no way they'll make it in time." Radek agreed.

"How far is the Cruiser?" Maybe it was his only choice, still he really would rather not.

"Less then a kilometer." Radek told him.

Damn it! He likely never make it that far even with his improved body.

"She swam that far?" Elizabeth asked disbelief clear in her voice.

"I have an idea." Rodney said.

**Down in the Lower Levels**

John looked at the suits, it would be slow going, but they could do it.

He then looked at the open holes in the floor, "This is probably how she got in." He said, almost not realizing what he'd spoken.

"Let's get you suited up!" Rodney said.

"I think you mean us."

Rodney wilted a little, "Of course."

John had forgotten Rodney's fears of claustrophobia.

_ "Your breathing too hard."_

"_Oh, forgive me for being aware of just how much pressure is being exerted on this suit right now."_

_ "Just think of it as a walk on the beach... A beach thats going to explode." _He smirked it was fun to needle Rodney even when it was life or death.

"_That's supposed to make me feel better?"_

_ "No it's supposed to make you walk faster."_

"_Hey! I am walking as fast as I can."_

"_This is Weir, how close are you?"_

_ "Almost there. But we may have to ask Teyla to search for the code in her mind." _He said.

"_I'd rather not do that."_

Once they found the entrance, it was easy to reach the air pocket, and lose the suits. But finding the entrance took way too long.

"That took too long." he said.

"Yeah, well, I probably won't be able to disarm the self destruct in time anyway."

"Why don't we find it first, then you can get negative."

As they walked around looking for the self destruct, Rodney noted that the ship, was in good condition.

"Yeah, you'd think after ten thousand years she'd want to redecorate." he said.

"I'm serious. The hull damage is minimal. They probably just lost their main drive."

"Your saying this thing might be salvageable?"

"I'll have to assess primary systems, but it's possible."

"Of course, you'll probably just blow it up, or ram it in to another hive ship. Or something like that and all that work will be for nothing."

John ignored that. "Tick. Tick. Tock." he said.

"Fine."

"It should be right here." Rodney said, taking them down the left turn.

They reached a console. "Oh, Great!" Rodney said.

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure this is the device, and that it says, we have less then half an hour."

"So turn it off."

Rodney touched the controls, and the red light kept blinking. "Hun?"

"What does that mean?" he asked looking at Rodney.

"It's not accepting any commands. There must be some sort of command code that has to entered first."

"Can you figure it out?" he said.

"Yes, well, command codes are usually quite simple like the number one, or the letter A or like your birthday. Which in Wraith would be...

"Ok, I get it. Can you figure out the code and turn it off, or not?"

"Maybe if I had a million years, and oh look I have just under that."

"Rodney."

"No, not unless I have that code."

He turned, walking away a little.

_ "Elizabeth you there?" _he asked over the radio.

"_Yes, please tell me you have something."_

He stayed quiet. _"Damn it!"_ she swore.

_ "Rodney needs the code Elizabeth, before he can turn it off."_

"_Thats bad news, Teyla's tried, but she's tired, and I don't know that she can do it."_

Both of them were quiet.

**Fifteen Minutes Later**

"Remind me why I'm bate again?" John asked, standing over the controls.

"Because she expects you to be trying to fly the ship away." Rodney said from behind the pillar, he was hiding behind.

"Right, and how is this a good plan? I mean it all depends on Teyla being able to lie to the Queen."

"Well, the Queen comes here, turns off the self destruct, we shoot her, and then we all get to live." Rodney said.

John sighed, waiting sucked.

"_She's swimming over." _Elizabeth said over the radio.

_ "Good, how's Teyla?"_

"_Out cold."_

He winced, the idea of locking out the Queen, was hard enough to imagine, but to lie to her. He shuddered.

He stood there waiting, she was hiding her self from him, but now he knew how that felt, and that alone let him follow her progress.

The beeping had gotten faster, well they waited. So now that he'd began to pay more attention to it, then his surroundings. He was almost surprised, when he felt her there.

He whipped around,"Well, your one hell of a swimmer, I'll give you that."

She continued to approach him, he kept backing up.

"You have restored power?"

"It'll fly." he said.

She reached the self destruct panel, and began typing in the code.

Once she was done she turned once more to him, "You shall be rewarded. But should I kill you or keep you?"

At this Rodney jumped out from behind his pillar, and emptied his clip from his P-90 in to her.

But she didn't die.

Rodney began to back away, well she a charged him.

"OK! She's not dying, according to plan here!"

John drew his nine mil and emptied it in to her, she slowly fell to the floor. And stayed down.

"I thought you had forgotten about me there." he said to Rodney.

"Of course not! I just had to wait for her to disable the self destruct."

"Hey, just be glad she didn't feed on you before, she disabled the device." Rodney added.

"So, thats why you didn't wanna be bait."

"No. No. No. It had to be you because she would be expecting you to fly the ship."

He shook his head, sometimes Rodney just was so easy to see through.

"She's dead right?" Rodney asked staring at her body.

"Let's get out of here." he lead the way back to the suits.

**Back in crew quarters, on the drilling platform.**

John walked passed the now awake Teyla, "So how are you feeling?"

"Oh. Much better now that I no longer feel the constant presence of the Wraith."

John set his stuff down on the floor, by the bed he'd claimed. Then he sat down.

"That was no ordinary Wraith. It took a lot of bullets to take her down."

"I wish I was there." Ronon said unstrapping his gun to lay down as well.

"He's right you know. I mean, deceiving a Wraith Queen..." Elizabeth said.

"That's no small feat."

"Well with everyone at risk, it was easy to summon the strength needed." Teyla said staring at the floor.

McKay came in, "Well, Zelenka finally got communications back up."

"Turns out Atlantis had sent a jumper, and they should be here within the hour."

"That is good news." Elizabeth said grinning.

"Yeah, no kidding. I can't wait to see the sun." Ronon said laying on his stomach.

"What? No, no, no. we haven't finished what we came here for." McKay said. "Look, the Wraith's gone. We've got a ton of research to do." he said excited.

"Yes, we do." Elizabeth said, standing, and grabbing her jacket.

"In fact, I'm pretty sure, we should be able to come up with a way to get auxiliary power on line in a few days."

"Well, thats good." Elizabeth said.

"Is he serious?" Ronon asked staring at John.

"Yeah. He is." he untied his boots, so as to be more comfortable.

"Well I for one intend to spend the next little while resting." Teyla said laying down.

"Same here." John said.

"Yeah, me too." Ronon said.

The three of them got comfortable, and the other two fell asleep.

But John kept thinking, over what had happened. He found that suddenly he didn't really want to sleep.

So he lay there waiting for the jumper. His mind faintly uneasy.

**So there's the chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6 Fault Line

**Away From Atlantis**

**Disclaimer. Not mine, I don't own John, I don't own Stargate Atlantis. I don't own the episode Vengeance. I only own the bigger picture, and because it was my idea. But I don't get payed for it so I might as well own nothing.**

**This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible. So Kolya is still alive.**

**Chapter Six song Fault Line by Ten Years**

**Ten weeks after his change.**

John still couldn't believe that Rodney would voluntary put that on.

"So how's the ninja lessons going, Jet li?"

"What do you want?" Rodney asked, not taking his eyes off Ronon.

"We lost contact with the Taranans." Elizabeth said.

John still thought Elizabeth was being paranoid.

"You mean the volcano people?" Ronon asked, getting ready to smack Rodney again.

"Super volcano people." John added. Yeah, after seeing that, he hoped he wasn't around for when Yellowstone blows.

"What happened to them?" Rodney asked, still shuffling his feet.

"Well, we don't know thats why we're going."

"They usually check in from time to time from the new settlement." Elizabeth said, "We've been sending them food, medical supplies."

John was having a hard time keeping his face straight, it was mean to laugh at Rodney getting his butt kicked by Ronon, but the motions Ronon was doing were hysterical, and Rodney's heart beat was going too fast, it sounded like he was close to panicking.

"It's the least we can do since getting to Orion blown up." he added still trying not to laugh.

"But we haven't heard from them for a few months, I tried to contact them by radio, but no response." Elizabeth said, not a hint of a smirk on her face.

John gave in, he smirked. Rodney's heart was still beating fast, all he wanted to do was yell boo because he had a feeling Rodney would jump about a foot in to the air.

"So send a MALP." Rodney said turning as Ronon moved.

"We just did." He said, he'd have to come and watch more often, if all the sessions were like this. "Everything looks okay, but the settlement is a few kilometers from the gate, so we don't know anything yet."

"I want you to check it out." Elizabeth said giving in, her face showing how amused she was by Rodney.

"What?" Rodney turned away from Ronon, his mistake.

Bonk. "Uh...Oha!" Rodney bent over his hurt stomach.

John winced hits like always hurt, but Ronon's... Ouch. Didn't stop it from being funny. He supposed it helped that Ronon was having a harder time landing hits like that on him now. He was careful, but he was slowly increasing his speed and such, in their fights. So on missions he could use more of his actual strength.

Rodney continued to groan.

He looked up at Ronon an made the eyes watching motion.

"Eyes. Yes." Rodney mumbled.

Ronon grinned at him and shrugged.

John smirked at Rodney. "You may want to change first."

He and Elizabeth left.

He snickered as soon as he was sure they couldn't hear him.

**An Hour And Half A Hour Later **

They stepped through the gate and headed for town.

And half hour after that they were able to see the town.

"They've gotten a lot done haven't they?" McKay said.

"Yes. Teyla answered. They are a hard working people."

John touched his radio and made a call. _"This is John Sheppard from Atlantis, Taranan settlement please respond."_

Nothing...  
Teyla looked at him, he shrugged, "It was worth a try."

Teyla looked over a the town. "I've made several trips to assist them, so I know the settlement."

"Good, glad someone does." he said pulling out his sunglasses.

They head through the field, to town.

Once they reached it, they noticed it didn't look like an attack had happen, it looked like they had just up and left. But they had left everything behind, had they moved, they likely would have taken with them. They entered an office, he called out, noting the dust. "Anyone home?!"

Of course no one answered.

"I think we should power these work stations up, and made that will tell us something." He said, trying to turn one on.

Then the life signs detector beeped, Rodney pulled it out. "Whoa."

"I got something. A single life sign."

"Where is it?" Teyla asked looking at McKay.

"It's below us. Quite a way below us"

"That can't be right, I thought they only build above ground." he said.

"You are correct Colonel, but others that have lived here built tunnels, and they run beneath us." Teyla told him.

"But the Taranans didn't use them." she paused looking at Rodney.

"Well," Rodney said, "someone is."

"Where are they?" John asked her. "This way," she lead them through the settlement to a hatch set in the ground.

He tied a rope, and lead the way. Once at the bottom he began to have a bad feeling, it sat right behind his stomach, and felt cold. He looked around, scratch that. A Very Bad Feeling. The setting was something right out of a horror movie, flickering lights, and all.

He knew before the day was over something was going to attack them.

Now that they were all down, he turned to Rodney. "Which way?"

Rodney point to the left and on, he lead the way, Rodney a little behind him, so as to tell him where to go next.

As they headed towards, the little life sign, he noticed everyone was on edge, heart's going a little faster then they should. Everyone holding their guns tightly, even Rodney.

"Lets stay close shall we." he said.

They all nodded.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

They passed a door, Teyla opened it and called for everyone, "Wait, come see this."

John stepped over immediately, he saw a gross, sack, thing hanging from the ceiling.

"What is that?" Ronon asked.

"It looks like a cocoon of some sort." Teyla said.

He touched it. It was slimy, but the slime seemed almost dry.

"What's inside of it?" Ronon demanded.

"Nothing," he said leaning closer. "What ever it was has hatched."

Rodney stared at the little beeping life sign, a little scared.

They continued on for another ten minutes, when Weir called them.

"_How's it going there?"_

John heard Rodney jump, and smirked. As creeped out as he was, Rodney was, well, jumpy.

_ "I think I know why, we lost contact with the Taranans."_

"_Why?"_

_ "Because their not here." _ He said, stepping down a stair way.

"_What?! All of them?"_

_ "Looks like it, the entire settlement is deserted."_

_ "Rodney's picked up a life sign beneath the settlement, and we're following it. But we don't think it human though."_

"_Why not?"_

Because I feel really creeped out, because we found the weirdest egg thing, you know stuff like that, he thought.

Rodney answered._"Because we found this pod."_

_ "Really I thought it was an egg."_ he said just to be contrary.

"_Yeah, Well, what ever it was, something hatched from it." _Rodney said annoyed.

"_Did you say egg thing?"_

_ "Yeah, it's this great big slimy..."_

"_It's pod." _Rodney said glaring at him.

_"Well I still think it looks more like an egg, but who knows what it really is."_ he said, this dim, flickering light was annoying him. His eyes couldn't seem to adjust to this light.

"_I'm sending in back up."_ Elizabeth said, her worry coming through.

"_We can handle it."_ Ronon said.

"_I know you can handle it, but I would rather be safe then sorry."_

_ "All right, if you feel the need."_ he said, Elizabeth was nice like that, he hadn't needed to even ask. And she got what they weren't saying, that it was damn creepy, and that all of them before her call, hadn't spoken in anything louder then a whisper.

"_I feel the need. Weir out." _

They walked on, but they'd relaxed some. Except for him, and he knew it was because he was feeling what ever the hell they were tracking. And all he could tell was it gave him a cold chill, and it felt nasty.

"It's a hell of a complex down here." he said trying to get them to talk to distract him self.

"It's like a maze." Ronon agreed.

"We're closer." Rodney said watching the life signs detector.

John felt like snapping. I knew that! Thats why I wanted to talk because it's freaking me out. But he stayed silent.

"How far?" He asked, if they weren't going to let him forget he might as well know.

"About forty meters."

Dang. No wonder he felt snappish.

"It's stopped moving so we're gaining ground on it." Rodney said.

John looked back over his shoulder, he didn't know why he just did. Rodney, and Teyla were there, but no Ronon. Now he knew why he'd looked back, he'd heard Ronon move away.

"Stop, where's Ronon." he knew he was in the room over behind them, and now that he thought about it he smelled something other then the general staleness.

"Ronon?" Teyla called.

"In here."

They went in to find a bunch of Taranan bodies dumped in a pile.

Ronon was holding his nose.

"Oh my god." Rodney whispered.

"Taranans." Teyla said.

John winced it looked like they hadn't died peacefully, then he noticed how they'd all died. "Their necks, all have the same wound. Tell me I'm not seeing, what I think I'm seeing."

Rodney bent down, "Your right, that neck wound is scary familiar."

"You don't think..." John didn't bother finishing his sentence. No, someone had been playing with Iratus bugs, that much was clear.

He then noticed Ronon had stepped out of the room, and in to the next.

Damn it! He got up and followed Ronon.

"Ronon you've got to stop running off ahead." Then he saw what he was looking at. Teyla and Rodney followed him in to the room.

"Oh. No."

"The Iratus bug." Rodney said. They all stared at the jar holding to persevered bug.

"I hate those things." he said, all he wanted to do shoot it, even though it was dead already. Those things had partly made him what he was now.

"Well now we know why the wounds like familiar." Rodney said.

"But it is not native to this planet." Teyla said.

"Well someone brought it here." Ronon said.

"Well lets hope thats the only bug they brought." Rodney said a little negatively.

Who would do this? Clearly not the Taranans, he knew the Genii didn't know or care to do this sort of thing. So who?

"So some kind of Wraith experiment?" He asked Rodney.

"Well, the Taranans didn't do this to themselves."

He stared waiting.

"I do not sense any Wraith in the settlement." Teyla said.

And as good as that was to hear, he still thought it was still likely a Wraith experiment. Suddenly he felt their little friend coming.

Crap. He couldn't say anything, he tensed. What to do? Then the life signs detector beeped, Rodney looked at it.

"Oh, ok. Our little friend is on the move and he's coming towards us."

"How fast?" Ronon asked.

"Very fast." Rodney replied.

"I bet it knows we're here." Ronon said.

John turn to aim his gun, out the doorway. Ronon joined him in the doorway. Teyla and Rodney stood behind them, guns ready.

"Ronon, stun."

"Why?"

"Stun." he said, even though he knew it wasn't very nice. He wanted to see it or speak to it, and Ronon killing it when there was the slightest possibility it could be a person. Stun it was.

Ronon reluctantly set it to stun.

The detector beeped rapidly, Rodney looked down at it and whispered, "It's stopped."

He leaned out to see past the pile of Taranans, he saw nothing.

"I think it's on the other side of the wall." Rodney told them pointing to the wall.

John shared a look with Ronon, then he lead the way. Ronon followed then McKay, and Teyla.

"_Colonel Sheppard, come in."_ he twitched along with everyone else, even Ronon. They stopped in the Body room to talk to Lieutenant Negley.

"_Colonel Sheppard, this is Lieutenant Negley. Do you copy?"_

_ "Yes, Lieutenant?"_

"_Sir, my team have just come through the gate, and we are proceeding to the settlement in order..."_

_ "Great. Terrific. We'll meet you there."_ he hissed._ "Right now, I need radio silence. Sheppard out."_

"It's still there." Rodney said. Looking up at him and Ronon.

He and Ronon turn out in to the hall, guns held at chest height.

It wasn't there. John could feel it there, as he took two steps out, further in to the hall, he knew it was here. But where? He looked up, and around.

The beeping was getting annoying.

Suddenly he looked up and to the left, there was shaft leading up. He had gun aimed at the darkness, he froze, looking up. Ronon came over his gun pointing up too.

They waited, he could feel it near, it felt very close. Slowly he lowered his gun and took a step back from the bottom of the shaft. Ronon did the same.

Then it jumped out.

It flung Ronon away from it, it grabbed him and held him to the wall. Screaming through it's mandibles at him, he couldn't turn his gun to shoot at it. Teyla and Rodney were shooting it's back, but that wasn't stopping it, from trying to crush him.

He couldn't see to focus on what everyone else was doing so Ronon grabbing it, and shooting it in the head, came as a surprise.

It screamed, and fled, he slid to the floor. "Ouch."

"Are you okay?" Rodney asked worried.

Teyla knelt down next to him. He waved her off, "I'm fine." He used to wall to get up, and Teyla followed ready to catch him should he stagger. He groaned a little.

"Are you sure?" Ronon asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure." That it cracked my collar bone, he finished silently.

"Good, Now what the hell was that?" Rodney asked.

Now that he was standing, he had to ask. "Did anyone get a good look at it?"

They all shook their heads.

"I know all I saw was that it had mandibles." he said

"Well it seemed to have two legs and two arms." Ronon put out.

No one else add anything.

"Well, I think it's safe to say it definitely hatched from the egg." He said.

"Pod." Rodney said.

"I find it more like a cocoon." Teyla said.

They were silent.

"You shot it in the head, and it still ran away." Rodney said looking up the hall where it had run. "Hopefully it'll bleed to death." Ronon said.

"Yeah. Lets go finish it off." he said, leading the way.

**Five Minutes Later**

"It's still running away from us." Rodney said.

"Lets hope getting shot in the head slows it down."

"We need to finish it off to make sure." Ronon said being his bloodthirsty self.

"I couldn't agree with you more." he said. His feeling that it wasn't over yet was growing. He also hoped that his feeling, of feeling more, was wrong.

But he wasn't holding his breath.

"Yeah, and how is that going to work? It only ran away because Ronon shot it in the head. It didn't care about the bullets hitting it." Rodney said negatively.

"It did appear to have a hardened shell on it's back." Teyla put in.

"Right, Ronon set your gun to kill."

He said, cutting through the chatter.

_ "Lieutenant Negley, this is Sheppard how far away from the settlement are you?"_

Silence.

_ "Lieutenant Negley, please report your position."_

There was no response.

"You did say radio silence." Rodney offered.

_ "Lieutenant? Respond!"_

"Great." Just what they needed, their backup disappeared. But how? And somewhere between the gate and the settlement. This day was really turning out badly.

They walked in silence for a minute.

Rodney tapped his shoulder, and signaled that their little friend was to the right.

"It's through that door way."

Rodney went and reached for the door knob, John stood ready to blasted anything that came out, Teyla and Ronon stood behind him.

Rodney held up three fingers and counted down and then he whipped the door open.

Nothing came out, they couldn't see it. They walked slowly in to the room, nothing. All they saw was more egg sacks, no creature. They cleared the room only eggs. It wasn't there.

"Shit." Was all he could say, being in a room with them was making him sick to his stomach.

He went over to an egg, that hadn't hatched. He, and Ronon searched the room, they couldn't find it.

He went back out in to the hallway, where Teyla had been waiting to make sure it didn't double back.

Ronon shut the door behind them, apparently it bothered him to have the eggs, at his back.

"We searched the room it's not in there." He said, Rodney was looking at the detector. "Just a bunch of eggs."

"Pods." Rodney corrected him, looking up.

"Whatever." he said stifling his urge to smack Rodney.

"Is there another way out?" Rodney asked, looking at him and Ronon.

"No, Rodney we would have followed it if there was."

"Why?" Ronon asked.

"Because it's still on the move." Rodney said grimly.

John stared at the ceiling, he'd thought it didn't seem to stay to the hallways, like they did, it had come from the ceiling before. Air shafts.

"Alien." he said thinking out loud.

It reminded him of it, because in the move that was how they'd moved around.

"What?" Rodney asked, grumpy.

He stopped looking at the ceiling and looked at Rodney.

Rodney, Ronon, and Teyla were staring at him.

"hun? Oh! In the movie Alien, the aliens moved around by air shafts, like ours seems to." he said.

"And systematically murders the crew, Thank you so much!" Rodney said.

"They didn't kill them all." he said.

"What do we do now?" Teyla asked, trying to get them back on track.

"We track this thing down and kill it." Ronon said.

"Right, but first we need to take care of the eggs." he said.

"Pods."

"Whatever, Rodney!" John was annoyed, let it go, seriously Rodney. He pulled out some C4 and added a detonator, he waved it and smiled.

He went it to the room and set it on one of the eggs, Rodney and Teyla did the same.

He was setting his last charge when he felt a surge in one of the eggs, he flinched they were hatching.

He heard a roar, he winced, the sound seemed to echo a little in his head.

"Sheppard! Their Hatching!" Rodney yelled.

"We're good, Go!"

He let Rodney and Teyla get ahead of him, he looked back, it was almost free of it's egg.

"Shut the door, Shut the Door!" Rodney yelled as soon as he was clear.

He got through the door, and helped Ronon slam it, but the creature got it's fingers around the edge of the door. "Damn it!" he swore, he yanked it the door open, and shot it. It fell back screaming, he and Ronon shut the door. And ran around the corner, He checked that his teammates ears were covered, and he said "Fire in the hole."

It blew the door clear in to the hallway.

"Everyone okay?" he checked.

"Yes." Teyla said.

"I'm good." Ronon said looking back down the hallway.

"I think you singed my eyebrows." Rodney said touching them.

John ready his gun and lead the way back to make sure they'd killed everything.

"Think you used enough dynamite, Butch?" Rodney yelled after him.

The room was gone, it was a compete mess.

Nothing had survived.

He sniffed, it smelled like burned meat.

"Rodney?"

The detector beeped.

"I think we got them all."

"Thats good."

"And our little friend is that way." he said pointing.

They set off that way.

**Thirty Minutes Later...**

Negley had failed to respond, John at this point was sure they were dead or captured, both were bad.

He swore again.

"Perhaps they encountered the creature?" Teyla said.

"And, what, it what killed all four of them all?" Ronon said, skeptical.

"No way. One creature couldn't have killed four Marines." John said frustrated.

"It almost killed all of us." Rodney said.

"But. It. Didn't." Ronon said.

"We need to find them." he said, still feeling frustrated.

"If they were alive we would have seen on life-signs detector." Teyla said being unusually negative.

"Not if they were back in the settlement, this thing has only has a range of a hundred meters." Rodney pointed out.

"Where's the creature?" John asked, he was feeling it get away from them.

Rodney looked down at it, "Hold up."

They stopped.

"It's back that way." He said, pointing back the way they'd came.

"Wait... you said it was that way." Ronon said, pointing the way they were going.

"It was. It must have doubled back." Rodney said.

"Damn air shafts." he muttered. They were chasing their tails, it knew where it was going, and chasing it was only giving him a headache.

"Obviously it knows it's way around far better then we do." Teyla said.

"Perhaps we should go back to the gate, and find out what happened to the Marines, and get some others to help us search." Teyla finished.

"You mean give up?" Ronon asked.

He stood, and considered. He wanted it dead, he really wanted it dead, but it had them chasing it, and it was tiring them out. He was betting it would try to kill them again, when it thought they were tired enough.

"No, not give up. Just we should come back with others to clear the whole complex." Teyla said.

"I like this plan. I mean if we're taking a vote." Rodney said.

"Sounds like giving up to me." Ronon said, they all looked to him.

He still really wanted to hunt it down, but his team... He had to consider what was best for them. If it had killed the Marines...

"Teyla's right. Enough of this cat and mouse, we're going back to get back up. And do a full sweep and find the Marines."

He could tell that his call frustrated Ronon, but Teyla and Rodney were relived. He wondered if Teyla was aware of the fact it was the sense of the creature that was making her feel sick.

He turned and lead the way back.

They were almost back to the gate, and there was no sign of the Marines, that they could see or find on the scanner.

"Of all the other worlds I've seen, nothing like this has ever happened." Teyla said, shaking her head.

"So none of us saw enough, to give a good description?" he said.

"No." Teyla said.

"No, that thing move incredible fast." Rodney said.

"I don't know I thought it looked sorta human." Ronon said, walking fast.

"If by "human" you mean, clad in a grotesquely proportion exoskeleton, yes, very "human"." Rodney said.

"I mean it two arms and two legs." Ronon said

"It looked like a giant bug to me." He said, "Man, I hate those things."

"If it was indeed a Wraith experiment, why would they be combining the genetic elements of the Iratus bug and the Taranans?" Teyla pointed out.

"Which as we know is how the Wraith evolved." Rodney said.

"I mean the Iratus bug bites humans and a thousand years go by, Wraiths." He finished.

"So their trying to create more Wraith?" Ronon asked

"That doesn't make sense either, if that was want the goal was, wouldn't it just be easier to put a female and a man together, and get a room." He asked puzzled, a lot of this wasn't making sense.

"It doesn't work like that for Wraith, at least we don't think it does." Rodney said, sounding a little grossed out. "We're not entirely sure as to the Wraith's reproductive methods."

John kind winced at that, the idea of watching a Wraith... "Yeah, that is one film I would not want to see."

"Anyway, look, it's more likely they were trying to create some sort of hybrid creature. And not another Wraith." Rodney said.

"So you mean a Super-Wraith? Great, thats just what we need." He swore, if that came to pass they were screwed, it was bad enough fighting one, but an army. Ugh.

They made it to the point where they could see the gate.

"Well thats the whole distance from the settlement, and we haven't seen the Marines." He took a deep breath and blew out.

"Maybe they went back to Atlantis?" Rodney suggested.

"Without telling us? No way." he said, shaking his head.

"They have to have run in to the creature." Teyla said, still feeling negative.

John still couldn't see that either, if it took out four Marines... it didn't fit. If that were the case they would have found blood, or their bodies, or something.

There is no other explanation for why they are not responding to us." she finished.

"If that thing took down four marines... It is one nasty bug-person." Rodney said.

"Dial us out." He said to Rodney, turning to look back towards the settlement.

"Right."Rodney pressed the first symbol. It sounded wrong, he was turning back to Rodney when he pressed it again, it still didn't lock.

"No." Rodney gasped, John had a sinking feeling. He watched as Rodney bent over and pulled off the cover to the DHD.

"What?" Ronon asked, looking annoyed still.

"No. no. no. no."

"Rodney?" he asked.

"The control crystals missing." He said, looking up at him, worry written across his face.

"We can't dial out?"

"Missing?!" Ronon and Teyla's voices mingled.

"Please tell me you can fix it."

"IT is not a matter of fixing it is just gone!" Rodney said, being his short tempered self.

"Someone removed it to prevent us from dialing out."

Shit. John felt deep down that going back was a bad idea, but if they were stuck here killing off the monsters was necessary. He took a deep breath, his headache had been fading the further he'd gotten from the monsters, he could no longer deny it there was more then one, and damn it. He really didn't want to go back.

He took a deep breath and reached out.

He fumbled through the darkness of his mind, he felt Teyla vaguely, he ignored her and reached passed, nothing, nothing, nothing. There, something... he couldn't get a good lock, but something was there. He opened his eyes.

"Maybe we could stay here." Rodney said.

"Stay here?" Ronon asked passing furiously. "No we have to go and kill it, and hunt down who ever took the crystal."

"Hey, Elizabeth will wonder why we haven't checked in." Rodney defended his idea.

"Then we can ask her to send a Jumper, and more back up."

"We don't know how long that will take." He said. His mind was made up they had to go kill the monsters, and get who ever he was vaguely sensing.

"We'll be safe here. The life-signs detector will let us know if anything comes near us." Teyla said, being unusually cowardly.

Wow, it had her running scared and she didn't even know there were more. John considered again, No. They need to know who was behind this, and get rid of those things.

"She's right. We can set up a... a... What do you call it?" Rodney said.

"A Perimeter." he offered.

"Yeah a Perimeter. Wait it out."

That plan was crap, there were enough, that he could sense, that he knew they would never be able to hold it.

"We're not leaving without those Marines." He said, that was his official reason and he was sticking with it.

"Lets go back to the settlement." He lead the way.

**Fifty Minutes Later**

They were back in the tunnel, his headache was back in full force, he couldn't get a better read on the other person yet, but he no longer had to focus to feel it, he could tell it was Wraith, but the mind was dimmed. He was having no trouble blocking it either, which was good.

They were back, hot on the tail of their little friend. The life-signs detector was still not showing them any of the others he was sensing, but they were getting closer to those too.

Suddenly his head snapped up, he could now read the thoughts of the other, it was Michael. He pulled his mind away. He now knew who it was, and it left him with a bad taste in his mouth.

Teyla had stopped as well. "Are you okay?" Ronon asked, having caught her when she swayed.

"I'm sensing something."

She paused, "It feels like a Wraith, but there is something different about it."

"Rodney do you see anything?" he asked.

Rodney looked at the life-signs detector. "No. No, I've still got just us and our little friend. Who is still on the move, heading... No."

"No, picking up another life sign. Just popped up out of nowhere." He turned the detector and showed them.

"How is that possible?" Ronon asked.

Teyla was still trying to get a better read on what she was sensing, he could feel her reaching out. He pulled his shield up, and locked down on his thoughts just in case.

"Maybe one of the eggs hatched?" Teyla put out, focusing on them again.

"Maybe."

"That or part of the settlement is shielded." Rodney said thinking.

"Maybe it's one of the Marines." Ronon said.

"If it is one of the Marines, that something Teyla's is feeling is head for him." he said. They set off walking fast.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

The life-signs detector was beeping loudly again.

"We're close." Rodney told them.

John didn't bother checking the vent that came out in the wall, nothing was there, he focused forward.

He heard Teyla step off to check a room, he turned around, In time to see the door slam shut.

He ran to the door, calling. "Teyla?!" he pounded on the door.

No response.

A vent opened, they all started coughing. Then they heard the roar of the creature.

He could hear over the roars, Teyla calling for them.

It charged, it caught John, and sent him flying in to the wall. He was seeing stars, where was it? He heard it howl in pain, as Ronon shot it. He shot at it, he heard Rodney start shooting, it screamed again. Then it fell to the floor.

The smoke cleared, it had only been released to disguise the monster's approach.

He stood up, the monster lay there, dead.

Rodney had been knocked to the floor, and was still sitting on his butt.

Ronon was the only one who had not been knock down.

John ignored it's body, he went back to the door, and pounded at it.

Ronon gestured for him to step aside. He did so. Ronon kicked the door.

It shuddered. Ronon stopped kicking it, and shot the door, once, twice, three times, it opened, to an empty room.

"Shit."

"Teyla. Respond?" He said, tapping his radio.

Nothing.

He looked to Rodney, who was tapping at the life-signs detector.

"I seeing two life-signs moving away from us, but one floor up, I think. That or more air shafts."

"Let's go." John ran for the stairs they'd come down.

"Wait!" He and Ronon stopped, Rodney caught up.

"They disappeared."

"What?" Ronon demanded.

"The life signs they just vanished. I was right, part of this settlement is shielded."

He and Ronon continued, running faster.

"Wait! No! We won't be able to track them." Rodney called after them.

**Fifteen Minutes Later**

"You need to aim for the stomach area. It seemed to be a soft and vulnerable. You were able to kill it when you hit it there before."

Ronon glared at Rodney. "I noticed that."

"Which way?" John asked cutting in.

"I don't know. It's not showing me anything. It's useless."

John couldn't hide his annoyance, he took a deep breath, he felt something coming from the left.

"This way." Ronon said, starting down to the left.

John was surprised, "Why?"

"Because."

"Okay." They went left.

**Another Fifteen Minutes Later**

They found a door.

When he tried to open it, he found it to be locked.

"Must be some sort of security locked down. Whoever took Teyla must have trigged it."

Rodney said.

"We got to open this up." He said. Who knows what Michael could be doing to Teyla.

"Stand back."

He and Rodney looked at Ronon, in time to take one step away from the door as Ronon shot at the door.

"Jeez! Easy Chewie!" some times Ronon was, well, Chewie.

"Mind giving us more heads-up there!" Rodney cried.

Ronon looked at the door, it was mostly undamaged. "Do you have any more C4?"

He nodded and set the charge.

Ronon, and Rodney waited around the corner, when he thought it was ready. He grabbed his pack, and jogged around the corner.

"All right, that's the last of the C4. So let's hope that enough. Ready?" They both nodded. "Good."

He pressed the detonator, it beeped and turned red. But there was no bang, Ronon and Rodney looked at him.

"What happened?" Rodney asked.

He shrugged and looked around the corner in time for it to explode.

"Jeez!" he sighed.

He looked back around the corner, the door was open.

"All right, let's go get Teyla."

As they passed through the door way, the life signs-detector beeped a lot.

"Whoa!" Rodney exclaimed.

Even as he asked, he knew. "What?"

"Serious energy spike."

"What does that mean?" Ronon asked.

"That we've entered the field." He told Ronon.

As Mckay answered. "We probably just enter the shielded section of the settlement."

John cocked his head, he was feeling a whole lot more of the Creatures than he'd been before. This wasn't good.

He saw lights starting to flash, Michael would know they were here. They needed to move fast.

**Five Minutes Later**

They were coming down some stairs, when he first saw them.

"Oh, my God!" Rodney said.

Two of the Marines, dead, from Iratus bug bites.

John sighed, they had died horribly. Knowing Michael was behind this was making him angry. Being angry was making it hard to block the bugs which in turn, made the anger grow. How could Michael make such things?!

He took a deep breath, and let it out. He was back in control of himself.

"Where are the others?" Ronon asked.

John pulled the tags off their bodies, Ronon looked around the corner.

"Sheppard. Over here."

He got up and head over. The others were there. Dumped in the hall like trash. He bit back his anger, and took their tags too, he closed Negley's eyes. Michael was going to pay.

Then they heard chittering, like from an Iratus bug.

"Did you hear that?" Ronon asked.

John got up, he could tell it was coming from the right.

"Oh... It sounds like bugs." Rodney groaned.

John headed that way. Where there were bugs, Michael was probably there, and if he wasn't. John was still going to kill all of those bugs.

"Come on." Ronon grabbed McKay.

Rodney was fitting with the life-signs detector. The beeping echoed loudly in the hall.

"Put that thing away. I thought you said it wouldn't work here anyway." he said trying not to snarl. It wasn't Rodney's fault he had a headache.

"I just... I thought I could re-calibrate it to take in to account the..."

A creature leapt, knocking Rodney to the ground. It roared in his face, he screamed. John was shooting, but all he was hitting was it's back. Ronon had a better shot at killing it, and he did so. Three hits to it's chest and stomach and it was dead.

The Creature collapsed.

"It's dead." he said. Why hadn't he noticed it? He'd almost got Rodney killed.

"You okay?" he asked, pulling Rodney to his feet.

"Yeah..." he said looking at the body. He picked up the life-signs detector, poked at it once more. "Got it!"

"Teyla's that way." He said pointing left. They ran that way.

"John! John!" he heard Teyla calling up the hall. He ran faster. He and Ronon made it there a the same time, Ronon shot the Iratus bug off her.

"Nice shot!" he said relived, it had sucked when it was him being fed upon, but his teammates. All he could say was that he was just happy to have gotten there in time.

"You okay?"

"Now that your here."

They started to uncuff her from the table.

"It's Michael. He's the doing this." she said.

"Michael?!" Rodney said.

"Yes, he escaped the planet."

"Where is he?" John asked, seriously.

"I don't know when he heard you, he took off."

"Okay we need to stop and think for a moment a come up with a plan." he said, charging after Michael would likely get them killed.

"The best plan is to kill him." Ronon said.

"Hey, wait a minute. He has the control crystal, and if we talk to him, we can find out if he has more labs and where they are."

"Maybe I should look at these workstations." Rodney said, ignoring that little disagreement.

"I might be able to tell you that, without Michael."

"We don't have that kind of time." Ronon said.

"Well I could stay here, and find out how many of those creatures he's created, where other labs are." Rodney said.

"Ok, fine. Teyla, stay here with Rodney, me and Ronon will find Michael. Rodney work on getting the shielding down, so we can use our radios." He said, turning to head out the door.

"But..."

"Rodney get the shield down it's that simple. Lets go." He and Ronon left the room.

He and ran down the hall following the turns, till they came to a split. John picked the side he thought he sensed Michael down.

"You go that way and I'll go the other." He said pointing Ronon down to the left, and he took the right.

"Hey, wait. Ronon, if you meet Michael set it to stun."

"Why!?"

"We are going to need to talk to him." He said, as angry as he was, he had to remember that they needed to get out of here, alive.

"NO! No, more talking, no more letting him slip through our fingers. No, I'm going to do what we should have done when we captured him. He needs to die, or we're going to keep paying for this one mistake."

"Ronon we need him alive to tell us where the crystal is." John said, it was this attitude that worried him, if Ronon was told about him, how would he respond? he feared Ronon would take it badly.

"John." Ronon said, clearly angry.

"Ronon if anyone is going to kill him it will be me! Are you clear on this?" He said firmly.

Ronon gave him a hard look, and set his gun to stun.

"Good." they set off their separate ways.

John had been running for maybe ten minutes, he thought he was close to Michael, but he was feeling a little turned around. Damn maze.

He jumped when Rodney hailed him over the radio.

"_Sheppard, you there?"_

_ "I guess you got the shielding down."_

"_Yep. Any luck finding Michael?"_

_ "Not really."_ He said. He was in an area that had almost no lighting, just him and his flashlight.

_ "Is the life signs detector working?"_

"_Oh... a yeah."_

He rolled his eyes, honestly sometimes.

"_Oh, my god."_

John winced that didn't sound good for them. _"What?"_

"_I'm reading a ton of life signs near you."_

He exhaled, he had been feeling more of the Creatures. And it made sense for Michael to unleash them on him and his team...

_ "Define a "Ton" and how "Near"?"_ he said, if he could get the drop on Michael they had a chance.

"_A few dozen, their all bunched up and maybe..."_ Rodney trailed off.

_ "Survivors maybe?"_ he said, trying to be optimistic.

Rodney and Teyla were silent over the radio for a minute. Then Rodney spoke again.

"_Well what ever they are some one just let them out, and their headed your way."_

He closed his eyes, he had thought maybe there were some survivors, but if they had been let out... They had to be the creatures he'd been feeling.

"Great." he opened his eyes, he would focus.

He could hear snarls, he waited. One came around the corner, it charged him, he killed it. He killed it's friend behind it. He backed down the hall.

"_Keep going, straight up the tunnel. Ronon should be around the corner."_

As he got closer he realized it wasn't Ronon. He pulled his nine mil, and waited.

"_Right now."_

Michael stepped out on Rodney's count, stunner raised.

_ "It's not Ronon."_ he told, Rodney and Teyla.

"_Is it one of the bugs?"_ came Rodney's slightly concerned voice came over the radio.

_ "No, it's Michael."_ silence came back to him.

"Colonel Sheppard." Michael greeted him.

"Michael." he said. Ignoring the stunner in his face like Michael was ignoring the nine mil.

"No offense, but I was kinda hoping never to see you again." he said.

"I had hoped just the opposite." Michael said, smiling a bit bloodthirstily.

He smiled, "Well you seen me, now give me the control crystal, and we'll leave."

"I don't think so."

"Or I can just kill you."

"Not if I stun you first."

True, did he want to test his theory? Not really, but he probably could take more then one stunner.

Then they heard a Creature in an air shaft, John stiffened. Shit.

"As much as I would love to catchup, and all that. I need that control crystal." he said.

"Extraordinary, aren't they?"

"I think their more gross then extraordinary, but..." he trailed off, one had jumped down in to the hall behind him. He could feel it, it was silent, but he could feel it.

"I thought you'd be impressed." Michael seemed almost disappointed.

"Not so much." He said, with a little smirk.

"After all, I merely am continuing the experiment that you started."

It was getting closer, but he still had time.

"What then? Take over the galaxy? Thats a little too Dr. Evil if you ask me."

"_Sheppard the Creatures are closing in on you very quickly. You need to move." _Rodney said, over the radio.

Thanks Rodney I already knew that. He took a deep breath not looking away from Michael.

_ "Rodney, you and Teyla get to the gate. Me and Ronon will meet you there."_

"_You sure?" _

_ "Yes, now go."_

"Michael, if you don't give me that control crystal I'm am going to kill you."

"I won't do that, Colonel."

The monster was very close now, he wanted to turn and look, but then Michael would shoot him. Damn it!

"Michael I will kill you." he said, he had to make a decision.

"I don't mind dying here, because you and everyone on your team will die today." Michael said.

The monster was too close, he had to act now.

He shot Michael three times, Michael only got a shot off, and it hit him. But he shook it off, he was tackled by the monster. He only barely managed to keep a hold of his gun. He fought to move, and kicked it back enough, to roll over.

He was trying to fight it off, it was trying to eat his face. He and the monster wrestled. He fought off the monster's hold on his hand with the gun and shot it five times in the stomach. It went limp, he shoved it off his self and was back on his feet. Michael lay there against the wall bleed, eyes wide.

John didn't know it, but his pupils had become slits, his eyes turning gold, almost metallic in color.

"What are you?"

John straighten from his crouch, blinking back the gold, turning them back to his normal hazel. "Does it matter?"

Michael laughed, and choked, and died.

John was searching his body for the crystal when Ronon ran up to him.

He found it, he'd shot through it. "Damn It!" He swore.

He stood, Two more creatures, were coming down the hall, where Michael had come from. Ronon shot them. Only one died, the other got up. He and Ronon ran for the door right near by them, they made it through, the bug that was still alive came after them.

He and Ronon shot another one, John didn't know it but Ronon thought he'd seem John's pupils become slits as they ran, killing bugs as they went. John was focusing with his instincts. He'd been bashed around enough today, and he was angry, enough of his men of had died today. It was becoming easier to just think and find the bug-men.

He wasn't sure when he mentally called for them, telling them where he was, all he wanted was all of them dead, he really, really wanted all of them dead. He didn't even realize what he was doing when four bugs jumped him and Ronon.

Ronon got one in the face right away, it died, but the other got the jump on him. John was being circled, he kinda came to himself he realized he was barring his teeth at them, he stopped, and blinked what was he doing? He shot them, both died. What had he been doing? Ronon screamed, trying to fight the last one off.

John dashed over and emptied the last of his clip in to it's head. Ronon bent over panting, "Thanks." Ronon straightened having picked up his gun. He looked at John strangely, "What's with your eyes?"

He blinked, "What do you mean?"

"ah, they were... never mind." Ronon figured it had been a trick of the light. Because after he'd blinked it had went away.

John reloaded. They ran some more, finally they made it to a three way, bug-men were coming from all three sides. They went back to back and killed all the ones they could see.

It went quiet.

"This is messed up." he said. Bug-people, really, it was something out of a movie. He was down to his last clip for the P-90 and he only had two more for his nine mil.

They ran to a door, ignoring the hordes of bug-people coming down the halls, trying to kill them. Ronon opened the door, while he fired his P-90 to keep them back. They were face to face with two more bug-people. Crap, he jumped back. Ronon didn't move fast enough, one of the two grabbed him, John shot his, but failed to kill it, his gun clicked empty, he backed away.

He dropped his P-90, and drew his nine mil, he shot it twice more, before it collapsed.

Ronon was fighting his, he shoved it far enough away, and grabbed his sword, he slashed down, cutting its arm off. Then he followed up with a slash that took it's head off, it collapsed bonelessly.

They both entered the dark room, slamming the door behind them.

He ran in looking for another door, when an eerily familiar voice spoke.

"Colonel is that you?"

He spun, a man stepped out of the shadows. He saw Carson Beckett standing there.

"Carson... what the Hell?"

"Took you bloody long enough. Eight months!"

He and Ronon exchanged looks, "Eight months?"

"Yes Eight bloody months stuck here with Michael! Haven't you been looking for me ever since Michael kidnapped me off the planet?"

"No not really." he said, this was very weird. Carson Beckett was dead, but here. Weird.

The door banged behind him. Bad time to talk.

He strode over and grabbed Carson's arm, and began to drag him away. "We can't really discuss this now, so lets save it for later."

"John!"

"Yes Ronon, I would love to talk about this, but we are being hunted. So save it!"

He kicked open the door, and lead the way, he shot the bug-person guarding the door and ran dragging Carson along with him down the hall.

They were at another cross tunnel, When he notice a latter going up the wall. "This must be where they got up."

"What?" Ronon asked.

"This way." he went over and started climbing. "We should get a chance to use the air shafts after all."

At the top he found he was at the surface, he cleared the way for Carson. Carson once clear, took deep breaths, "It's my first time on the surface where I'm not being moved."

"Thats nice..." he could feel bug-people on the surface. They were cut off from the gate for the moment.

Ronon was clear, and began shooting the bugs that were trying to follow him up.

He stopped, and looked around trying to get his barring.

"Do you see that?" He asked pointing.

John stopped scanning for movement and looked.

A Dart.

Good they might be able to get out of this yet.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ronon asked, grinning.

"Yeah, I can fly us out of here." He said, starting to run for the small craft.

"Well I was thinking we should blow it up, but your idea is better.

John was almost to the craft when a Creature jumped him, he shot it, but it cracked his head against the dart making him see stars. It made him angry, he found he was muttering to himself as he started the Dart. "Stupid thing. Kill me... ha! Take this Michael." Once he realized he was muttering, he stopped. What was he doing?

He shook his head to clear it, losing his temper now would not help.

He picked up Ronon, and Carson, and flew towards the gate. He found Teyla, and Rodney surrounded. He scooped them up, and started shooting the Bug-people. Take that! He grinned to himself.

He deliberately hunted down the bug-people he could find on the surface. Finally he could find no more to shoot at, as there had been less to find, and less to kill, and less to give him a headache, he'd calmed down. As he calmed down, all he could ask was why had he done that, rather then just leave?

He could come to no good conclusion, so he dialed the gate. Taking them to a safe planet to unload, and dial home.

As he dialed, he wonder how he should explain himself to his team.

**I'm going to end it there, because this chapter got away from me as it is. So see you next time.**

**Dark shadowed rose**


	7. Chapter 7 Bet On It

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, I don't own John, I don't own Stargate Atlantis. I don't own the episode Vengeance nor do I own any parts that I pull of The Kindred or The Kindred part two. I only own the bigger picture, and because it was my idea. But I don't get paid for it so I might as well own nothing.**

**This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible. So Kolya is still alive.**

**Chapter Seven song Bet On It from High School Musical 2**

**Ten weeks after his change.**

He'd re-materialized everyone, since his Wraith still wasn't good enough to let him figure out who was who. Rodney and Teyla were very surprised to see Carson, but he stopped them from really asking any questions.

"We need to get back to Atlantis before we talk about anything." Was all he'd said.

So they quieted their questions for later.

Rodney dialed, and he sent his IDC code through, then they walked home to Atlantis.

Elizabeth greeted them with a smile that faded, as she looked over their tired faces. As the gate shut down she realized they were missing some.

"Are you alright? Where are the Marines?" She asked clearly concerned.

He sighed, "They didn't make it."

"What?"

"We barely made it out our selves." Rodney put in.

That was when Elizabeth, noticed there was someone else standing there.

"Carson?!"

"Yeah, what can I say. It was a very strange mission." He said, as Elizabeth looked to him for answers.

**Four Hours Later**

He and his Team stood in the observation platform watching as Dr. Keller checked out Carson.

He and Ronon had briefed Elizabeth about how they'd found him, and about the basics of what had happened there on the planet, including Michael's death.

First she'd been surprised that he was still alive, and relived at his death, and then the horror of his project sunk in. The fact that he'd hinted at having more was terrifying.

He'd glossed over his using the dart to kill more of the Creatures. Over all they were more preoccupied by Michael's labs and Carson, so his team never really thought about it, Elizabeth had indicated they would talk later.

He knew they were tired and so was he, but there was no way any of them would sleep an till they knew who he was. He'd sound like the Carson they knew, he looked like him, but...

As Ronon put it, it was just weird.

"Are we sure he's not a Replicator?" He was afraid of finding out that person or friend down there, was something that would kill them all.

"Yes." Rodney said exasperated, "The scans would have picked up on that right away."

"Then who is he?"

"I don't know." Rodney said. "Look I'm as freaked out about this as you are."

"Do you think thats him?" he knew it was stupid; but the idea of Carson being back- meant he once again had someone who could tell him, if he was crazy, or just keep track of his changes. Not that Elizabeth hadn't been great in the weeks without Carson but she was no doctor, and she was very busy she couldn't keep track of him at all times.

She couldn't tell him what his actions at the planet had been caused by.

He really wasn't sure what to tell Elizabeth. Yeah, I sensed the bugs, and I think I kinda lost it, wasn't something he wanted to say, because he hadn't really lost it he'd just felt strange. Hell he didn't really know what had happened.

He was just pretty sure, he hadn't been himself.

Then there was Michael's question, what had he done to make Michael ask that or what had Michael seen?

Ugh. If he thought about it to much more he would go crazy.

Yes he'd changed, but what could he do?

He got out his nail clippers, he'd taken the last three or four weeks to carrying them around with him. Just trimming his nails at night wasn't keeping them as short as he'd like, it was becoming a nervous habit.

He clipped his nails short and put his clippers back in his pocket.

Carson or the Carson look-a-like smiled up at them.

"Just because he's not a robot doesn't mean he's still not Carson... It still leaves us with half a dozen other possible explanations."

John felt a little bad, he had tuned out Rodney's answer to his question. Oops.

"Like?"

John was amused by Ronon's need to hear a real answer.

"Well, like alternate timeline, parallel universe, cloning. Take your pick."

"Just another day in Pegasus." he said tiredly.

Teyla shook her head. "Some times it does not matter what I have seen, I just can't quite bring myself to believe what I'm seeing now."

"I hear ya." he said, shaking his head.

Keller came up the stairs, still clad in most of her hazmat suit, just the helmet missing.

"What did you find?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well, we've completed the first round of tests."

"And..." Rodney encouraged.

"Every test we've run says, that man down there is Dr. Carson Beckett."

**Next Morning**

After that revelation, they had gone to talk in the conference room. They hadn't come up with a plan or anything, they were going to wing it.

But before they went to talk to Carson, Elizabeth demanded they get a good nights sleep.

Or what was left of the night, it was close to three a.m.

So that morning when talking about who should go and talk to Carson they decided to draw straws. Rodney won, and got to go talk to the... well Carson.

Carson was pacing when Rodney walked in, the rest of them were watching on camera.

"Rodney." Carson smiled,

"Carson."

"Sorry I didn't come talk to you sooner, but Elizabeth wanted us to be well rested before we talked to you, must of thought we'd make more sense that way or something."

"Thats alright, I know how tough those Creatures were."

"So any word on when I'm going to get out and get back to work?"

Rodney hesitated. "That might take some time."

"Really, why?" Carson only seemed confused, not really angry, or upset.

"God! It's good to see you." Rodney said, still uncomfortable.

"Think about how I feel." They shook hands, then went in for a hug.

"I mean I was stuck with Michael for the last eight months." Carson sat down in one of the chairs.

Rodney asked about that, while sitting down with Carson. "Last eight months? How did he capture you?"

"Surely you remember?"

"Ah... Yeah just need you to fill us in on the details."

"Okay."

"Well you remember M8G-352, the planet it where we left Michael and the other converted Wraith."

"Yeah."

"Well despite daily injections, some of them including Michael began to revert. I think they used their telepathic abilities to call for another Wraith hive, but I'm not certain about that."

"All I know is I was being interrogated by Michael, and then he must have given me an injection because the next thing I know I'm on another planet."

"Why'd he take you prisoner?" Rodney asked unable to contain himself.

"To help with his hybrid research, of combining human and wraith DNA."

"Of course, I refused to help him."

"Then one day he brought a young lady to my cell, she couldn't have been a day over twenty."

"And he killed her in cold blood right in front of my eyes."

" He said for every day I refused to help him, he'd kill another just like her. I cooperated with him after that."

John felt bad for the kindly doctor, Carson must not have slept well for along time after that. He looked over Carson's bowed head, to look at Rodney. Rodney had sympathy written across his face. Of course they'd been captured often enough, that Rodney had been forced to work to try to save their lives.

"Carson I'm so sorry." Was all Rodney could say.

"It wasn't easy." Carson said sitting a little straighter, wiping at his face a little.

"I'll admit I wondered at times, and almost gave up. But then all I had to do was think about you and Colonel Sheppard, and Teyla, and everyone else looking for me, and it kept me going."

Apparently that was a little much for Rodney, he broke eye contact with Carson. Guilt written across his features.

He felt like he'd been punched in the gut, it brought home to him in that moment, how much it would have upset Rodney. To know that in his attempt to help rescue him from the machine's beam, he'd made in worse. If he knew how many nightmares John had had in the last weeks... Suddenly for the first time, hiding it didn't seem like such a burden.

"Yeah about that..."

"See, the thing is, we weren't."

"Weren't what?" Carson asked, confused.

"Well, looking for you, we didn't even know you were missing."

"Excuse me?"

John could see this was not going to go over well.

"We went back to M8G-352 and rescued you from Michael."

"What are you talking about?!" Carson cried, standing to his feet.

Rodney stood up as well. "I mean he got away and all, but you were brought back to Atlantis safe and sound."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he said more levelly.

"Obviously, not you-you, but another Carson Beckett."

"Is this a joke?" he asked weakly.

"No, but I wish it was."

He sat back down abruptly. "Your telling me there is another Carson Beckett walking around this base?"

"No, not any more."

"Rodney!"

"He came back from the planet, he went back to work. Everything went back to normal."

"Then just last month, he was killed in an explosion."

"To us, you weren't missing. Carson, you were dead."

He stood up and paced some more. "Rodney," he said quietly, "Please give me some time to think on this."

"Sure, Carson."

**An Hour Later**

He and Elizabeth headed for her office to discuss what they had just learned.

"This is really weird."

"Tell me about it." Elizabeth said. "I was just getting used to him being gone, then here he is again."

"Yeah."

"John, do you think he's what he seems?"

"Yes, and no. I want to trust him because his name is Carson, but he was in Michael's complex. Speaking of which, when are we going to go and clear it out?"

"I was thinking tomorrow."

He nodded, here was his chance. "Elizabeth well we were at the complex, I felt different. I wasn't quite myself."

She leaned forward over her desk. "What do you mean?"

"Well...

A knock on the doorway stopped them, Dr. Keller stood in the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt, but I thought I should tell you right away. I think that this Dr. Beckett is a clone."

They stared at her, she blushed a little.

"Sorry. Do either of you know what a telomere is?"

"It's part of a human chromosome right?"

She looked at him surprised, then shook it off. "Yes. Each time a cell divides the chromosome is torn apart and rebuilt, and in the process, a small amount of the telomere is used up. As a result, telomeres become shorter over time. The more they age the shorter they get."

"And?" he prompted.

"According to my scans his telomeres are thirty precent shorter then they should be for a man of his age. The only explanation is that the original DNA came from an adult cell, one where the telomeres had already started to degrade."

"Making this Carson Beckett a clone?" Elizabeth said.

"Yes."

"Well, that clears that up." He said, smiling.

Both of them got up, to go tell everyone.

**Four Hours Later**

"So how did Carson take it?" He asked, sitting down at the table with Rodney.

"Not very well I'm afraid."

"Well thats not too surprising, who would take get told you're a clone well?"

"True." Rodney took a bite and seem to be thinking. "Of course, he might feel a little better if we trusted him enough to take him back with us."

He sighed, "I'll talk to Elizabeth about it."

"Thank you."

Rodney had finished eating, so he got up and left.

Leaving John to ask himself, why he felt like he'd been used.

**Next Day Back Under the Taranan Settlement**

He could tell he'd killed a lot of the Creature's with his killing spree in the dart. He only had a small headache, and so far they'd found two more shielded areas. Michael hadn't been kidding when he'd told John they would all die, without the dart they defiantly would have died. Because as it was, with over thirty men, grenades, and more ammo. They still were having trouble killing them.

He'd convinced Elizabeth to let them take Carson, in exchange, he owed her. He hadn't liked the deal, but he took it anyway.

He was leading the expedition, he found now that he wasn't under as much stress, it was easier to keep his cool head. Which made him feel a little better, at least he wasn't a loose canon.

Every team of eight or two teams put together had a life-signs detector which had worked well. They only had real five injuries, and only one was bad enough for the man to pull back to the gate.

At the two hour check in, Weir was glad to hear it was going so well, and the hurt guy went through back to Atlantis.

Finally after five hours of hunting down every life sign they could find, it was clear. Rodney and Carson went to work downloading the research, translating it, and all that.

It was pretty boring, for him and Lorne but they managed.

Just when Rodney thought he, and Carson were almost done, Carson fainted.

He rushed over, while Rodney rolled him over to check his pulse. "He's still alive, he just passed out."

"Well, people don't just faint for no reason, Lorne help me carry him, we're taking him back to Atlantis."

They carried him through the tunnels, heaved him up the rope, and ran him through the gate.

**Two Hours Later**

John came in with Rodney and Ronon, they'd been called by Dr. Keller to the infirmary.

"After he collapsed, I ran scan, and found evidence of necrosis in several of his internal organs. His cells aren't renewing fast enough to sustain tissue function."

"Why?" Elizabeth asked.

Dr. Keller adjusted the oxygen mask over his face.

"I can only assume it's a complication, because of the fact he's a clone."

They all looked to the man in the bed.

"I've started him on a course to try and stimulate cell growth, but the bottom line is I can't help him."

"What do you mean?" He asked, how long was she talking here. They just got Carson back, and now he's gonna die. He wished she was kidding, but as he looked at the sick man on the bed, he knew she wasn't.

"On the outside, he looks fine, but on the inside he's a very sick man."

He looked again, she was right, his color was still good, there weren't any other signs. So why had he agreed with her? He sniffed, it smelled like hospital air, but he thought he smelled something from Carson. Weird. He'd chalk it up to his recent changes.

He went back to try to talk with Elizabeth about his actions on the planet that were not in the report. All the other times they'd started to talk about it, only to be interrupted every time. He was starting to feel a little frustrated. Seriously, was five minutes uninterrupted with Elizabeth that hard to come by?

He knocked, she looked up. "Come in, maybe this time you'll be allowed to finish what you've been trying to tell me."

He grimaced, she laughed a little.

Half an hour later she wasn't laughing.

"So other than feeling vicious towards the creatures, you didn't really do any thing else did you?"

"No, well mostly. At one point I kinda mentally told them where I was, but it was more like I challenged them, then called." he offered weakly.

Elizabeth rested her head on her hands.

"General O'Neill warned me." she mumbled.

"What was that?" He said, if not for his hearing being better then human, he never would have understood that.

"He told me you get in to trouble, but I never guessed how much."

He shrugged.

She sat up, "John I'm too tired, you're still too worried about the word Wraith being applied to you. We will talk about this once Carson's better."

He nodded, and left her office.

**(Three Days Later...And Week Eleven since John's Change)**

They'd come to the conclusion that if they were going to save Carson, they had to put him in a stasis pod. To give them, him, and the research team more time.

He'd been hard to convince, but they'd done it.

So now they stood waiting in the stasis room, Rodney and Zelenka had prepped the pod all they needed was Carson himself.

An aid wheeled him in, it was sad to see the man usually pushing the chair, in one. It hurt John to see his friend, looking so pale, and to hear his breath wheeze.

Keller stepped over and grabbed his arm to help him up. Elizabeth joined her, Carson smiled a little at them.

"Thank you, loves." he leaned a little heavier on them.

"Listen, Carson we'll cure this, we'll work it out. I've got a whole team on it." Keller said.

"Carson, we'll have you out of there in months. We promise." Elizabeth said, strongly.

He smiled a little, he looked over them. "As long as you swear not to leave me there for years."

As one, all of them swore.

"Good enough for me." he smiled again.

They help him over to the pod, and gotten him standing.

"Carson I'll see you soon, and maybe you can take me fishing." Rodney said trying to be cheerful.

John winced, he knew Rodney had felt badly about that day, but for him to volunteer. Not that he didn't have his own regrets, but he brushed them off, locked them deep in his mind. He almost never had nightmares except for the recent Wraith ones, and he rarely saw Dr. Heightmeyer.

"You'll be back with us soon." Elizabeth, said touching his arm.

"Yeah, Carson you'll be back to yell at me for showing up hurt again." He smiled a little, but it slid off his face, this was a little too close to saying good bye.

"Yes, Carson you'll be back among us soon. Teyla said, seriously.

Ronon stood quietly in the back round, Carson took time to smile at him. Ronon nodded before looking away, smelling of salt.

"I left a letter for my mother, it's just some thoughts... but please send it to her."

Elizabeth nodded.

"Thank you Elizabeth."

Carson leaned back in to the pod clearly fading.

"Right, now Carson you shouldn't feel anything other than a cool burst when it first starts. We will be watching your life signs, on that machine over there twenty four/seven." Rodney chattered, trying to make Carson feel better.

But Carson knew how to deal with his nervous chatter.

"Thank you Rodney."

Rodney stopped trying to talk, and looked at Carson sadly. Before blinking, and shaking his head a little.

"You should know, what ever happens, seeing you has been worth it." Carson said, looking over them.

"You know..." Rodney said trying not to think on the likely chance they wouldn't be able to bring him out of it. "I was toying with trying to program dreams in to it. Would you be interested?"

Carson laughed weakly. "No, Rodney. Just put me in, and work on getting me out."

Rodney nodded.

As Rodney went to push the buttons, that would put Carson in to stasis.

John called, "See you soon."

And Carson was in stasis.

After a moment, Rodney spoke. "Well thats that. He walked hurriedly from the room, but not before John caught the faint smell of salt.

Keller wiped at her checks, "Yeah, the soon I get back to the lab, the soon he gets out of there. She and the aids left, along with Zelenka, and Ronon.

It was just him and Elizabeth left. They both looked over Carson's frozen face.

"Walk me to my office, Colonel." Elizabeth turning away.

He looked at her confused, and remembered. The time to decide what they would do next had come.

"Okay. So..." Elizabeth rubbed her temples, and signed.

"Look, I'll wait to tell Keller, till the IOA approves her as your next chief of medicine. But I can't tell you how uneasy it makes me, to know only you know." He felt frustrated they'd been going around in circles over this.

"So tell your team."

"And explain to Ronon I'm part Wraith, and tell Rodney it's his fault. No thanks." He could see it. Yeah, hey. Ronon, I just wanted to tell you I heal uber fast, like a Wraith. And, Yeah Rodney next time you see me in the grasp of some weird machine leave me there, because this time you messed up.

"You could just tell Teyla."

"I'd rather not, if I tell any of my team, I tell them all."

Elizabeth nodded, even if it frustrated her, it was something to respect.

They were silent.

"You could still lock me up." He offered.

She signed, "John I have even less reason to lock you up now, then I did at the beginning of all of this."

"But..."

"No, your actions on the planet, are completely excusable, John. People," she added at his look, "normal people sometimes lose it like that."

"But thats my point I didn't lose it, I … I was lead by instincts that weren't mine."

"John, she said sadly, she cleared her throat. "But they are... you may not want them, but they are now."

"Elizabeth I'm sure one day my..." He wasn't able to stop his flinch. "My new instincts will not be a good thing." He was desperately afraid he would one day need to feed, that was what haunted his dreams, feeding...

"IF. If that day comes we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Elizabeth said firmly.

"Elizabeth..."

"John we have a plan for the short term, we will deal with it as it comes. You're dismissed."

He saluted her, and left. Afraid that something would happen, this was a bad plan.


	8. Chapter 8 Tomorrow

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer I don't own, John, Elizabeth, or anyone else. Yet. My Original **

**Characters will show up at some point. Beware. I also don't own the episodes First Strike and Adrift. I did pull bits of the script so if it seems familiar you know why.**

**This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible. So Kolya is still alive.**

**Chapter Eight song Tomorrow by SR-71**

**(Thirteen and a half weeks into John's change)**

He shot up in bed, heart pounding. He hated that dream, it seemed so normal. Till he got to the part of looking in the mirror to shave. To see his face, only it looked like a Wraiths', got to him every time. He was hard pressed to say which dream was worse, the one where he ate everyone, or the one where he was normal till he looked in the mirror.

He looked over at the clock, four forty. Great. At least he seemed to do fine on less sleep now, no one knew that at least three times a week he woke up at odd hours, and didn't go back to sleep till that night.

What did he have to do to day?

Performance evaluations.

Ugh.

If he'd thought he could sleep, he would have rolled over. That was so not worth getting up for.

**1:05**

There he was done. Finally, he looked up at the clock on the wall. Damn. It had only taken him all morning, and then some. And he'd missed lunch. Damn. He sighed, at least that was done. He could go check on Ronon's training with some of the Marines... Nah, he'd turn this in first. He jogged over to her office, only to hear Rodney complaining about his Performance evaluations. Ha! He was done.

He straightened his face, and went in.

"All done." he said, standing at attention.

"That was quick." Elizabeth said with a little smirk at Rodney.

He grinned at Rodney. Who rolled his eyes.

Then Elizabeth started over them. "John, you gave almost everyone Excellent and above average. Except three guys?"

"Yeah, well those three have caused some problems as you know, and everyone, even they are above average."

"Can I do that?" Rodney asked looking down at his computer.

"No."

Rodney shoulders sank.

"Elizabeth everyone in my department except those three, have been amazing. And you know it." He could tell she was exasperated.

"Yes, but who has really stood out among all of them?"

"The ones I gave 'Excellent'." he said cheekily.

Chuck poked his head in. "Ma'am?"

"Yes Chuck?"

"The Apollo just came out of hyperspace."

"Thank you."

She sighed. "Rodney do them, I know you hate the administrative part of your job, but you still have to do it."

"And John, you still cheated."

He followed her out in to the control room, ignoring her comment.

"Their ahead of schedule." Elizabeth said.

"Probably trying to show off. New ship and all," he said.

Elizabeth nodded, reaching up to tap her radio. _"Colonel Ellis, you've made good time for your first trip."_

"_Thank you, I'm beaming down now."_

"_Very well. We'll meet..."_

Ellis cut her off, by arriving. Col. Ellis looked around, then sent his four people to the conference room.

John got a bad feeling, the kind that hung over you, making you nervous.

"Doctor." he nodded at Elizabeth.

She in turn, nodded back. "Colonel, welcome." They shook hands, he looked over Elizabeth's shoulder. "Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay. They nodded, and said their pleasantries.

"This is going to make things easier. I need to brief you immediately."

John didn't like him, and with the next words out of his mouth it got worse. His gut said this guy was going to make it a lot worse, before it got better.

"I'm here to make a problem go away."

"What's going on?" Elizabeth asked, concerned.

"I'd prefer to talk in private." he said with a paranoid look around the control room.

John knew the type, and it never failed to irk him, when people did that paranoid thing.

They headed in to the conference room. They got comfortable and the doors shut behind them. Col. Ellis stayed standing, in the position of control.

They were handed a brief, he flipped through it well Ellis talked. When Ellis got to the part about 'ships' his bad feeling plummeted, in to the deepest, darkest depths of bad.

"Why weren't we told sooner?" he said, his day just got better. Replicator' ships. Great.

"I'm telling you now." Col. Ellis said.

Jerk, that didn't answer the question.

Rodney panicked, predictable. "If their coming for us we need a plan, something for the shield. Another ZPM, a plan."

"Relax Dr. McKay. They're not going to get here." Ellis said a little smugly.

"I'm here to inform you that in precisely twelve hours, we on the Apollo, in consort with your team, will launch a surgical strike against the Replicator home world to destroy those ships."

Confident much? Nah. Yeah he knew this was not a great plan, but them having the ships wasn't good either. "So you're going to blow up their ships?"

"That is the plan." Ellis said, wondering where he was going with this.

"Just like that?" Elizabeth put in.

"Just like that." he confirmed.

"How in the hell do you plan on doing that?" Rodney said, his disbelieve coming through.

"A set of Mark-9 tactical nukes, housed in a custom made weapons platform code named Horizon."

Big guns. They might do it.

"Just wondering. How many nukes do you have?"

"The Horizon carries six nukes and four decoys." Ellis continued, pointing at McKay. "I'm going to need you to do a final inspection before we leave."

At least Ellis was honest, that they wouldn't get a second shot.

"Six?" McKay jumped in.

He had to agree, "That's not gonna to be enough." he could just see it, they pissed them off, and they came back with more ships to blow up Atlantis. Not that if they didn't attack first, they wouldn't do it with these ships.

"They are Replicators. The Replicators are self-replicating robots, which means that they can..." Rodney was building up quite the head of steam.

Rodney had just made an enemy, he could tell from the annoyed look and dry tone of his response.

"But they aren't like Milky way Replicators. Their ships aren't built from nanocells. They are construed from real materials that can be destroyed."

"Six will be more then enough for now," Col. Ellis said finally.

"For now?" Rodney gestured wildly, "Look isn't this like poking a sleeping Dragon?"

"Why don't we just wait till Area 51 finishes the PWARWs?" he said looking up at Ellis.

Rodney kinda had a point, but letting them finish the ships, bothered him. It was like letting your enemy have time to grab a gun to shoot you with.

"Which one is that again?" Weir asked.

"Planetary-Wide Anti-Replicator-Weapons," he answered, without looking at her. God that was a mouth full.

"Look, the Asgard were capable of making a satellite that could wipe out a whole planet of Replicators. Sure, we've had trouble making one of our own, but we'll get there." Rodney said.

"Look, would I rather take out the entire planet? Yes. But if we wait there's no guarantee that they won't get us first." "The IOA wants something to be done, and if this works we will be safer, for a little while."

"The Replicators know where Earth is, and if they take you out there isn't much standing between us and them. We must take action. These new ships will let them get to Earth, sitting on our hands is not an option!"

John could tell Ellis felt this was the right move, and he wanted to agree but attacking first and in a strike that would not wipe them out... it didn't seem like a good move.

"This mission will destroy the ships, and buy us time. We'll come back when the new weapon is ready and finish the job. Doctor, I'm gonna need your inspections done as soon as possible."

"Well, yeah, sure. I just..."

"Dr. McKay is ready to beam." Ellis said in to his radio.

He didn't like him. But it was funny to hear McKay's squawk, but the Colonel was being so bossy. He looked at Elizabeth, he could tell she too realized they had no say in this.

"Okay." Ellis went on. "We're finished here. Thank you." he grabbed the briefs and left the room. Leaving him and Elizabeth alone.

After a moment in silence, Elizabeth spoke. "Can you believe this?"

"No." Men like that made him glad they'd said nothing of his change, he'd never tell Elizabeth, but the feeling was there.

But the mission, as un-ideal as it was, it was a sound plan. Made not a good plan, but one they wouldn't be able to stop. "I mean, it sounds too good to be true."

Elizabeth spun towards him. "What?"

"Well the whole, they won't retaliate thing doesn't ring true. They have a gate and everything."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrow, "And we have a shield."

"And since we won back the city we haven't heard so much as a peep from them," she continued.

"Yeah, but they didn't leave, their still there... waiting," he said.

"I don't like breaking this silent truce." she said.

"And I get that. But I don't like them having those ships." he sighed. "I know we will likely disagree, but this might be the only course of action."

"We could talk to them." she said, stubbornly.

He looked at her.

"Fine, but for the record when this goes south, I reserve the right to say 'I told you so'."

He nodded, it was fair enough.

**(Next Morning)**

"Hey!" he called.

Elizabeth stopped and looked at him, "Oh, hey your self."

"Col. Ellis, has asked me to join the mission."

Elizabeth turned to start up the stairs again, "I know."

"I'm suppose to stay behind in a cloaked jumper to see how much damage is done and if they hit all the targets like they want," he waited to see what she'd say, he'd heard how she had done her best to stop the mission. Diplomat until the end, and all.

"I know this too," she said, wondering where he was going.

"Look I know you called Mr. Woolsey and General O'Neill trying to stop this..." He exhaled, following her to her office. "I know this probably is not the best plan, but do you really want to wait to see what they do with those ships?"

"No, but..." she trailed off, "Good luck."

He looked at her, she was sincere in her wish that it went well, and she was also sure this was the wrong course to take. He felt his mouth quirk, there was a reason he respected this women.

He nodded and left, he joined the people for departure for the Apollo, a twenty four hour trip to the planet, then the fireworks would start.

**Over the Replicator Planet**

He sat waiting in the jumper for his queue, kinda boring really, till he thought about Replicators.

He heard Rodney confirm detonation, and waited.

"_Col. Sheppard you have go for launch,"_ Ellis told him over the radio.

_ "Copy that,"_ he started the jumper up, and exited the hanger, setting the jumper to cloak. _"I'm clear, you can go."_

"_Very well, pick you up in an hour,"_ came over his radio.

**(Twenty Six Hours Later)**

He stood in the door waiting for the verdict, he was pretty sure they'd done it, even as Radek and Rodney argued. Ellis was not use to the arguments, and the whole 'we're ninety nine percent sure', he usually got from them.

"Look, if this data is right, then all of your primaries and most of your secondaries are gone." Rodney said, zooming in to show Ellis.

"Excellent," Ellis said, still miffed he'd had not just been told that from the start. He left at that point to go look for Elizabeth, to tell her how it had gone and such.

He found her once again on the stairs coming from the gate room going to the control room. "Welcome back," she greeted.

"Thanks," he moved to meet her on the landing.

"I hear congratulations are in order."

"You heard right." he said, she was being formal.

Teyla came up the stairs, "How was the mission?" she asked looking from his face to Elizabeth's. "Was it a success?" she stood on the landing with them, Ronon followed her.

"Well, we did get all the ships," he said.

"Wish I could have been there," Ronon said, bloodthirsty as ever.

He grinned. "Space battles are a lot more exciting on TV then in real life."

Chuck called to them, from in the control room. "Dr. Weir, Col. Sheppard your gonna want to see this."

They as a group headed over.

"We've got a contact, it just dropped out of hyperspace," Chuck told them as they reached the console he was standing by.

"Is it broad casting IFF?" Elizabeth asked, well he leaned closer to look at the small thing.

"No, Ma'am."

"Wraith?" Ronon asked.

"No, it's way too small," Chuck said, shaking his head.

"Raise the shield." Elizabeth order, worry clear in her face and tone.

"Hey, it's taking up a geosynchronous orbit above the city," Chuck said, leaning close to the monitor.

"What is it?" Teyla asked.

"Let's ask the Apollo to check it out," he suggested.

"Tell the Colonel he needs to get back to his ship," Elizabeth said, worried.

He and Ronon headed back to the conference room.

"Col. Ellis," he said, running in to the room.

"What is it Col. Sheppard?" he asked, looking up from the scans of the damage done.

"We have an unknown ship in geosynchronous orbit above the city, we need you to check it out."

Ellis nodded and tapped his com, _"Apollo I need transport immediately." _He was beamed up in a flash of light.

John headed back with Rodney and Ronon to the control room to wait for the Apollo to tell them what it was.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

"_Okay, I got a visual. It looks like some kind of satellite..."_

They waited for more.

"_It's a Stargate."_

They looked at each other, why would someone send a Stargate to them? And for what purposes?

"_What do you mean a Stargate?" _Rodney demanded.

"_A Stargate, you know a big round thing?"_ Ellis shot back.

_ "I thought you said it was a satellite?"_ he questioned.

"_It is, it's a satellite with a Stargate in the center."_

"What is the purpose of that?" Teyla asked softly looking at Rodney.

"No idea."

John's sinking feeling was back in spades, nothing good could come of this.

"_It just activated."_ Ellis told them over the com.

"The gate?" he questioned hoping to be wrong. He never got an answer. He listened to Chuck tell them the obvious, the weapon was coming for them. He sighed deeply, damn Elizabeth for being right, because this had to be the Replicators revenge.

The city shook, alarms on consoles began beeping, he was glad Elizabeth had ordered the shield up as soon as it appeared.

"It's a sustained beam," Chuck yelled.

He looked to Rodney, "That is bad for a dozen different reasons," Rodney said, before leaning down to type away at his computer.

"_It's protected by a shield." _Ellis told them, before demanding to know more.

"The shield it taking it's power from the beam, I registered a slight drop in output when you fire upon it."

"_Could I get a nuke passed it's shields?"_

"_No, probably not."_

"I'll get in the chair and give it everything we've got," he said, looking at Rodney.

"No! I said 'slight' meaning point two zero drop, it would take a hell of a lot more then we've got to destroy it."

"_What do we do?"_ Ellis questioned.

"We stand down and let me think, that is what we do. Look the shield is holding, we have time, just give me ten minutes and I will get back to all of you on what we can do."

"McKay, it's shooting at us," Ronon said.

"Yes, and the shield is holding."

**Twelve Minutes Later**

He thought Rodney's 'hope so' summed up the situation perfectly. Because if it wasn't the Replicators who the hell could do this?

But then Weir throwing Ellis's words back in his face that was something that was just perfect. Especially since he could tell Ellis knew it to, even if he agreed negotiations would be pointless at this point, Weir was his CO, and she was right, shooting first got them here.

He looked at Ellis, that man knew he'd just been handed a dressing down and was distinctly annoyed, "Even though I agree negotiations won't go well, you shouldn't tell her that." He left hands in his pockets, leaving Ellis to think by himself.

He stood waiting, well Rodney got ready to transmit. Finally Rodney said, "I think I've got it." He stepped back, and told them "They're responding to transmission."

Amazingly enough Oberoth was the one standing there.

"Oberoth?" Elizabeth said, surprise clear in her voice.

"Dr. Weir." Oberoth returned.

"I must say I'm surprised to see you."

"Each of us exist within the collective and can be replicated many times," he said.

"You need to disable your weapon immediately."

"That is not possible," he said.

"We had no choice but to attack you, you were building an armada, you were a threat."

"And now so are you."

"That assault was just the tip of the spear. We hoped it would bring you to your senses. If you don't stop we will be forced to launch an all-out attack."

"Really? Why have you waited?" Oberoth asked.

"The annihilation of your people is not our goal. Ideally we would like for peace to exist between us, but we will not wait for you to build weapons to destroy us."

"Interesting. We feel the same way."

"Perhaps you need to be reminded that ever time we have fought, you have come off the worse for it, we have won every time."

"Elizabeth, they are attempting to upload a virus on the com bandwidth, I've stopped it for now but..." Rodney told her loudly.

"Shut it down."

The TV went back to fuzzy blackness and Elizabeth stood there disappointed. "Well that went well," she said to herself.

"Yeah he's always been one of my favorites," Rodney said dryly.

"Well, you tried," he said, pretending that it hadn't gone like he'd expected.

"What are we going to do if the gate doesn't shut down at the end of Thirty-eight minute cycle?" Elizabeth asked Rodney.

"Look, if they are able to maintain the energy beam's intensity, which I'm they will..."

"How long till our shields give out?"

"Just twenty-nine hours," Rodney said, downheartedly.

**Forty Five Minutes Later**

He and Ellis exited the room, it frustrated him to know they were stuck, the Apollo had been damaged and wasn't fit for battle, he couldn't just shoot it out of the sky. Nothing, nada, zip, he could do. It didn't help Ellis had tried to pull the normal military crap, and tried to undermine Elizabeth, he meant what he had said, he didn't want to be boss, because then no one would keep him in line, it would be all on his head.

He stood, thinking hard, well hoping Rodney had a plan.

"We were throwing some ideas back and forth." Rodney stood gesturing to Zelenka, before modifying his statement, "Well, he was throwing them forth and I was throwing them back. But while he was droning on about some idea that might have worked, I suddenly realized that this city has encountered similar problems before."

"So I..."

Ellis interrupted, "I don't need the history of your idea, Doctor. I'll let that be a surprise when I read your autobiography. Just tell me your plan."

He really didn't like Ellis much, Rodney in situations like this usually had a reason for what he was telling you. And well he had been known to be rude to Rodney, that was just mean. He could tell Teyla and Weir felt the same way, Teyla in particular didn't like Ellis she had a frown on her face as she looked away.

"We submerge it."

Well at least Rodney knew how to get to the point.

"I'm sorry?" Ellis said, confusion clear.

"We submerge the city," Rodney said the 'are you an idiot' left unsaid.

He hadn't been paying attention to Weir, so her question caught he off guard.

"I thought you said we couldn't submerge the city."

"That was two years ago, before the Ancients came and activated a number of new systems. See..." Radek was cut off by Rodney.

"The how is complicated, but I think it is now possible. Look it's not a permanent solution..."

"But it might buy us enough time to come up with one." he said thinking ahead, it made sense, that was how the Ancients got away. "Hmm."

"Exactly!" Rodney enthused.

"How much time?" Ronon asked.

"Some, maybe as much as a week."

"I don't understand. Why?" Ellis said, sound un-enthused by the idea of buying time.

"You see the history part would have made that much clearer." Rodney said, getting even with Ellis."Had you been a little more patient I would have painted a lovely clear picture for..."

"McKay!" he said, as much fun as this was now was not the time, and making Ellis hate him, would not help him the future.

"Ten thousand years ago, the Ancient's en-countered a race they could not defeat, the Wraith came, and held them under siege, so they sunk the city to dissipate the weapon's energy blasts in the water as well as save it for future generations."

"This way the shield held, and if we do the same, we also will last much longer. So, now, we submerge the city." Rodney finished with a flourish.

"We are not sure how much the beam will be affected, but we believe it would give us time." Radek said more cautiously.

"But there is a chance it might not work at all." Radek continued.

"A small chance."

"But it could happen."

"There is no way to know for sure yes, but that is no reason to not try."

Rodney and Radek bickered, finally Elizabeth stepped in,"Gentleman."

They stopped and looked for approval, of their plan.

"All right, get it done." Ellis said.

Rodney laughed, "I don't think thats your call."

"Worst-case scenario, we lose some power from the ZPM right?" Elizabeth asked, thinking hard.

John winced, she was asking Rodney 'king negatived', there was no way that was worst-case scenario.

"Oh, no, worst case scenario is we both read the numbers wrong and lose a ton of power, and the city doesn't sink at all. Look as much as I hate to say it Zelenka is not infallible."

Rodney said.

John was amused by the Czech's almost offended look at Rodney, before looking back at Weir.

"Do it."

**Five Hours Later, Two Since The City Was Sunk**

He stood, staring up at the beam where it was hitting the shield, Teyla and Ronon with him.

Ronon broke the silence, "I need the learn some science."

what? Random much? "Why?" was all he voiced.

"I'm not all that good for stuff like this. If we get into a fight or need to break out of somewhere, or you know, kill someone, I'm your guy, but a laser attacking the city I don't know what to do."

"Thats why we're a team, like the Fantastic Four." That wasn't the best comparison he could think of, but it was the first. He knew what Ronon meant, he wasn't much use either, nothing to fly, nothing to shoot, and he didn't know enough advanced science to help there. He felt like he was letting the city down, he stared down at the ocean floor.

Then he noticed them looking at him, "It's a comic book, where superheroes fight crime and save the world and all. See, I'd be Mister Fantastic. Ronon would be the Thing. McKay would be the Human Torch. You would be the Invisible Women." He nodded at Teyla, the one standing next to him. He pondered whether his change made him the Thing or not, Teyla distracted him from his thoughts.

"I'm am not invisible."

Her coldness was weird, then he remembered some of what she'd said the very first time they met. " No, no, your not and I don't mean McKay's on fire, I was just trying to make a point."

Ronon's amused face was annoying.

"Then how come you get to be Mr. Fantastic?" Teyla demanded.

"Because he was the leader, and I am..." Damn Ronon's laughing face, Teyla was taking it very seriously.

"I'm just saying they were cool team and we're a cool team, and they used their strengths to, and well, you know..." Some times, he just wanted to sigh, they seemed to do this to him on purpose.

"Look, I'll go see how McKay is doing." he left, he vaguely thought about waiting to see what they'd say after he left, but figured he didn't want to know.

He jogged down the stairs, his mind wondering, what would they do? what could they do? He made it to the lab, the silence worried him, if they weren't arguing, it was because they'd didn't know what to do next.

"Shouldn't you two be bickering over something?" he asked, looking over them. Zelenka was sitting slumped over, McKay was fiddling with his computer, well staring at the wall.

"We have nothing to bicker about, he's run out of bad ideas. Finally." McKay said, looking up.

"If we survive this, I'm putting in for a transfer." Zelenka muttered, glaring.

"Please! We both know that you've done some of your best work under me." Rodney laughed.

"Under you?! Zelenka sneered, I'm my own department head, you know."

"Please! We both know that department is a joke."

John sighed, now was not the time, he knew Zelenka actually thought of Rodney as a friend, but sometimes Rodney got to him.

"What are you..."

He interrupted Zelenka, "Why don't you guys just make out, and get over it, already?"

They both stared at him. He continued, "We have what... A day to figure out a way to destroy or get away from the stupid satellite, and all you can bicker about is who works for who? Come on, we're all counting on you."

"Every possible scenario we have come up with ends in failure." Zelenka said, not even straightening at the fighting words he'd said. "There is nowhere on the face of this planet it cannot find us."

He listened, well Radek talked. And at the end of the sentence, it hit him, this wasn't just a city, it was a flying city, and space worthy city at that. He turned to Rodney to see if they could do it, and as soon as he turned, and saw Rodney's face, he knew Rodney realized it too.

"You think?"

"No."

"Is the old girl too banged up?" He was worried if Rodney said yes, they would be in a world of hurt.

"No, the Replicators fixed all the damage we did with the drones. We just don't have the power."

"Yeah, but ideally..." Rodney was thinking hard, he could see that, now if only they could get more power.

"It'd be the only way."

"What?" Radek wasn't following.

Power, Power, Power, every time there was a problem and they had a fix, they didn't have enough power. Wait... "The Drilling platform." He said. "It is working down there? Isn't?"

"Close enough, but we wouldn't be able to bring it with us."

"Bring it where?" Radek said plaintively.

"We don't need to, we just need enough to get going." he said, still ignoring Radek.

"You're on to something here." They ran out of the room heading for the control room to find out about the power they'd need and to talk to Elizabeth. They completely ignored Radek calling after them.

**Seven Hours Later**

His and Rodney's first plan had been changed, but they still had a chance, it just rested all on him. He would have been just a little worried normally, but he hadn't tried to use the chair since his change, he had this little wiggling fear, that he might be rejected from the chair.

He and Rodney arrived in the chair room, he felt a little bad, he hadn't listened to a word on the way up here, but Rodney wasn't mad, so he hadn't notice or he hadn't cared, most likely the first.

"How's Lorne doing?"

"He's making good time, he should be here within twenty minutes." Rodney said tapping away, and checking with the tech in the room.

He couldn't stop staring at the chair, he almost felt like it might bite him, silly, but the feeling was there.

Rodney finally glanced up at him, he smiled a little trying to seem confident, but the expression on his face felt stiff, so he tried again. "I guess it's time to get moving," that was even weaker.

"Are you sure you can do this?"

"Fly the city?

Rodney got sarcastic, "What else could I possible be talking about?"

"I flew a V-22 Osprey once." he remembered that, it felt awful, jerky, rough, and now that he thought about it, it felt a lot like that shuttle he flew.

"Was it as big as a city?" Rodney said skeptical.

"Well, you had to use your hands and feet with that one. With this one, you just have to sit down and think 'fly'," and that wasn't why he hesitated.

"Okay, why don't you just sit down in the chair and run your preflight check."

John worked up his courage, and walked over, took the step up, turned and sat down. He ignored his knees as they wobbled, he could do this, he was glad no one noticed his less then graceful sit.

He sat back and waited.

It activated.

He silently exhaled, relief filling him, Atlantis wouldn't give him away. Rodney turned back, "Oh, I'm going to go to the control room, and Zelenka will monitor power output from the ZPM Room."

He nodded, waiting for Rodney to say what he really wanted to.

"And good luck."

"You, too." Rodney smiled, and left. John leaned further in the the chair, he closed his eyes and asked the city for what he need to know.

He opened his eyes a while later when Lorne started talking, finally it was his turn.

"_Sheppard, are you ready?" _McKay asked.

He grinned a little, the city seemed happy to leave._ "Ready as I'll ever be." _He hadn't noticed before now, but he almost could feel the city, it, she had a personality, she didn't talk really, but she was there ready to help and obey. He closed his eyes.

He knew some of the members with the natural gene had mentioned some times they felt someone, but when they looked no one was there, hell he'd felt it himself, but this feeling, of feeling someone else's feelings was new, he'd sat in the chair before, but never felt this.

If this was a side effect of his change it was cool, they all at some point called the city a person or he'd talked like it was one, even Elizabeth had done it, but now he knew. He couldn't wait to tell Elizabeth.

He felt the city rising, she, the city was trying to rise faster like he wanted, they need speed, and she was trying to give it to him.

He felt the moment the beam stopped hitting them, she jumped, no longer fighting the beam. He told her fast, higher, we must be gone by the time it is through the asteroid.

They broke surface, she kept going, trying.

He told the city, the city, she jumped, they left the waters grasp, the were fight to gain height. Higher, faster, come on.

He pleaded, she tried, but they didn't have the power. He felt the city's desperation, she was trying.

_ "Rodney, I don't have enough power."_ he said, jerking his eyes open.

"_What are you doing wrong?"_

_ "Sure, thats great, blame me. We don't have enough power, I said that already."_

"_Oh, sure, blame me!"_

_ "She's not going high enough, we need more."_

"_I have no more power to give!"_

He listened to Elizabeth's idea, it would do, the city said so. _"Turn it back on at Eighteen thousand feet. We just need a boost, right?" _

Rodney whispered, 'that might just work' was good to hear.

He leaned his head back and focused, the shield went down, she, the city with the boost of power, leapt in to the air like she was meant to, she was a thing of beauty.

They'd done it.

The few moments of peace were over, they started to raise the shield, John could feel it going up.

Then a moment before it closed, she was grazed by the beam, he was concerned, the city hurt, then brushed it off, telling him they would be fine, they could go on.

He told them in the control room he was taking them in to hyperspace. His beautiful city opened the window and entered.

Then she pushed him out with a 'I will take it from here, go' pushy thing.

_ "We did it." _exhilaration fill him.

_ "Hey! McKay? Elizabeth?"_

McKay's panicked voice filtered in over the com, _"I need a medical team to the control room stat! Multiple injuries!"_

He leapt out of the chair, that damn graze! He ran all the way to the control room, when he arrived the first thing he saw was a tech sitting on the glass covered ground having her bleeding cut examined. He walked in slower now, all the windows had shattered, the pieces of glass crunched under his feet.

Then he saw Elizabeth on a a backboard, "Keller, what happened?"

"The beam grazed the tower and blew out all the windows, and threw Elizabeth... Adams! That guy just has a cut, tell him to put pressure on it, and move on. We have people hurt much worse."

John noted the aide nodding, and leaving the gaze untied. He focused on Keller and Elizabeth again.

"Elizabeth? Is she gonna to be okay?"

"I don't know yet, she took an awful fall, her pupils are sluggish, I need to get her under a scanner. I'll know more in a bit." she jogged along side the gurney, and out of the room.

He turned, and ran up the stairs. He saw consoles sparking, then he turned and saw Ronon siting against a wall blood streaming down his shirt.

"My god! Are you okay?"

Ronon looked at him, "Yeah, I've had worse."

John looked at the eight inches of glass he could see sticking out of his shoulder, "How come no one's helping you?"

"I told them I didn't need any help, other people are hurt worse."

John could tell Ronon was hurting bad, his friend would have been up and moving if he really was fine. Stupid him, he should have raised the shield faster, he... damn. Not now John, he told himself. "I seriously doubt that. Adams! Get over here and get him to the infirmary." the man nodded and helped Ronon up and down the stairs.

He went over to where he could see Rodney work tiny cuts glistening on his face, Teyla was there too. "You guys good?"

"All things considered..." Rodney said not looking up.

"How bad is the damage?"

"Minimal. I think." Rodney told him, ducking when a console behind him sparked. "I was able to get the shield up fairly quickly. The shield protected us the rest of the way."

John turned surveilling the wrecked room, glass on every surface, blood splattered in places.

Then the alarms began blaring, Atlantis shuttered.

"Rodney what's happening?" Teyla asked, bracing her self.

He stood ignoring the moan of 'what now' from Rodney, waiting for an answer, hoping he was wrong.

"We just dropped out of hyperspace."

"Have we already reached M12-578?" Teyla asked.

"No. it would have still been several hours. The hyper drive just shut down." Rodney tapped away, looking for answers.

"Why?" he asked, hoping McKay could and would fix it.

"I don't get it."

"Get it back up," he knew staying in space would not be good for their power problems.

"I just said I don't know what's wrong, Rodney said, glaring at him. I can't fix it if I don't know what to fix."

"Where are we?" Teyla asked, hope to calm them both.

"The middle of nowhere. There are no planets, no moons, no Stargates."

"How much power do we have?" if they had enough power, they might get close to a planet and land there.

"This can't be right."

That didn't sound good for them or Atlantis. "How much?"

"At current consumption rate just enough for twenty four hours. Then we won't have a shield and with no shield, no air, and no air..."

"Can we use the Stargate?" Teyla interrupted.

"No, we need a point of origin, and we are in the middle of nowhere."

Their day just got better and better.

The last forty five minutes had been crazy, they found out the conduits were leaking power, and as Rodney put it, they were bleeding out.

He hated to think so negatively, he normally preferred to leave that to Rodney, but with Elizabeth hurt, he need to know what Rodney was doing, keep it balanced, which meant he had to tell Rodney how bad Elizabeth was, it was just the two of them running Atlantis.

He went over to where Rodney was working, "Hey, Rodney, you've been making a lot of decisions without me. Now I don't want to interfere with what your doing, but with Elizabeth hurt, it's just us, and I need to know."

"I'm sorry. It's just we've been under the gun here. Things move fast."

"I know that, but if you tell me what your doing, while you do it, it would help a lot."

"Your right... Sorry, I'll try to tell you what's going on."

"Thanks, thats all I needed to hear."

"Okay. Okay, well, I'll give you the Coles Notes

"What?"

"Uh, the Cliff Notes?"

"Why didn't you say that in the first place?"

"Look, never mind. Look as we were leaving Lantea, we were brushed by the laser, and it cracked some of the main conduits."

"So? Can't you reroute power?"

"No, what part of 'main' did you not get?" Rodney shook his head. "There for, to keep the shield up, the city forces more power into the conduits, so enough power reaches the end of the line."

"And thats bad?"

"No. thats what saved us, it just means we are using more power then normal.

"Which is why we are trying to shut down the systems we don't need, right?"

"Yes! So we should have all of those systems shut down soon, and from there we can come up with a new plan to save the city, and ourselves."

John nodded, "Okay."

They went to watch the teams progress, and they just sat down when, the alarms began beeping.

"What?" Rodney yelled to Chuck.

"The city's outer building just started to decompress, and are shutting down the artificial gravity."

Teyla followed them over,"Why would the city do such a thing?"

"It's going to collapse the shield, it's trying to save power." Rodney said.

"We have guys over there."

"I know, I'm trying to slow it down."

John tapped his Radio, _"All teams fall back to the tower, now!" _He got a variety of yes sirs, but none of the men out there, were out of the proverbial woods yet.

"_Matthews, fall back to the tower, move fast!"_

"_Sir we're not done yet?"_

"_It doesn't matter, the shields collapsing."_

Rodney zoomed in on them, they were the farthest out team, most of the rest had made it to safety, but Matthews had a ways to go.

"Come on, come on, come on."Rodney chanted.

Teyla saw it coming, as did he, but she said it. "They will not make it."

"Rodney stop it, stop it from doing this."

"The city decided the shield needs to be smaller to maintain, I can't stop it, but I can try to slow it."

"Rodney, override it!"

"I can't if I stop it completely, it could fail all together."

They waited, watching the little red dots, but the shield caught up to them and they blinked out, one by one.

"Damn it!"

Teyla lowered her head and Rodney stared it stunned shock.

He walked away. He went and stood in Elizabeth's office, staring at her desk, her empty desk.

Half an hour later Rodney came to talk to him, "Any word on how she's doing?"

He sighed a little, "She's still in the OR. So there's no real news."

"Listen, I think we should collapse the shield to just around the tower."

"But, then we'll be exposed to space."

"Yeah, I know but it will conserve power and buy us more time. I have been so busy with the power problem that I haven't even had time to work on how to save us, if we do this we'll have time, if we don't..."

"All right, check with Zelenka, and make sure all the teams are a counted for."

"I've done all that already, we were just waiting for the green light."

He looked at Rodney, glad he hadn't need to tell him anything, glad that Rodney was prepared. "All right, consider your plan green lighted."

Rodney gave the cue, and the dozen or so techs jump to obey him. They really had just been waiting for him, he was glad Rodney was listening when he said he needed to be in the loop.

John head down to the OR for a little bit of news on Elizabeth, the little he found out only made his heart sink. He need Elizabeth, she was his link to sanity about his change, he really wished he'd gotten up the nerve to tell Teyla now.

He headed back up Teyla with him, Ronon was sleeping his pain meds off, they reached the gate room, he had people sweeping up the glass and doing general clean up it was nice not to be walking on glass.

Mckay spotted them, "Ahh! I've got some good news. One I've been able to calculate our position. And two..."

Teyla interrupted, "Does that mean we can use the Stargate?"

"Sadly, no. To activate the Stargate we require that we stay within a fairly small area of space. We're moving too fast to use it."

"Could we use the sublights to slow us down?"

"Well that would be great if they we're working, but sublight and navigation are out."

"And you put this in the good new category?" he said, following McKay up the stairs.

"Hey, at least we're not lost anymore, right? Number two there is nothing wrong with our hyperdrives."

"Then why did we fall out of hyperspace prematurely?" Teyla asked reasonably."

"The damaged Power conduits. We have plenty of gas in the tank, so to speak, but we couldn't get it to reach the engine. Stalled out."

Damn, it always came back to that, "So if we repair the conduits we can jump back in to hyperspace?"

"That is the idea, yes. I mean, we wouldn't be able to repair them completely, but enough to make it the rest of the way. Look, Zelenka and his team are working on it as fast as they can, but the problem is we're still losing power."

"Even with all the reductions?" Teyla questioned.

"Yes, even with all of them we're still bleeding out," Rodney pulled up a display. "Look, we need at least this much power to make the jump to hyperspace," he pointed to a line, there was some green above it but not much. "We have maybe an hour before we will have lost too much power to make the jump. If it reaches below that line we will be stuck. We'll have maybe thirty hours before the shields fail, and we all die in the vacuum of space. "

Peachy, at least he now knew his mostly likely method of death.

**Five Hours After Elizabeth Was Hurt**

He headed down to the OR hoping to hear the latest on Elizabeth.

He wondered in, the lights were dimmed for those trying to sleep, but he didn't really notice the difference. He headed over for Ronon's bed, not seeing Keller anywhere.

Ronon rolled over to look at him. He looked his mostly alert face, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. They got all the glass out."

"Good."

"You need me anywhere?"

"No, just here, getting better."

"All right, well, I'm good to go."

He smirked at that, Ronon, in his own way, was trying to cheer him up, the idea of the guy who had just had eight inches of glass pulled out of his shoulder, trying to make him feel better was funny. His smirk died, when Keller in scrubs, turned the corner, and called to him with the bad news face.

He walked over and waited.

**Chapter's over folks it was running away with me and I had to break free. **


	9. Chapter 9 What I've Done

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer I don't own, John, Elizabeth, or anyone else. Yet. My Original ****Characters will show up at some point. Beware. I also don't own the episodes Adrift and Lifeline. I did pull bits of the script so if it seems familiar you know why.**

**This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible. So Kolya is still alive.**

**Chapter Nine song What I've Done by Linkin Park**

**(Fourteen weeks and two hours into his change)**

John stood staring at the unconscious Elizabeth on screen, she looked like she was only sleeping, how could she not just wake up?

Brain damage.

The words ghosted across his mind, but what did that mean for Atlantis in the long run? Atlantis without Elizabeth... What did he know about brain damage?

Not much... just stories he'd heard, things on Tv, nothing solid.

Damn it Elizabeth. How could you get... why did you stand... Guilt was not helping him or Elizabeth.

Deep breath, calm, find his center, his feelings could be dealt with later. For now they still needed to land, and reach Earth before he worried about Elizabeth, and her job, and who he answered to.

Brain damage.

Damn it! What was he suppose to do if the one who ordered him not to report himself didn't remember it? Hell he would be in soooo much trouble if anyone found out now.

Teyla, Ronon, Rodney all would be hurt and upset with him for not telling them sooner. Anyone else would report him, and he'd spend the rest of his days in area 51. He was screwed and knew it. His soul was damned, if not for what he was, then for all the lies he'd ever told, the lives he sacrificed. Damned... he needed to be level headed and in the control room, here not freaking. He rubbed his eyes, trying to ignore the wetness.

Another deep breath.

"_Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay. Please report to the control room immediately!"_

He sighed, the job never ended. He jogged back to the control room, by the time he arrived, he was calm and focused, but he did notice Rodney was just getting there as well, a tech called them over.

He looked at the projected course for Atlantis and could see it was headed for some weird line, wall thing, that he thought looked like an astroid field.

"What is that?" he asked hoping to be wrong.

"An asteroid belt?" Rodney asked disbelieving.

"And sublights are still off line aren't they?"

"Yeah." Rodney said.

"So we need to expand the shield."

"But we don't have the power!"

"Rodney, if we don't it's going to shred us. Look, how long till we get there? And how long will it take to get through?" he asked the tech, who called for him and Rodney.

"We have about ten minutes till we get there and maybe two minutes through it."

"Two minutes to get through an asteroid field?"

"Well we're not really going through it, we're just going to skim the edge." He typed away and got the screen to rotate the asteroid field, so they could see where they would be skimming.

"You can't hold the shield for two minutes?" he directed the question to Rodney.

"No, we really don't have the power, not if we are going to make that jump the rest the way." he said, shaking his head.

"Rodney... give me options."

"Look, Zelenka will finish the patching in forty minutes or so, if we raise the shield for even a minute the power level will fall too low and we will be stuck here!"

"Okay, I got that the shield isn't an option, I need other ones."

"How big are they?"

"Well we are in the middle of a pretty big solar system fight now, so the asteroid field is probably made up of failed early planets. So, aah... building size and larger."

"I could use the chair, and clear a path using the drones."

"Good idea, except... You couldn't, the chair room is outside of the shield right now. Look, we could... hun... No, that wouldn't work. Uh, no, not that either. Ahh, no way..."

He tuned out McKay's mumbles, if he could use the chair, the shield was out... wait the jumpers had drones, and they could get to those. "How many people still here have the gene?"

"Twenty or so. Look, no. Wait, no, no, no, that is a bad idea."

"You have a better one?"

"Yes."

He shook his head, of course Rodney didn't like his plan, he hated flying the jumpers. No clue what was wrong with him, but...

"I do, I just need time."

"And that is the one thing we don't have. You, he said speaking to one of the tech's he didn't know, contact everyone with the gene tell them to meet me in the jumper bay."

She nodded, he ignored Rodney heading for the stairs.

**Fifteen Minutes Later**

He hated bad plans. He waited for the first spoken complaint, it came like he expected it would.

"You've done the simulations right?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"It's almost the same thing. Look, I know most of you don't have a lot of experience but if McKay can do it, you'll be able."

Then Rodney spoke up from behind him, "Yeah, about that..."

"Look, we have to, because in three minutes, Atlantis is going through the asteroid belt and she needs a path or she'll start looking like swiss cheese." He looked over the assembled crowd, mostly scientists, a few doctors, and only three military guys including himself, not perfect, but it would do,

"Move out."

He climbed in his jumper, number one. He stared up and once he was ready he spoke over the radio. _"All right. I've loaded flight plans and formations in for you."_

_ "Stay in your designated positions, and take out anything in your path."_

_ "All of you have a full load of drones, so ammo shouldn't be a problem."_

"_It's like the old video game asteroids." _Rodney said.

_ "If that works for you."_

"_I was terrible, I think I actually scored zero once." _Rodney told him, restrained panic in his voice.

_ "Well then there's only one way to go, and thats up." _He was just glad Rodney couldn't see his wince.

_ "All right, everyone. Let's go. Open the jumper bay doors," _He told the control room.

He looked at the screen a minute till they reached the asteroid field, but their line was drifting. _"Come on you guys, stay in formation."_

The line slowly straightened, _"See thats not so hard, now is it?"_

Teyla started count down for being in range, _"Jumpers you be in range in... Three. Two. One."_

At one he gave the order, _"Fire at will."_

He fired off his own, and watch as asteroids shrank on screen. _"Nice shooting you guys."_

Then Rodney panicked, _"There's too many of them and they're coming too fast! We can't __get them all!"_

_ "Rodney, keep a cool head, we knew that! People now that you've got a feel for it, try firing doubles. Four apiece." _He was shooting as fast and as many as he could, but he'd done this before and under pressure.

Rodney kept whining anyway. _"I can't control four at the same time."_

_ "Just focus and stop whining!" S_ome times Rodney was just a pain in the ass, friend or not, if he focused as much energy on shooting as he did whining he could be as good as him.

"_Damn it!" _Rodney swore over the radio.

_ "Don't worry about it I got it," _and he had, he was firing as fast as the ship could reload, he might have to worry about ammo after all. _"Remember Rodney we can't get absolutely everything in one pass."_ he said this, watching a car sized piece float passed him.

They cleared the field.

"_Well, now what?"_ Rodney asked over the radio.

_ "On my mark, you, Bolton, and Levine are going to break formation and head back to the city stay with it. Shoot stuff that is car sized and bigger, the rest of us are going to do another sweep."_

"_Oh, that sounds important like something someone else should do."_

_ "Rodney now."_

"_Oh, fine it's not my fault if chunks of the city should happen to get ripped apart."_ Rodney mumbled.

_ "Break!" _he said ignoring the dooms day stuff, Rodney could complain all he likes he was one of the more accurate ones.

Finally the city was through, and seemed to be mostly in one piece. He lead the rest of the jumpers back, and they landed safely in the tower once again.

Rodney once again was bubbling about how they might live, and how glad he was that it worked. When once again they were both summoned to the control room.

He grinned wirily at Rodney's "Aww, Come on!" it was the story of their lives as leaders in Atlantis.

He and Rodney jogged down the steps, well the others talked over what they'd just done.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, reaching the floor, looking towards Teyla.

"The hyperdrive is offline." she said, turning to them.

"I thought it was close to being good to go."

"It was, but one of the larger impacts of an asteroid, damaged a control array that was needed working to use the hyperdrive." Radek told him. "We can't jump till it's fixed."

Damn it. Could nothing go right?

He almost smacked Rodney for what he said next, "I told you I was no good at asteroids." Damn it Rodney, it was probably not even one near you so don't take all the credit. He rubbed his eyes, "What do we have to do to fix?"

**Twenty Minutes Later**

Stupid suits. Slow stupid suits. He hated walking in these, slow, stupid... Things! And when ever he was in one, he always had a time limit, but they were so slow!

He and Radek were close to being able to start the fast slow walk to the damaged conduit when Rodney hailed him about Weir.

_ "You want to what?"_

"_Reactive her nanites."_

_ "That is a terrible, terrible idea."_

"_What? I'd reprogram them."_

He sighed, he was doing a lot of that today. He knew activating the nanites was a risk to the city, even if they were reprogramed, he also knew the nanites being active would be a personal nightmare to Elizabeth when they woke her up and told her what they'd done to save her life.

_ "No."_

"_But, John we're losing her here. Keller and her team have done every thing they can. If I reprogram the nanites to help repair her body without trying to take over her brain, then..."_

_ "Thats a big if."_

"_I'm fairly confident I can reprogram them to do only what we want."_

_ "Fairly confident? What if they come back online and start to communicating to the other replicators? The last thing we need is them showing up right now."_

"_Are you listening? I said I could do it."_

_ "Rodney will Elizabeth thank you for this?"_

"_But she will be fine, she won't die."_

_ "I am not having this conversation with you. I want to save Elizabeth as much as anyone, but her running around with active nanites is not a good thing, not for her or for the city, and if you think for one moment she would want this..." _he cleared his throat.

_ "Come on Radek."_

They left in the transporter, they reached the level they needed to be on and started walking. After a minute, Radek spoke over the radio, _"That was the right call by the way."_

_"I hope so."_

They walk a little more, before Radek made an observation. _"I am acutely quite surprised, the damage seems minimal."_

John turned the corner ahead of him and disagreed, _"I beg to differ."_

"_Oh my."_ They came out in to what use to be a hall, only now it was a balcony with no railings. They stepped out in to the light, the outside they could now see, looked very banged up, and way across the gap, he could see the start of the hall on the other side.

_ "Let me guess, the control array is on the other side?"_

"_I am afraid so."_

_ "Great."_

Then they heard a zipping noise, they turned to see two new holes in the wall.

_ "What the hell was that?"_

"_Micro-asteroids." _

_ "Right." _lovely, he'd almost forgotten about those._ "All right, the only way I see across here is to jump."_

"_But there is no way I can jump a hundred feet." _Radek said, doubt clear in his voice.

_"We're in space remember? We can do it."_

_ "Okay, I'm going to hook you up with the tether, okay?"_ he tightened it.

_ "Then I'm going to demagnetize your boots." _he flipped the switch, Zelenka rose in the air, and bumped helmets with him. He grabbed his suit, holding tightly.

_"Then I'm going to throw you."_

"_Wait, what? What?!"_

_ "Then I'm going to demag my boots before the tether catches."_

_ "Your inertia should take both of us over the hole and into the rest of the hall."_

_ "It'll be a cinch."_

"_But what if you miss?"_

_ "I won't miss, Doc."_

_ "Ready. Set Go." _he threw him, he immediately reached for his switch, he hit it a second later and leaped.

It was cool... a slow flying drift.

Radek hit the wall, he turned and grinned, John smiled back.

Then hit the magnetize button, Radek sank down to the ground, he hit his own, and he was back on solid ground.

"_That was completely... Amazing!"_

_"Let's focus Doc, we're on a schedule."_

"_oh. Right."_

Radek grabbed the case of tools off his back and opened the control array panel, he began pulling damaged crystals out, letting them float above him well he worked.

They'd been there almost ten minutes when Radek spoke, _"I'm sorry this is taking longer then expected, but these gloves make it so much harder to hold the crystals."_

Then a small micro-asteroid zipped passed them, they both turned to see a new small hole in the wall, it missed their air tanks by inches. _"That was close." _John said looking at Radek, _"Lets finish up a little faster Doc."_

"_Agreed." _Radek turned back to work. He continued walking and talking, _"We still have four minutes, so plenty of time."_

"_Right."_ then another micro-asteroid struck.

John heard it coming, and turned in time to see it go straight through Radek's leg. Zelenka groaned, falling back. He reached out to stead him, _"Radek! You okay?"_

They both looked down at his leg, little droplets of blood leaked out, floating in space.

_ "Radek you have a hole in your leg, how much does it hurt?"_

"_I don't really feel it."_ John could have guessed that, judging by the slightly dazed look.

_"Your in shock."_

_ "I need to get you back."_

"_There's a hole in my suit."_

_ "Yes, and I dialed up the pressure so you'll be okay. ok. I'm calling for a jumper."_

"_No I'm almost done, I can finish it."_

_ "Tell me what to do."_

"_No it's to complicated for that."_

_ "Zelenka your bleeding, and in shock, I don't think you should stay."_

The Czech shoved him off, and turned to go back to work._ "I'll finish it, then you can get me to the OR."_

_ "Ok."_

It went against his better judgement but the city need the repairs, if everyone was going to make it.

**Two Minutes Later**

"_I'm on the last adjustments." _Radek said, panting heavily.

_ "Your doing great Doc, the jumper will be here soon. Then we'll get you on the good stuff."_

Another micro-asteroid zipped over their heads.

Radek twitched.

_ "Your almost done, don't worry about the little rock bullets."_

Radek snorted, _"There I've finished."_

_ "Control room, this is Sheppard. As soon as we're in the shield make the hyperspace jump."_

Teyla answered him, _"I'm sorry, John, we cannot."_

_ "Why not? Zelenka finished repairs."_

"_Yes but we've just dropped below the line, we no longer have enough power."_

He stared at Zelenka, who stared back at him. It really couldn't get worse, could it? Today was reaching for number one of his worst days ever.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

Radek was on the his way on a bed, he was feeling pretty faint from blood lose, But he was going to be okay.

He followed him down to the infirmary, when Ronon saw both of them, he waved. He turned to join Ronon.

"Is he going to be okay?" Ronon asked about Radek.

"Yeah he should be okay, it didn't hit any arteries."

"Then he got lucky."

"No, I wouldn't say that. He's still here stuck with the rest of us."

"So it is true."

"Yeah, get the damn thing fixed and we still can't go any where." he was tried, he'd been up more then twenty nine hours at this point, and enough things had happen in it to take up a week. He was running low, he hadn't eaten more then power bars in most of that time. "Twenty eight hours till the shields fail." he sighed running a hand over his face.

"So what's the plan?"

"I don't know I need to find and talk to Rodney, then maybe we'll come up with something."

"Oh, he's in there." Ronon told him pointing to Elizabeth's room.

"What?" John had a sneaking suspicion, Rodney had disobeyed him. Because Rodney didn't handle sick, and hurt, and dying people well. He turned around, heading for the door when Dr. Keller and Rodney walked out.

"Hey." he really, really, really, hoped his feeling was wrong. But when the guilty looks appeared he knew.

"I heard we didn't get the array fixed in time." Rodney said not meeting his eyes.

"What were you doing in there?"

"Look, she was dying, okay?"

"Rodney." he'd better not be saying, what he thought he was saying.

"Look, her heart was weak, her nervous system was fried."

"What did you do?" he was trying to keep his temper in check, he wouldn't punch Rodney, he wouldn't punch Rodney.

Rodney looked to Keller for help, she looked back at him helplessly. "I reactivated her nanites."

"Damn it MCKAY!" he shouted.

"Look, you were busy! It was life or death. If I didn't act..."

"Yes! She would have died. I know!" he wasn't going to pound his face in, he wasn't. Damn it! He almost wanted to laugh at the irony, at one point he said: she didn't know how it felt to not trust yourself, well now she did. What was he suppose to do?

"Okay, I know what your thinking," At that he almost hit him, the idiot had no idea what he was thinking. He had no idea what he'd sentenced her to, because with this she'd never get to stay, she'd be sent to area 51 to the fate he'd so far avoided. The bastard!

"But helping Elizabeth is not putting the city at risk."

"You reactivated the Replicator nanites."

"They're harmless. Look, I am one hundred percent sure they can't harm Elizabeth or try to take her over, nor contact the Replicators!"

"Rodney, there is no way you know that for sure."

"Yes, Yes I can."

"Shut them down." he wasn't killing Elizabeth, he... he was saving her from herself and everyone else.

"But... That would kill her." Rodney's look of disbelief proved it he really didn't know what would happen, if they told Earth what had happened. He really thought he'd saved Elizabeth and well he'd saved her life, her probably an unnaturally long life, but she wouldn't get to stay, not here in Atlantis.

"What do you think Elizabeth would want?"

"Do you think she would want this?" he got in his face.

"Yes, she would. She'd sure as hell do the same for you."

That was almost a slap in the face, while she would do the best to save his life or anyones, this, this was just cruel. "Rodney you clearly didn't know her very well then."

"Well maybe thats true, but when she wakes up, you can ask her, and when she tells you other wise..."

"No, Rodney she won't, you need to shut her down right now."

"But?!"

"No, Rodney! Leaving her is too dangerous, you have to shut her down now!"

Rodney looked at him disbelievingly, "No, no, I won't."

He wouldn't punch him, he wouldn't. But he wanted to, really, really wanted to. He was unable to stop himself from leaning forward like he would, he clenched his jaw and got right in Rodney's face. Rodney just looked at him, he honestly thought he'd done the right thing. He'd get a security team up here, _"Meyers. Bring a security team up to the  
OR with an EMP generator."_

McKay scoffed, "Would you please listen to what I'm saying?"

John went to respond, when he heard some disturbance from the room, he was already turning when the nurse that was in the room said "Dr. Keller!"

He finished turning, and opened the door.

Only to see Elizabeth sitting up, and pulling the Bandages off her perviously saved head. "John?" she questioned. "Rodney."

"What's going on?"

Fuck.

He looked to Rodney, and Keller they'd done this, they could answer for it.

He stood looking at them, waiting for them to answer, Keller broke first. "You were hurt badly..." she trailed off uncertain.

Rodney picked up where she left off, "We had to reprogram your nanites to heal you."

Elizabeth didn't take it well, "You What!?"

"We did it to save you," Keller said nervously.

"And You agreed to this?" Elizabeth demanded angrily of John.

"Hell NO!"

Her shoulder sank a little, but she looked at him relived, "Good." She said it quietly, so quietly he was sure the others, not even Ronon heard it.

He nodded, _"Security team, leave the EMP behind and come ready for guard duty."_

"Everyone Out!" he herded everyone out and shut the door. He turned to her, she looked at him lost. "Is this how you felt?"

He nodded, "Probably."

She bowed her head, he smelled salt, then she mumbled. "Why didn't you stop them?"

"I tried, but I had gone to the edge of the city with Radek to try and fix something, so I wasn't here."

She raised her head, wiping tear tracks away.

"God, I'm sorry."

She nodded, "It's funny to think how circumstances can change so fast, isn't it?"

"Funny is not the word I'd use."

She snorted, "Make sure I'm not contagious, Please?"

He nodded, "Sure," he felt embarrassed, his eyes were wet. "God, life sucks."

She nodded not in full control of herself, he knew he should leave and get her in full quarantine, but he couldn't just leave her. He went and stood in front of her, "John what are you...?"

He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her down into Athosian head touch, she resisted for a moment before relaxing.

He turned and left without another word.

He'd been cleared, he was not infected by nanites, so he went and stood watching the soundless camera feed in the hall, well they checked Elizabeth over, in full hazmat suits.

"The quarantine is pointless."

He ignored Rodney, he still wanted to hit him when ever he looked at him.

"Well, it doesn't matter, I'm still going to wait for a second opinion."

His guys stood out side the doors, they at least followed orders.

"Okay, this is stupid."

Yes, yes you are, he said in his head. Punching him still wouldn't help, even if it would make him feel better.

"What is?"

"Us fighting."

He still didn't turn to look at him.

"Look, I know your not happy with me and maybe you have some cause, but us fighting now isn't going to help, we still are likely to die in the next day or so."

"We need to work together, and find a way to save the city, so..."Rodney trailed off.

He still couldn't look at him, he gritted his teeth, his fist clenched at his sides. Damn it! There was no way he wanted to talk with Rodney right now, he needed five minutes to himself, to think and calm down. But there was no way he was going to get it.

"So, so I'm... I'm sorry."

Sorry wasn't what he wanted right now, he still didn't think Rodney fully understood what he'd done to Elizabeth at the moment, he didn't understand how out of control he felt. He didn't know how much saying she would do the same had hurt. All he wanted to do was hit Rodney, and hug Elizabeth, she'd protected him and he couldn't return the favor.

He turned to look at him, he couldn't stop the frown. He knew Rodney was sorry he'd gone behind his back, but he would have done it again. "Apology accepted."

He look back at the screens.

"All right." Rodney, nodded looking down at his feet.

He scratch his head, he was still mad, but he could look at Rodney now without fighting the urge to punch him.

"What did you say to her?"

"Nothing much."

"Come on thats not an answer."

"Nothing you need to know."

"Fine," Rodney's sulk clear in his voice.

He watched him go, maybe he'd get a moment of quiet now, he watched as Teyla tried to comfort Elizabeth. He almost thought he should be the one in there, no one else really got it like he did, but him and Elizabeth talking might give him away... So he just watched.

He could tell Elizabeth, felt they should have never done this, he watched as Teyla tried to convince her otherwise, but he knew Elizabeth would never agree. He knew, because he never would.

He jogged the last few stairs up to the control room, when he heard Radek's voice,

"What the hell are you doing up here?"

"Well, there's not much point sitting in the infirmary waiting to die, when I could be up here helping." Radek said from his chair.

"All right, I can agree with that. So where do we stand?"

"Well, we can pretty much forget subspace communications. The main control array was almost completely destroyed by the beam. I do have another idea."

"Lets hear it."

"The reason why we can't use the power we have left to execute a short jump into hyperspace, is because the city will not let us."

"It's a safety protocol. But I might be able to safely bypass it."

"And what does that give us?" he wondered.

"Not much," Rodney jumped in.

Zelenka defended his idea, "Well, we wouldn't be able to get to the Apollo, or to a Stargate, but we should be able to reach a livably planet. My team is running sensor sweeps right now."

"He's conveniently leaving out why that protocol is there, in the first place." Rodney said, arrogantly.

"Yes, well, with insufficient power, there is a chance that the city could be ripped apart as we try to enter the hyperspace window."

He felt his eyebrows raising, just a chance, huh. "What kind of chance?"

He could tell Zelenka didn't like this plan much even as it was his,"Fifty-fifty."

Fifty-fifty... he couldn't believe it, so he mouthed it again. That was a terrible plan.

"I have to say Radek I'm not loving this plan."

Then McKay snapped his fingers behind him, "Yes?" he asked turning.

"The experimental jumper."

They stared blankly at him.

"Remember when I got zapped by that machine a few months ago, and I got... Well, even smarter than I normally am?"

John winced, he never expected to forget, that or his brush with one. He went with the safe answer, "The one that almost killed you? Yeah."

"Well, yeah, before I was reset I was very close to finishing a hyperdrive for a jumper."

What would they do with that? Well they could get help or something... "Can you finish it?"

"Yeah. I mean... Yes, I probably can."

"Okay, so you finish it we make the jump to the Apollo tell them where we are."

"No."

"Why not? What's the point of fixing it if we can't tell them where we are?"

"The Jumper's hyperdrive would be limited. We wouldn't be able to jump that far," Zelenka told him.

"How far are we talking?" he directed his question to Zelenka,

"What do you think, like, two?" Zelenka asked looking at Rodney.

"Yeah. Two and change, maybe?" Rodney nodded his head thinking.

"Conservatively, maybe two thousand light years," Zelenka went on.

"This is a list of addresses that are within range." Zelenka brought up the list to run on screen.

"So we make a bunch of jumps and evacuate the city."

"Again, no."

"Why no, again?"

"Well, for one the drive hasn't been tested, Rodney said negatively, and Zelenka added. "And we'll be lucky to get two jumps."

"So we only get a return trip, hun?" he said. Of course it worked that way, nothing could go right, being able to evacuate the city would be too easy. Then he noticed the Replicator planet was in range, they had ZPMs, maybe with the jumper, and McKay...

"So we could make a little stop..."

McKay looked at him, question clear on his face, then he looked at the address he was staring at, "Yeah, Some place with a few ZPMs to spare, right?"

"That was my idea."

"Atlantis fully powered." Rodney went off in to the raptures of the possibilities.

"Well, we'd only need one, and they couldn't know we were there till we'd left."

Radek was just catching up, "M7R-227."

"Yep." Great wasn't it, his plan, charge back to the planet that got them in to the whole mess. Oh, it was a great charge to your death, your not coming back mission. "So McKay, feel up to a robbery?"

**Three and a Half Hours Later**

He walked down to the OR with Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon. As they walked, he found, he had to remind himself why this was the only way, they had a good chance of making it out. Sure he'd done some crazy stuff before, but now he was asking Elizabeth to do something that he was sure would scare the crap out of her, he knew how well he'd have taken it, if she'd asked him to go, and close his eyes on a hive ship two hours after he'd found out he was a… Hybrid.

They'd arrived.

He strode pass his men guarding the door with ARGs, she looked up as they entered. She set her book aside, and tried to straighten her hospital gown, futile, but he understood her need to be calm and in control.

"So want go on a field trip?" he tried to be cheerful, he knew she wouldn't like this at all.

"What do you mean?" She narrowed her eyes at him, just like she did when she thought he was being silly about his change, or before it when he'd suggested something stupid.

McKay took over, and got technical about why they needed her along. Ten minutes later Elizabeth still hadn't agreed, and he was getting impatient.

"Which will let us find the nearest ZPM, and the best way in and out." he tried to lead Rodney to the point, it sort of worked, the others chipped in their two bits.

He watched her, she was very worried, she'd gone from sitting, sort of relaxed, to holding her knees to her chest, he was glad she was wearing shorts under the dress or she'd be showing off more then she'd want to. But he felt for her, but the city needed her and this.

She finally voiced her biggest concern, "What happens if they manage to take control of the nanites?"

"Oh, they won't, they can't and I'll be watching, and should be able to counter..."

"But what if they do?"

He could take care of that worry, "I had Rodney put a kill switch in the nanites. If need be, we trigger the program and it'll kill the nanites."

She nodded, "Kill? You mean turn them off?"

McKay answered for him, "Yes."

"And you said they were all thats keeping me alive."

He felt sympathy he really did, but it wouldn't come to that, he wouldn't let it. "They are, if we kill the nanites, it will kill you," he could be blunt, he owed her that.

He made sure to look her in the eyes, he could see her relief and fear, fear she'd hurt them before they killed her. He also knew some of that fear had to do with death, he could, and couldn't empathize with that, he should be dead so many times over, that death was familiar almost a friend, a promise.

"But it won't come to that." he smiled at her, he saw she wasn't... wasn't sure. "All right? I've ordered Rodney to keep an eye on the little things, and so they should behave."

Teyla spoke from behind him, "We would not ask if it was not life or death for the mission."

"She's right, if we don't get hold of a ZPM, we're all dead in hours any way, we'll die in the vacuum of space, with no air... and I'd..." Rodney got carried away again.

"When do we leave?" Elizabeth interrupted him.

John made sure to smile at her, he knew how brave of her it was, to go. "Right now."

She hopped off the bed, he looked her up and down, "Well maybe you'll want some real clothes first."

"Yes, I might."

Rodney started spluttering, "What? No, not right now! I have to finalize the power, and..."

"Then go do it." he said, Rodney dashed off, and Teyla and Ronon left with him. It was just him and Elizabeth. He stayed looking at Elizabeth, she ducked her head.

"Your awfully brave, to be coming with us."

"No, not really, I'm terrified that they'll take over me, and I'll hurt all of you, or they sense me and shoot us out of the sky... or so many things." she sighed.

"Yes, you are. You are brave."

"No John, I'm not, your brave, you go through the gate every time your asked without so much as a shiver, even after everything thats happen to you, the Iratus bug, the retrovirus, and other stuff. No, I'm not brave."

"Elizabeth, I think your brave, if you'd asked me that day to go to a hive, I think I would have cried."

She laughed at that, but sobered quickly, "John I want you to watch me very closely."

"Do you really think I wouldn't do that anyway?"

"No, I suppose not."

They stood in silence for a moment, before Elizabeth swore, "Damn this floor is cold."

He laughed and turned to leave, "John, if the time comes, don't hesitate." He turned back slowly, somberly, "Elizabeth it won't come to that."

"But if it does?"

"You have my word."

"Good."

"Just remember if I go Wraith on you, return the favor."

She laughed, "Look at the two of us, worried about other natures..."

"John, I swear it either of us loses it, on this mission one will shoot the other. Just remember..."

He waited, she shrugged it off. "John you go catch up with Teyla and tell her."

He looked at her, "How did you know?"

"Because it's what I'd do."

He nodded and jogged out.

He ran through the halls to catch up with her, "Teyla! Wait up!" She turned and waited. He reached her, "I need you to sit this one out."

"What? John, I am perfectly able of..."

"Yeah, I know thats not why I want you to stay here, I want you to stay here to lead Atlantis in case... things don't go well."

"John if this doesn't work, the city..."

He interrupted again, "Yes, I know. But Zelenka thinks he's found a planet for us that he could jump the city to."

"But with no shields we wouldn't be able to land."

"Yes I know, you would have to evacuate in the jumpers, and if that happens everyone will be down hearted, and will need a leader."

"You mean leave the city."

"Only if it comes to that, I know you can lead everyone, and give them hope."

"John..."

"Look, if we're not back in twelve hours, I want you to give the order." he hated doing this to her, but of everyone left, she was the best choice.

He saw she would do ask he asked, and left, he had things to do before they left.

He got Elizabeth her clothes, and he readied other stuff they'd need, ARGs, some small amount of food, he made sure his men would be ready to help, and obey Teyla.

Finally Ronon told him McKay was ready, so he got his guards together for Elizabeth, and he walked beside her as all of them headed for the Jumper bay. Even if he gave the orders for her escort he also supported her, she wasn't forced to wear cuffs, and well the curious watched her, he was glad she didn't let that stop her from holding her head high.

He got her loaded, and ready, McKay and Ronon were there already waiting, he took and ARG from one of his men, and climbed in the driver's seat.

_ "All right, Teyla we're ready to launch."_

"_Understood."_

The doors opened, and he told the Jumper to take off.

"_Remember, no wild parties well we're gone."_

"_We will try to restrain ourselves." _Teyla told him seriously. _"And Good luck."_

_ "Thanks, and we're gone."_

They cleared the shield, he couldn't quite hide his rush, it happen to him every time he flew a Jumper. "So Rodney you ready?"

"Did I ever mention this might not work?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well let me say it again, this could go terrible wrong we could get stranded in deep space or we could be vaporized the moment..."

Ronon cut Rodney off, "Just answer the question."

"Yeah, we're ready.

"Good, sit down." this was exciting, another do or die mission, he had done some of these on earth, but here he seemed to do them at least quarterly, which now that he thought on it, seemed weird, shouldn't some one else, have them too?

Random thoughts strike again, he need to focus. Rodney at least seemed to have settled him self.

"Here it goes."

Rodney began narration, for him, "Okay opening hyperspace window in three, two, one."

They jumped.

**Half an Hour Later**

They arrived.

"Congratulations Rodney. Your hyperdrive worked." Elizabeth told him.

"Unfortunately, believe it or not Zelenka was right. We used way too much power on our trip here then we thought it would." Rodney said tapping away on his pad.

"What are you saying? Are you saying we can't get back?" Ronon asked, sound bored.

"No, no, what I am saying is that the... Actually that is exactly I'm saying." Rodney said looking up, sounding surprise. "I suppose, once we have the ZPM, I could tap in to it's power and I then need to make sure I don't overload the main..."

John cut him off here, "Why don't we take this one step at a time, and steal the ZPM first. Then worry about how we're going to get away."

"Right." Rodney said, turning back to his laptop.

Then he spoke to Elizabeth, "I'm going to try to initialize the link."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Oh, nothing, just sit there, it's completely wireless. Though let me know if anything pops into your mind."

"What do you mean?"

"Will I just sorta sense something, or is it more of a... Oh."

He looked back, at the 'oh'. She seemed to be looking at something off in the distance.

"Wow. We did it, or she did." Rodney said amazed. "Look we have to move fast, it won't take them long to find out some one else is in the game."

He ignored this for a moment to check on Elizabeth, "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Very strange." She said, vaguely, still staring off in to the distance. "I can see the entire city, right in front of me, and I mean every corridor, every room."

He knew sort of knew how that felt, a Wraith mind was intense too. He grinned, well Rodney looked a little jealous.

Then Elizabeth pointed over to the left, saying "That way. There's a ZPM, Fourth quadrant, top level, easy to get to. There's hardly anyone around." She grinned, "Piece of cake."

"Sounds good," he slowly flew the cloaked Jumper the way Elizabeth pointed him. They landed on top of the building, he was relived, all the maneuvering needed to not crash into buildings wasn't fun. "All right we're down."

Ronon immediately jumped up and was moving to the back of the jumper, to check that they were in the clear. He started giving orders, at the same time, "Rodney you and Elizabeth stay here, Elizabeth you guide us through, Rodney let us know if you find something we need to know."

He stood up, and took the offered ARG from Ronon.

"Twenty meters to the left, behind the Jumper, there is an access door. If you go down one flight of stairs, you'll enter auxiliary corridor seven."

Okay that was a little creepy. Just a little.

"Go now it's clear."

"Okay, Thanks." He smiled, he could handle creepy, he'd turned into a bug for a while, part Replicator he could do this.

He and Ronon moved fast, down the stairs, and they were in the corridor.

_ "We're in the corridor."_

"_Go right." _Elizabeth sound more focused, this was good, her being so spaced had concerned him.

They headed right, Elizabeth narrated where to go from there. _"At six .five meters, there should be another corridor."_

He and Ronon turned that way, and moved quietly, even if it was empty that was no reason to be loud. _"Okay, we see it."_

"_Turn left. Wait! Go back!"_

Theyturned and hid around the corner, he saw the Replicator go on, it didn't seem to have seen them, _"Elizabeth, a little more warning would be nice." _He hissed into the radio.

"_Sorry. You can go now, he didn't see you."_

He began running, Ronon carrying the case for the ZPM. He made the left, and Elizabeth told him where to go next, _"Turn right, and it should be right in front of you."_

He made sure to cover Ronon's back, jogging backwards, yet another befit of his change, he almost never fell without help, and even then less often. Ronon slid the door open, the room was empty, just a power console, one that had a ZPM power source.

_ "I see it."_

He stopped Ronon from opening the console yet, "Hold on, Chewie."

_ "Are they going to notice when we pull this thing?"_

"_Probably, but they've got dozens of ZPMs, hopefully they won't notice this one missing __till we're long gone." _Rodney answered.

_ "That plan sounds stupid," _he said. Why did they just tell him this now? Of course that wouldn't have stopped him from trying, but still... "_They haven't noticed us yet have they?"_

"_There's a small group of Replicators coming, from two corridors over, heading for you._

Crap. He pulled the ZPM and handed it to Ronon to put in the case, he did so. _"We're on our way."_

They dodged the Replicators, he could hear them coming down the corridor to the left, as they turned right again, and made their way home free, back to the jumper.

As soon as he was in the open door to the cloaked Jumper, he gave orders, "Hook up the ZPM, we're leaving."

"Wait a second, we can't go." Rodney said, from his shotgun seat in front of the jumper.

He reined in his previously forgotten annoyance with him, "Why the hell not?"

"You said you could fix the hyperdrive enough to get back?"

Ronon was shutting the hatch, while he argued with Rodney.

"I mean, we can, but not yet."

"My question still stands."

"Look, while Elizabeth's been connected, I've been going over the Replicator base code and I found this." he lifted up the screen to show him.

"And what is it?" Ronon asked.

He waited, they'd gotten the ZPM why couldn't they just leave?

"The Holy Grail."

They stared at him well he elaborated.

"It's their whole reason for being. It's a command code that directs them to attack the Wraith." Rodney looked down at the computer, like he was looking at his true love or something amazing.

"But they don't, they've been sitting on their stupid nanite asses for the last ten thousand years."

"Well, thats because it's been deactivated."

"Who did it, or how did that happen?" Elizabeth asked, from her seat next to the excited man.

"I have no idea. Maybe the Ancients did it when they realized they couldn't control them."

"You just found this?" he was annoyed. Seriously McKay's supposed to be a genius? Well, it probably had been hard to find, and just because he was annoyed, didn't mean he had to be so hard on him. Oops, he tuned out Rodney's answer, he started listening in the middle of a sentence.

"...of command codes. Look, I always thought something like this would be in here, but believe me, it was not easy to find.

Elizabeth as usual, cut to the chase, "Can you reactivate it?"

"Yes, but there is one small problem," he looked at them hesitantly. "Look, I can reprogram the nanites in your brain, and we'd use them to upload the changes. But then we'd have to stay here and wait for the next merge, which could be days, and then they'd know your here, and take steps to bring you in to the collective."

"That is a crap plan, Rodney. We're not going to do it, if thats what it takes," he said, frustrated.

"John you know what this could mean, the Replicators at war with the Wraith..." Elizabeth said, softly.

"It doesn't matter it's an awful plan!"

"It's my choice, John."

"The hell it is. I'm in charge of the mission and I say no."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. There may be another way," Rodney said jumping in.

John sat down in the pilot's chair well Rodney talked.

"There's a central date core. It's like a backup hard drive, we could download the changes there, and next time they backed themselves up, so to speak, the command would activate. We would likely be long gone before it activated, like back in Atlantis."

"Now that sounds like a real plan."

"Yeah." Rodney sat back in his chair, then winced. "Just there's one small problem, which isn't that small really..."

Elizabeth interrupted, "The core is at the center of the city, several levels down. It would be impossible to get there undetected."

"Perfect," and it was, the whole last thirty hours had been like this, and that wasn't counting the mission to destroy the ships. He shook his head, this was a good opportunity, but he knew it wasn't going to go well. "We should come back, and do it another time, we need to get this ZPM back to the city."

"I don't think we're going to get another chance." Rodney said, negatively.

"He's right." Elizabeth said, staring hard at him, he didn't turn to look at her. "Once they notice the ZPM missing, they know who did it, and likely be able to trace how it happened too. I will never get this sort of unrestricted, undetected access again."

"If we're going to do this, it's now or never." Rodney agreed.

"So how will we stop them from reaching the jumper?" he asked. He really didn't think this was a good idea.

"I just might have an idea." Rodney said.

**Thirty Minutes Later**

"So you're going to turn the cloak into an anti-Replicator field?" Ronon asked, pestering McKay again.

"Yes, by interfacing the ARG's control crystal with the Jumper's cloaking generator." Rodney said, clearly annoyed by Ronon's asking. "The only question is how far can I widen the field."

"Look go ahead and fly us as close as possible to the center of the city."

He ignored the backseat driving, well he waited for Elizabeth to direct him, she didn't disappoint. "There," she pointed. He'd been flying in vague circles for awhile now, it would be nice to land and get this over with, he didn't like being here, he felt exposed.

"But won't we be visible?" Ronon asked.

"Yes,we will, but they won't be able to get close," Rodney said. "The anti-Replicator field will protect us. That is assuming that I can extend the field wide enough to encompass not only the Jumper, but the core room too, and that we can run fast enough to reach the core room, input the command and run back, before they figure out a way around the field and... And... Well, slaughter us."

Well, he could take care of that worry, "Don't worry about that. You're not coming with us. Neither is Elizabeth, you guys can lead us through, by radio like last time."

"Wait, if I'm not there who will input the command?"

"Put it on a tablet and I'll do it."

"Do you think it's really going to be that simple? You just want to plug and play? Huh?" Rodney sneered.

"Well, it will be, because your going to make it that simple."

"Yeah, well I..."

"I need you to stay here, Rodney." He couldn't leave Elizabeth alone, not here in the middle of an enemy strong hold, especially with her connection to them.

"Why?"

"Rodney!" of all the stupid questions. Because Elizabeth can't be left alone and because you stupid prat you don't run fast enough. Idiot! Oh what he'd love to say out loud.

"To keep an eye on me." Elizabeth said, turning to look at Rodney.

And it was sad, that was only his second reason. It just proved how un-trust worthy she felt she was, it wasn't like he didn't know that feeling.

But Elizabeth went on, "You may need to active the kill switch on the nanites. And to know when, you'll need to keep a close eye on me and you can do that better from here in the Jumper."

The surprised, and taken aback look on Rodney's face would have been funny under other circumstances.

"All right." Rodney mumbled.

"So where am I landing?" He asked Elizabeth.

"Right on that platform over there," she pointed.

As they got close Elizabeth added "The core is beneath the platform."

"How far down do you mean?" once again, that sinking feeling was there.

"Nine levels."

Great. Well, it fit the day and the rest of the mission so far so... he noticed Elizabeth looking at his face, she could probably tell what he was thinking, so he said something kinda reassuring. "No worries, it'll be a piece of cake."

He could tell she didn't believe him, and he didn't blame her for either.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

Rodney still didn't have the shield, field ready, he was really starting to think they should just call it quits. This was just taking far to long, another ten and if Rodney still wasn't ready they'd leave.

Suddenly they turned visible, "Rodney we're visible."

"Engaging anti-Replicator field, now."

After a few heart in mouth moments, a shimmering blue bubble appeared, around the Jumper.

He pulled up the screen about the Jumper, it showed the field was working well, but it was just around the Jumper.

"Okay it's working." Rodney said, tapping at his computer. "Now lets jack it up,"

That phrasing struck him as odd, but then Rodney went on. "See how far we can penetrate."

He winced Rodney just had to say it like that, now it sounded dirty, and he really didn't want to think like that at all. He had to ask "Penetrate?"

"What?" Rodney asked looking up.

Gross thats all there was to that.

"All right, here we go." Rodney dialed up the field. The screen showed the field sinking in the levels below them slowly, one level down, two levels down.

"It's working," Elizabeth said.

The field got closer and closer to the core room and then it made it.

"Damn right, it's working." Rodney almost crowed. "You now are good to go."

He looked at Elizabeth, and she looked at him, he still hesitated, this could still go very badly. Elizabeth as normal, read his doubts, and encouraged him with a small nod, if Elizabeth said go for it he would.

"What, you don't believe me, but you believe her?" Rodney asked.

He'd go with that, "No offense."

"Offense taken."

"Straight down, nine levels. Then a short run down a corridor to the Core Room."

He nodded, and left his chair heading back, to get an ARG. He didn't like this feeling he had, it felt like he knew this was going to go sideways.

As he grabbed his ARG, Rodney told him what to do once he made it to the Core Room.

"Okay, I've written a basic block-storage transport protocol to upload the attack command directly from this tablet into the core. All you need to do is plug this," he gestured with a plug and cord. "Cable into the main circuit, it'll automatically configure and upload the command."

"Plug it in." he pulled the strap Rodney had handed him over his head and arm.

"You wanted simple."

"Yeah, I like simple," it makes my chances of get in and out better, and there for I have a better chance of living.

Oh, the stuff he didn't say out load.

"Well, we created that adapter to interface with Ancient tech and since the Replicators love to copy, so it should work. Now you need to..."

Then Rodney did his normal I'm smarter then you, and have to point out the obvious stuff, he tuned him out. Rodney had not done this nearly as much at first, new to the Pegasus galaxy and all, but now he was a department head of over fifty people, and use to being in-charge.

It got annoying when Rodney forgot he was in-charge, and the fact he lead the military portion of the expiation. He did stuff like this all the time, he was normally the one giving them. Hell, his department had more than a hundred people in it.

Rodney had finished talking, he stood looking nervous.

John looked to Elizabeth, she too looked worried. "We'll just do what we did last time, lead us through if we need help, and warn us if they make it through the field."

Elizabeth and Rodney both nodded.

He opened the door, stepping out on to the roof, Ronon close behind him.

"We'll be back soon." he said, as Rodney closed the door behind him and Ronon.

He and Ronon jogged down the stairs, they only had eight more floors to go.

**Five Minutes Later**

They'd made it. _"We're here left or right?"_

"_Right." _Elizabeth told him.

They turned right, and went down the hall a little. They then saw three Replicators, both he and Ronon had the guns up and aimed at them, before they saw they was outside the field.

The three step forwards into the field, and disintegrated.

He took a deep breath, that was a scare. Now they need to move faster, he and Ronon broke in to a run the rest of the way to the Core Room.

"_Turn right."_

He and Ronon turned right, then the door was there.

They entered the room, it was impressive, low lighting. However the more important thing was, was the blue and orange glowing piece of technology, it seemed to have just one control panel.

He spoke in to his radio, _"I'm going to assume that the big glowing thing is the core."_

"_Indeed, it is. Okay, there should be an open slot in the control panel and you can plug the adapter in there," _ Rodney told him.

_"'kay," _he walked the rest of the way over to the control panel, pulling the tablet's strap over his head as he went.

He found the slot and plugged it in. _"It's in."_

"_Really? because I'm not getting anything, are you sure you plugged it in right the right slot?"_

He searched the rest of the control panel, nothing. _"Yeah. There's only one slot Rodney."_

"_Okay, try plugging it in again." _

He pulled it out and plugged it back in, nothing. _"I did."_

"_Still nothing. Look, what did you do?"_

_ "I didn't do anything."_

"_You broke it!"_

Elizabeth cut in here, _"John, Ronon you need to hurry, their coming! And there are hundreds of them."_

"_Wait, won't the field protect us?" _Ronon asked.

"_Yeah it will, as long as you hurry." _Rodney said, the strain clear in his voice.

"_Okay..."_ Rodney trailed off.

John stood waiting for something when Elizabeth spoke again, _"It's strange... their attacking the field..." _She paused_, No their deliberately sacrificing themselves."_

"_Why would they do that?" _Ronon asked.

Elizabeth answered, _"The more they attack the field, the sooner they'll be able to override it."_

John almost sighed again, it seemed like that was all he was doing to today, well that and nothing seemed to go right. "Then we need to go." he said to Ronon.

_ "Rodney, if we're going to do this tell me what to do, and do so now."_

"_The core needs to recognize the tablet and it's not. Okay, ahh..." _

He could almost hear Rodney thinking.

"_You need to implement adjustments in the negotiation protocol to exploit parallelism at the device interface."_

_ "What?"_ He and Ronon said at the exact same moment, and if it hadn't been so serious John would have said jinx.

"_Just do what I say. Start by unplugging the cable."_

Hestormed over,nothing could go right. _"This is not simple Rodney!" _He yanked the cable out of the panel's slot.

"_I'm sorry. Now access the tablet's root directory."_

A couple of moment of quite later he was making progress, this wasn't as hard as he thought it be. _"What's next?"_

"_Your done?"_

He rolled his eyes at that, he wasn't that stupid, he just wasn't as smart as Rodney.

_ "No I just asked so I would have time to forget and have to ask again."_

"_Okay, your change to the Protocol needs to allow direct data placement. We need to allow for resynchronization of the packet boundaries within the data stream."_

He was doing it, he took a deep slightly relived breath, only for things to go wrong again.

"_You need to get out of there, they've breached the field!"_ Elizabeth said.

"Crap," he'd jinxed himself.

"_But we're not done yet," _Rodney said.

John tried to hurry the changes along, if they were going to get out...

"_There is no more time, Replicators have breached the field." _Elizabeth said sounding quiet distressed.

Rodney finally seemed to believe her, _"Can they get away?"_

"_No. Oberoth is coming, every way out is swarming with Replicators."_

"_So they're screwed."_

John paused in his frantic tapping on tablet to mention, _"And we can hear you."_

"_Oh. Aah.. No what I meant was," _John cut him off._ "No save it Rodney, what do I do next?"_

Ronon having heard that the Replicators were coming ran to the door, to guard it and be a look-out. John followed the instructions, he was very close to being done when he heard Rodney call for Elizabeth over the radio.

"_Elizabeth! Wait come back! What are you doing? Elizabeth!"_

_"Rodney what's going on?"_

"_Elizabeth just left the jumper."_

Fuck! He'd just finished the changes for Rodney, and now Elizabeth had run off; in a city of replicators. Every time he thought it couldn't get any worse it did, she would have two reasons for running off, one to try and help them or they'd taken over her. In either case he could do only one thing.

_"Rodney do you know why she ran off?"_

"_No. She just up and left, I don't know why!"_

_ "Elizabeth, if you don't want me to order Rodney to shut your nanites off, answer me." _

Nothing...

_ "Elizabeth, it's Sheppard, do you copy me?"_

Once again there was no answer.

"John if they capture her..." Ronon trailed off.

"Yeah, I know that." He really, really could resent her for this, she just had to do this to him didn't she? She couldn't just sit down and let him and Ronon go could she.

_"Elizabeth I'm serious."_

Silence really pissed him off, did she want to die?

"She said hit the kill switch if she did anything suspicious," Ronon put in.

"_So?" _Rodney asked listening, _"Are we going to listen to her?"_

_ "Shut her nanites off," _he hated saying it but if had to be done

"_But..."_

_ "Rodney do as I say."_

"_But Elizabeth..._

_ "Rodney we don't have time for this, I've finished, so do your part."_

"_Fine," _his sulky tone, come over the radio loud and clear.

He didn't realize he was just standing there by the control panel till Ronon spoke, "Sheppard?"

He gave a start, it was stupid to just stand there in the middle of the Replicator's core room with them on the way, but knowing he'd just ordered Elizabeth's death hurt, he'd respected her from the first time he'd seen her give orders, but now they were friends, and dare he say it; close friends. After Carson's death she'd been the only one who knew, who he could talk to, and facing the idea of being alone in knowing what he was scared him.

"Coming," he walked over to take the other side of the door, when Rodney spoke again.

"_It's not working."_

_"What do you mean it's not working?"_ he asked carefully.

"_I mean the nanites aren't acknowledging the shut-down code."_

_ "Why not?"_

"_I don't know... Elizabeth last time did have some amount of control over her nanites, maybe she's blocking it, or something could be interfering with the frequency, I don't really know."_

"_Why would she do that?"_ Ronon asked.

"_I don't know maybe she doesn't want to die! If I'm going to find out I need to run a diagnostic." _

"_How about instead of doing that find a way to get us out of here," _Ronon ordered.

_"Or finish up loading the command," _he suggested.

"_What!? Your done already?"_

_ "Yep."_

"_Hun, never would have guessed you'd get it done that fast."_

_ "Oh ye of little faith Rodney," _he said dryly.

"_Wow it is working!"_

_ "Can we leave the room now?"_

"_Yeah, don't get caught."_

_ "That is the plan, Rodney."_

He opened the door only to come face to face with a Replicator, "Crap!" he jerked back only to realize the eight didn't move.

He peeked out, they still didn't move. _"Rodney are you doing this?"_

"_Huh? What do you mean?"_

"_The Replicators are frozen." _Ronon said bluntly, poking one with his ARG.

After a moment of silence Rodney answered, _"No I was to busy making the upload to notice, but not just the ones near you are frozen, every Replicator in the city is too."_

_ "Okay, think it's Elizabeth?"_

"_Thats my best guess."_

"_Can she do that?" _Ronon asked.

"_Probably but she would have to link directly into the Replicator collective, which means the chances of them taking over her nanites just increased exponentially."_

_ "How long till they come back to life?"_

"_I don't know, but i'd err on the side of less time rather then more." _

"Ronon, lets go and find her."

Ronon nodded, they took off at a run. The first two floors were swarming with Replicators, so many they had to push past, which slowed them down. The third wasn't so bad, but the forth was as bad as the first two, Rodney got inpatient enough to demand to know where they were.

_"We have five more floors to go, Rodney."_

"_Your going far too slow! Have you found Elizabeth yet?"_

_ "No Rodney, and it's not our fault the halls are swarming with Replicators is it?"_

"_Hurry up."_

"_We are," _Ronon growled.

_"McKay are you sure you can't track her?"_

"_I've already tried that, nothing, and she hasn't radioed or anything, if we're going to find her it's by walking in to her."_

Now they were on the fifth, it wasn't to bad, neither was the six or seventh, but floor eight was bad, it was full they had to slow to a fast walk to get past all of the Replicators.

_"Rodney are you sure you can't help?"_

"_I told you, and you've asked five times, no I can't unless you want me to leave the Jumper?"_

_ "Well she has to be alive, if she is the one freezing the Replicators."_

"_For the moment maybe, but once they start to be able to move they might kill her."_

_ "She can't be to far, she didn't have time to get far she has to be on this floor or the next."_

He turned left, looking, then the right, if she was down them he couldn't see her, he headed straight.

"_While make it fast they could unfreeze at any moment."_

_ "Thanks I never would have guessed," _he said sarcastically.

Looking, looking, looking, next hall, same, next one after that, no Elizabeth. Crap. Where was she? Ok, who would I have linked with if it were me?

She did say Oberoth was coming, so him. Okay John you know where Elizabeth would go, where would Oberoth be?

He would have gone towards the roof where he'd expect me to leave Elizabeth.

"Ronon their on the next floor up."

"You sure?"

"Pretty."

Ronon shrugged and they ran for the stairs.

They found her. Yes! They rounded the corner skidding in to view, Elizabeth stood above Oberoth's kneeling body her hand in his forehead.

They brought their ARGs up to bear when Oberoth's hand slowly reached up and pulled Elizabeth's hand out of his head, "Come Elizabeth!" he called.

The guards behind Oberoth started moving in slow motion, "Now Elizabeth!"

"Get to the Jumper!"

"Not without you!"

"Now John!"

Ronon squeezed off a shot at Oberoth, it had no effect on him.

"I can't hold them much longer! Go!"

"We're not leaving you behind!"

"If you don't leave right now, you won't be able to reach the Jumper John, then none of us will get out! That's an Order!"

A guard shot at Ronon, he dodged, he was now behind him.

John looked at Elizabeth, she had to know he wouldn't follow that order. The second guard fired his weapon, John dodged. Ronon behind him failed to, he slumped to the ground stunned.

Things were get worse, the guards were speeding up and starting to surround her, and she still wasn't running away.

"ELIZABETH!"

Elizabeth turned to face him, peace on her face, even as the Replicator guards shot at him. Then she mouthed something at him, and then again, he now understood.

She was saying, "You promised."

And he had, so he gritted his teeth and pulled the trigger.


	10. Chapter 10 Here Without You

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer I don't own John, or Ronon, or Rodney, or Sam, or Teyla, or anyone... yet. I don't own Life line.**

**Simple I own nothing but how I torture the characters.**

**This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible. So Kolya is still alive.**

**Chapter 10 song Here Without You by Three Doors Down**

John didn't remember how he made it to the Jumper with Ronon over his shoulder, he did it, but his mind was still watching Elizabeth's body arc backwards after he shot her with the ARG.

He felt drained, tried, achy. He blinked at Rodney, only now noticing the noise. "What did you say again?"

"I asked wheres Elizabeth?"

He blinked again, picturing her graceless fall, "Dead."

"Oh..."

John shook his head, dumping Ronon on the floor, he headed for the pilot's chair.

"Have we got the cloak?"

"No, not yet we drained too much power from the cloak to power the anti-Replicator field."

He sighed, "Then hold on."

"What?"

"Sit down and hold on I have a feeling this will get bumpy."

"But I can't work if I'm sitting..." Rodney threw himself in his seat, as the Jumper took off.

John pushed the Jumper to it's limits, it took a hit as he pulled away from the tower, but then he was able to weave in and around the buildings.

"Rodney, how soon can we jump into hyperspace?"

"No time soon, we need more power which means I need to be able to work on interfacing the ZPM so we even have a chance."

"Fine!"

However once he started going for space, they became better targets. They'd just made it off the planet when something appeared ahead of them, a Replicator war ship, it opened fire.

They were taking a beating, and just when he thought the shields were going to fail, help arrived.

"_Colonel Sheppard, this is the Apollo, do you read?"_

He sighed relived, as the Apollo drew the war ship's fire.

_"This is Colonel Sheppard, and may I say you have some Damn good timing. Sir."_

Ellis chuckled, _"That you may, the 302 bay is open and you have permission to come aboard."_

_ "Thank you Col. Ellis."_

"_Yeah you saved our asses," _Rodney cheered.

"_Sorry we might have been here sooner but it was hard to find Atlantis." _said women's voice.

"_Carter is that you?"_

"_Yeah it's me Rodney."_

He landed the Jumper aboard, once inside Ellis checked to make sure he had everyone, before jumping into hyperspace.

In the half an hour it took to get back to Atlantis, John had reported that Elizabeth Weir was dead. Ellis offered no solutions, but he offered a cold comfort in that John could know she had not become the enemy. He smiled a little and thanked the man, Rodney had been horrified that John had shot her, until he came clean about her having ordered him to. But Rodney's reaction had brought a seed of resentment to the surface, it had been bad enough when it had been Col. Sumner but Elizabeth, his friend, his confident, his leader whom he respected.

But now that they were back in the city he had other things to worry about, picking a new planet being among them.

He stood in the corner, listening well the others disused pros and cons of the new planets.

"Here's a good one, M35-117," Rodney suggested.

"Did Dr. Weir know about it?" Samantha Carter asked.

"No, it was not a either list of planets we'd considered before, I purposely searched for ones we never had looked at."

The silence was heavy, the off chance the Replicators had found where they'd been going to land Atlantis was now covered, they simply wouldn't be there.

"Yes, well, it has a stable atmosphere, large ocean, besides the big particularly venomous snake like creature that inhabits the mainland, it seems to be a welcoming environment." Rodney spoke like he was a Realtor.

"Yes, we'll take it," he said dryly

"Hun?" Rodney looked at him confused, while Carter chuckled.

"You sound as if you wanted us to buy it or something."

"Oh, well, right." Rodney shook his head, "Radek, hows it coming?"

"_All set here, the ZPM is online."_

"Okay, here we go." Rodney said heading over the control panel, Dr. Bill Lee helped him, Atlantis made the second jump into hyperspace.

**Three Hours Later, They'd Arrived**

In that time John had begged for a nap, but what he'd really done was think, how should he go from here? By the end of his 'nap' he still hadn't decided, his thoughts kept returning to Elizabeth's face as she fell, he still couldn't believe she was gone.

Rodney was the one to come and get him from his nap, "Rise and shine Pilot!"

"I'm already up Rodney," he said, ignoring the fact he'd never really been down.

"Oh, darn. The time to land has come!"

"How much coffee have you had in the last hour?"

"Eight cups or more. What's it matter?"

"Nothing much, I just wondered... because you seem hyper." He knew the implied childishness of such a thing would drive Rodney up the wall.

"Hyper! I am no such thing."

"Which is why you skipped in." he wouldn't smile, he wouldn't give the game up.

"Ack!" Rodney cried, "I didn't. I... I... I walked quickly."

"You skipped."

"I didn't!"

"You did." He was smirking, he couldn't help it, bating Rodney was far too much fun.

"I Didn't... Nice try, you won't draw me in to such a childish debate."

"But I just did."

"You most certainly did not."

"I did."

"You... Come, just fly the city," Rodney stormed off.

He arrived up in the control room just in time for the city to drop out of hyperspace. He found he was drawn to the windows, it was funny to think I'm in space and to see the windows blown out, little shards still sitting in windows or on the sills.

Carter joined him, he was amazed they'd done it, he didn't realize he'd spoken aloud till she answered him.

"No, the hard part is still coming, we have to land."

Rodney joined them, "Yeah, she's right, we still could die in the atmosphere."

"I'll just jump in the chair and ease us down."

"That might be harder then you think," Carter said. "After all the ZPM just used a lot of it's power get us here."

He went with the more diplomatic answer, "We have more then enough power to keep the shield up for reentry."

"As long as you don't put to much presser on the shield causing it to buckle, or go in to fast, which could make us crash or burn or..." Rodney said, still irked about the teasing.

"You just never stop, do you?"

"What?"

"Make sure everyone is ready, I'll go get in the chair," he jogged off. It was funny he thought, as he jogged; he knew now that they were here nothing would go wrong. It was stupid, but he was sure.

**Ten Minutes Later**

The city once again embraced him, he told her what to do and she carried out his plan, Rodney of course tried to back seat drive, but he knew it was not as bad as Rodney swore it was, so he didn't even answer.

She brought them down, slowly, carefully, John was amused Rodney was yelling in his ear about horrible deaths and what not, but the city, she knew what she was doing.

But something else he found funny, was his change had changed not how the city treated him but how he treated the city. He'd felt her before, but now... she'd become real, a person someone to, well, it, she wasn't just a city now, not to him.

They splashed down, it was a soft landing, barely a bounce.

The chair sat him up, everything was good, no serious flooding, the ZPM still had some power, at least according to the city.

He sat in the chair for a moment thinking to himself, now that this was done. What was he going to do?

He got up, helped get everyone back on Atlantis from the Apollo, as he talked to everyone, he felt strangely distant, he accepted the complements on the landing, he did what was needed. But he felt like there was a distance to everyone, he waited till he wasn't needed. Then he retreated, to the balcony where he and Elizabeth talked, staring at the sky. It was still unreal to know she was gone, at any moment she'd walk through the door and tell him he was being silly, but she wouldn't. She was gone. By his hand.

He stood there, he didn't now how long, then the door behind him opened.

He turned half expecting to see Elizabeth, but no, it was Carter. He turned back to the railing, he couldn't hide his feelings at the moment.

"I can't imagine how you feel at the moment, I think if I'd had to do what you did I... she trailed off, probably imagining doing it to one of her team mates, he'd read some of the reports on SG-1, he knew enough.

I don't know what I'd do, all I have to say at the moment is..." She paused as if looking for the words.

"Is Elizabeth would say thank you."

He bobbed his head, he couldn't speak, to thank her, he could only nod, because no matter what he felt, she was right.

"But! But she, probably wouldn't want you to feel guilt. Now I may not have known her but, she did order you to." she finished softly.

He only now became aware of the tears coursing down his face, he took a deep shuddering breath, and self-consciously wiped at his tears. He knew she was right, about all of that, but he never followed orders well, so in the end it had been his choice. He turned around, "Thank you for the bit of comfort." his voice was embarrassingly hoarse.

She nodded, self-consciously. "I need to get back to work," she thumbed over her shoulder.

He nodded and she left, he alone again.

But she was right, Elizabeth would want him to decide was he going to come clean or hide?

Come clean... he didn't like where that thought lead him, tell just his team? Tell everyone? Everyone, that thought told him he was in trouble, with Stargate command, with his friends, Atlantis. If he told everyone he'd be blacklisted so fast he would have trouble knowing what hit him, then they'd send him to Area 51, that was not something to consider.

Or he could come clean with just his friends... Rodney would freak, if not because of what he'd become, because it was his fault. That would not be fun to handle. Ronon... He just couldn't see that going well, if Ronon didn't try to kill him... he would treat him like he treated Michael when Michael had been human. Or maybe he had the slightest chance Ronon would think of it like he thought of Teyla's abilities. A slight chance.

Teyla was the one he saw taking it well, till she realized he'd been hiding it for months. But that would be the thing that pissed them all off if he told, he hadn't told them in all of the months he'd known. Months.

He was so screwed.

Hide...

He felt like that was his only choice, no one would know... but that had it's own draw backs. There was always the what if I go crazy thing or what if I get hungry thing. But he really had no choice, he'd lied to his friends even if it was only the lie of omission.

If he did this there would be no going back, he'd have to lie more than before, before Elizabeth had covered for him, but now it would be just him.

Well if nothing else, he now knew what what he was going to chose.

But he had no clue what he was getting into.

_**Hope you liked the song, but if you didn't tough. **_

_**Sorry this chapter is so short but the last one was really long and hard to write.**_

_**Dark shadowed rose**_


	11. Chapter 11 The Pretender

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer I don't own John, or Ronon, or Rodney, or Sam, or Teyla, or anyone... yet. I don't own Reunion. Simple I own nothing but how I torture the characters.**

**This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible. So Kolya is still alive.**

**Chapter 11 song The Pretender by the Foo Fighters**

**(Week fifteen of his change)**

The last week had been hard, John had been interviewed by the IOA about the circumstances around Elizabeth's death, that had not been fun, at least it hadn't been Woolsey interviewing him, he would have made it worse somehow.

It once again struck him as worrisome about how easy it had been to walk into Elizabeth's... well what use to be her office, and download all the files she'd pulled from Carson's computer about his change and all the research done on it.

He then hid the downloaded files in his golf club bag, no one would look there he figured.

Colonel Samantha Carter had taken over the Atlantis post, he wasn't really sure what to think about that, but he was glad he hadn't been made leader of the expedition, that would not have worked well at all.

He'd also discovered why Michael had asked what he was, he'd had a nightmare about shooting Elizabeth and got up to wash the sweat off his face, but he was still upset over the dream, he'd looked up in the mirror after rinsing his face and found he had gold eyes. And they got even brighter gold as he freaked out. So, yeah, he hadn't got any more sleep that night. Once he calmed down some, he realized his eyes faded, so he tried meditating till he was calm, then he looked in the mirror, they were back to their normal color.

He came to conclude he shouldn't get angry unless he wanted someone to see them like that.

One big relief was that no matter how the IOA had treated him no one in Atlantis had held it against him, he'd gotten sympathy cards from many, some had tried to treat him normally, others like Dr. Keller had just given him hugs. The hugs were nice no matter how awkward.

Elizabeth's send off, had been the worse part. Everyone in Atlantis had showed, as he, Rodney, Lorne, General O'Neill who'd come from Earth simply for this, Zelenka who was chosen because he was a senior member of the expedition, Dr. Keller, and a guy John didn't remember his name from the cultural department, whom if rumors were right had dated Elizabeth for a brief time. All of them got to carry the empty coffin back to Earth.

They went to the funeral where a great many heads of state showed, but she had only a few friends on Earth that she didn't know through work, he thought that was the really tragedy. No real boyfriend, not many friends, he may count himself among them, but few here had ever seen her tease, or laugh a real laugh... or relax.

It was tragic.

But life or his went on.

**(Week fifteen and two days)**

He hated paperwork, HATED it! he really did. But with his job it was a necessary evil, oh, but it was evil. Really evil...

He sighed a sigh of relief, his financial report for the month was done.

Now he could do his normal check in with the training Marines.

He sent the laptop down, and stretched, then groaned he'd been at this for hours, ok only two and half, but still.

He left his office at a jog, it felt nice to move, as he jogged he said hi to a good number of people, who he thought of as friends. Stacie, she like him came from a more politically alined family, but she had gotten in to science rather than military, and no matter what Rodney said he could have friends who were girls whom he'd not slept with.

He stopped to talk to Jim Red-hawk, he really was a fun guy to talk to, he could talk about fighting the Goa'uld before he'd taken a finishing hit to the knee, he could walk just fine, but he could only run for maybe a minute before falling because his knee gave out, and on top of that he'd taken a staff shot to the chest and had limited mobility in his right arm. Jim had come with the expedition because he hadn't quite been ready to retire so he was offered a support staff position on the expedition.

He considered it a bit ironic that he had not considered coming to Pegasus galaxy until General O'Neill had threatened him, but now that he had, despite some major draw backs he had more friends then he'd ever had on Earth, he had a good post, and just about everyone on Atlantis respected him. Life was funny like that, till he thought about of the draw backs.

Watching the Marines was always fun, but today he felt the need to step in and correct the one of the men who was trying to do a throw. Sgt. McCoy had tried to throw Lt. Slomski over his back, it worked sort of, but the way he threw him almost sent him to the mat, because he'd overbalanced.

He normally didn't spar much with the grunts, mostly because if they beat him it would be hard to respect him as a CO, his exceptions being sparing with Ronon, Teyla and upon occasion Maj. Lorne. All of them phenomenal fighters if they beat him, well they beat just about everyone. He'd started taking lessons from Teyla on stick fighting so the other men wouldn't hesitate learning something that could save their life, but now it was a way to prove in a mission they didn't have to worry about him letting them down.

"Sergeant, do you know why that didn't work like you planned?"

Sgt. McCoy stepped back from the Lt. Slomski breathing a little hard, "Not really Sir."

He kicked his boots off, time for a little demo. "Come here Lt. Slomski, Sgt. McCoy you watch my feet closely and I'll show you."

McCoy backed off the mat, and Slomski bent his knees getting ready.

After a couple of fast blocks and feints Slomski landed a hit, but John got him in a hold, which he broke with a combo move of an elbow and kick.

They backed off and circled slowly, John had to admit if only to himself, this was fun.

Slomski thought he saw a chance, he charged. John knew this was the moment to use the throw, he slid his right foot forward and centered his weight over the knee, bracing himself with his left foot, he rolled his right shoulder down to take Slomski's weight, then he waited for him to reach him.

Slomski hit him, trying to bowl him over with his superior mass. John caught him with his shoulder in the chest and he straighten his supporting leg to throw Slomski to the ground, winding him.

The other men watching clapped, John leaned over Lt. Slomski, offering his hand.

"You okay Lt.?"

He watched the pained expression fade from the man's face, "Yeah I'm good Sir, just winded."

"Sorry," he might have used a little to much of his real strength.

Lt. Slomski expected his hand up, John pulled the man to his feet, who was unable to hide the grimace of pain at the motion of straightening, he curled in a little on himself holding his ribs.

"Lieutenant? Are you sure your okay?" Now he felt really guilty because he was now sure he'd cracked the Lieutenant's ribs.

"No, now that I'm on my feet I think you cracked a rib... or two."

John winced, "Sorry."

"Yeah, don't worry about it Sir, this isn't the first time it's happened sparing. But I think I'm done sparing for the day...or week."

John only caught the last part because of his hearing, that would teach him to spar hand to hand with anyone other then Ronon and Lorne. Lt. Slomski gathered up his stuff, refusing John's offer to carry his gear, and he left walking carefully.

John watched him go, when Sgt. McCoy came over to him. "Don't worry about him he's cracked his ribs four times already in the last six months, his bones heal crazy fast. Anyone else would have to be careful with their ribs for a month his are better in a week or two, he has the medical staff puzzled because he's broken ribs and been healed in three weeks rather then six." McCoy nodded seriously to his raised eyebrow, "It's true sir ask Dr. Keller."

"Well, back to the reason I cracked the good lieutenant's ribs, did you see what you were doing wrong with you feet?"

"I did Sir..."

**(Three Hours Later)**

John was meeting up with his team mates for their normal dinner get together, and from what he could see from the line for the mash potatoes Rodney had arrived first, which was unusual Teyla was normal the first one there.

He got his potatoes and joined Rodney, "Where's Teyla and Ronon?"

Rodney looked up from his Laptop, "What? Oh, right. They went looking for some more Satedans. Remember the rumors?"

Now that he thought of it, he did remember, it slipped his mind today, but Rodney had gone on.

"Now that you mention it they should be here, I heard they got back like an hour ago."

"And your sure nothing went wrong?" he asked, worried.

"Yes, it went well." Teyla's voice came from behind him, "Ronon found some long lost friends." she sat down next to him.

He turned to ask her if so where Ronon was when he saw her face, "Gee Teyla what happened?"

She had the beginnings of a black eye, and a badly split lip with a butterfly bandage on it, and a vivid purple-red bruise on her cheek.

She grimaced, "Ronon's friends did not like my asking questions without identifying myself."

"As in multiple people, who fight like Ronon?" he asked.

"Yes."

Rodney snorted in laugher, "Man you should have guessed who they were when they attacked. I mean think about how we met Ronon."

Teyla gave him the evil eye.

He stopped laughing.

John had to fight to contain his smirk, he focused the conversation. "If so, where's Ronon?"

Teyla sighed deeply, "He's trying to convince Col. Carter to let him bring his friends here."

"Why?" Rodney broke his silence.

"Well first, because their his friends, and secondly they claim to have intel on a Wraith Lab," she said quietly.

"Oh..." Rodney said.

Ronon joined them before any of them could say more, he set his tray down more firmly then strictly needed. They all knew that meant the meeting with Carter had not gone as well as he would have liked.

"So I take it, that the answer was a no?" he asked, knowing Ronon would either answer or flip out.

"We go back in two days to see how good their intel is." he growled, digging in to his plate full of food like it had done some great evil.

The table was quiet till Ronon asked about the rumor that said John had broke someone's ribs in a sparing match.

"Hey! I didn't break his ribs, I only cracked them and I'd didn't mean to either," he protested.

"So it's true?" Teyla questioned.

"Not really, one of the Marines tried to use a throw, he wasn't centered and over-balanced so I thought I'd show them how to do it. End result his partner cracked his ribs." He was well aware of how sheepish his voice sounded, but them laughing at him wasn't very nice. But he could stand being the butt of a joke if it helped his team relax, because he had a feeling times like this wouldn't last.

**(Week fifteen and three days)**

Ronon had mentioned to Teyla this morning that he was thinking of leaving Atlantis, for his Satedan friends.

So come lunch time, he joined Ronon for lunch. God he hated doing stuff like this, talking was not his strong point. He probably wouldn't be doing this if Teyla hadn't insisted. And when she insisted, he'd rather go with it then fight her... most times.

The first thing Ronon said, when he sat down was, "Teyla's talked to you, didn't she?"

Denying it would be pointless so he agreed, "Yes, we did talk."

"-Mmm. So let's hear it," Ronon said skeptically.

That tone almost hurt, it sounded like he'd already decided to leave. He sipped at his juice, "What do you mean?"

"Whatever you've got to say."

"I'm not going to say anything."

"Really?" his tone was so sarcastic, John had to defend himself.

"Really, 'cause you already know what I'm going to say."

Ronon stared at him.

"Fine. Since you want to hear it so badly..." he cleared his throat. "You're a valuable member of my team, it would be very hard to replace you..."

"Mmm-hmm."

"And you may think that going back will be just like old times but it won't," he finished.

"And I knew you were going to say all of what you didn't just say?"

"Yep."

"Look, this isn't about me trying to bring back the past."

"Then what is it about to you?"

"They need me, they always have. I'm the one who took care of them, got them home alive after a battle."

That he understood, that he understood too well, that feeling was the one that almost ruined his career, and almost killed him more times then was fair. "You're one guy, Ronon. You can't protect them forever."

"Probably not. But I can try." Ronon got up and left the team to him and the lunch he wasn't hungry for.

"_Colonel Sheppard to the control room," _Came Rodney's voice.

He left his uneaten lunch there on the table and hurried up there. Once he arrived he found Rodney almost bouncing up and down in glee.

"What's going on?"

"A fleet of Replicator ships left the planet and just headed for a Wraith Planet." Rodney said, happy the code had finally been uploaded.

He looked over at Col. Carter and found she too looked relived that the Replicators had someone else to focus on for now.

**(Week Sixteen)**

Ronon had finally gotten everything together for the trip to his friends, in hopes the intel on a Wraith target was still good.

As they walked through the gate, John had the feeling, that this meeting was going to be awkward, and probably wouldn't go according to plan.

Week sixteen and two days later he'd been proven right, it had gone FUBAR.

He was pretty sure he had take four hits before he went down, but he wasn't sure what happened to Rodney, but it didn't surprise him when he woke to find Teyla standing over after all she had gone down with one hit.

"John are you alright?"

"Not really, I have a hang over and if I'm right we're in a Wrath cell."

Teyla frowned, "Unfortunately your right about where we are."

John forced himself to sit up, he knew there were now more Wrath then there had before he was knocked out so he had a feeling that even though Ronon and his friends weren't in there with them things weren't going to get better. As a matter of fact the wrath actually had a standing guard down the hall, which was pretty dang unusually. "Well at least Ronon and his friends aren't here." he said out loud trying to be positive.

Rodney crushed that faint hope, "No not really. Ronon's friends set us up."

Teyla turn to him as he sat eyes wide, John knew how she felt, betraying people to the Wrath, couldn't get much lower then that.

"Are you sure Rodney?" Teyla asked sounding horrified.

"Yeah pretty hard to mistake someone's intentions when they stun you and you wake up in a Wrath cell."

John blinked if that was the case why wasn't Ronon here with them? "Rodney was Ronon with them?"

Rodney blinked at him still a little fuzzy, "No, if he was I didn't see him."

Okay so they had Ronon on their side... they could be worse off.

John found himself becoming sick to his stomach as more Wrath approached, he stood, there was two drones and a one... smarter one. He knew they were referred to as lords but he didn't want to call them that.

The lord pointed to Rodney, "That one."

John stepped forward, "Hey guys... ugh." he fell back as they blasted him with a low setting stunner, he pretended to be out, he couldn't help Rodney at the moment and he had said he wouldn't give his secret away.

It hurt to hear the panic in Rodney's heart rate, and to hear Teyla's distress, and it got worse as she called after Rodney trying to encourage him.

He lay there trying to think of a way to take the guard down the hall out, and rescue Rodney without a weapon, his knives even his hidden one was gone and he knew Teyla likely wasn't any better off.

He had nothing, after a good ten or so minutes he groaned pretending to come to.

Teyla went back to standing over him expression concerned but also some what resigned, "John that was foolish of you, you knew that would happen, what did you hope to accomplish?"

He shrugged, it was instinct, one that had got stronger since Kolya had caught him and fed him to... John stopped that thought, he didn't want to think about him that only lead to him being confused.

Five painfully long hours later; John looked up as the dim lights flickered, what was going on? Rescue maybe? He stood up and looked to Teyla, she nodded proving she thought the same. He grinned, it was damn nice to be loved, he thought to himself.

Another fifteen minutes from the first light flicker and their guard down the hall died from a rapid controlled burst of P90 gunfire, and couple seconds later Col. Carter stood in front of him opening the door with another burst of gunfire. John ignored the pain from his ears, he could deal with his stupid advanced hearing. He smiled at her and took the P90, "Good thing you didn't take any longer or we would have had to rescue ourselves."

Carter smirked as he checked over his new gun, Teyla brought him back with her question. "Did Ronon make it back to Atlantis?"

Carter nodded as she answered, "Yes."

"Then where is he now?"

"We split up to cover more ground."

Teyla looked at him, while he mental groaned, if Ronon made it out of here he was not going to be in a good place, he met Teyla's look with one of his own.

"Secure the entrance," Carter ordered the two marines down the hall, "Lets go."

John jogged after her, hoping Ronon was still okay, or even better hadn't met his friends yet.

**Ten Minutes Later**

He ran down the hall leading the way, he could tell there was a guard down the hall and knowing the Wrath like he did he was betting Rodney was down there, he wasn't the sort of prisoner who would fight back, sabotage maybe but not fight physically. He shot the Drone down and went in the room already knowing it to be clear a second later he stated it for Teyla and Carter's befits.

Rodney stood up and started complaining, telling him Rodney was fine, if he wasn't he wouldn't complained about being danger of being shot. Then there was a worrying fizzing sound he turned, but as he did so he took note of Rodney's worried look that meant it wasn't good. It wasn't, a replicator was no longer being held back by a forcefield.

He reacted bringing his gun to bear, aware that it wouldn't do much good, he tuned out Rodney's chant of; Oh, no, no, no. Of course he might have been doing the same thing if he didn't have a gun too. As it walked towards them he, Teyla, and Carter started shooting, it took the hits and kept coming.

But then it ignored them, walking out the door, he looked to Rodney, "It's the programing."

"Okay then..." he looked to Carter, she shrugged and then headed out the door.

John smirked a little as they went past a hallway and he heard the distinct sound of a body hitting the wall. It was nice to not be the one making that sound.

He shot down the two Wrath drones that came around a corner, Carter and Teyla took the other down.

They continued looking for Ronon, and as they went along he had the feeling his hope that Ronon hadn't found out about his friends betrayal seemed to grow less and less likely.

Five hall ways later, John felt his heart sink, he was smelling blood on top of the normal Wrath musk. They turned the corner. Two of Ronon's former friends lay on the floor, both dead by knife wounds. John turned gun ready at the sound of foot steps from a dark corner, Ronon stepped in to the light; knife wound on his face, split lip, and blood on his hand and clothes. He winced, seeing the rage and betrayal in Ronon's eyes, as well as the guilt, wether it was because he brought them into a trap or because he had been forced to kill two old friends. John wasn't sure, but he did know Ronon wouldn't be the same.

John flinched in sympathy when Carter asked the worst thing possible, then it hit him they couldn't see his injuries.

"My friends are right here."

Carter looked confused, but everyone else there knew and felt for him.

John knew it was bad when Ronon said, almost shuffling, "Lets go home."

**Back in Atlantis (week sixteen and four days)**

John sighed, Heightmeyer hadn't given up trying to get him to talk about Elizabeth's death at his hands. "Dr. Heightmeyer I know you think I'm not dealing with," he swallowed and used her words. "My frustration and grief over the circumstances of her death, but I have. It may seem strange considering I shot her, but I..." what would it take for her to understand. "I dealt with it shortly after getting back, you may have been more right to worry had Col. Carter not spoken to me right after landing."

He fidgeted, it helped and made it worse that he and Elizabeth had gotten closer after his change, he knew her mind and her asking proved it, but he still missed her. "Col. Carter said some stuff that made a lot of sense, and not to offend you but it means more coming from her then you."

He saw the carefully concealed annoyance, and hurried on. "She has been in places where she was lucky enough not to have to do what I did, so it..." he struggled to find words. And gave up, he mentally swore, he thought Heightmeyer had been here long enough to have learned cornering him was going to backfire.

Kate spoke, "John I can tell you've been stressed even before what happened yesterday, so if your right and it's not guilt subconsciously bothering you, what is it?"

He closed his eyes and opened them, it was... of course she had noticed, she was good after all at her job, that was why she was here. It was too damn bad he wasn't going to tell her. "Kate I was stressed before because I had some problems dealing with a couple of marines that have since rotated out, and now lets face it you would be more surprised if I wasn't stressed dealing with the new commander, new regulations, and some new cocky guys and on top of that one of my best friends just got betrayed by his former friends who he was going to leave us for."

He looked her in the eyes, "So tell me why I wouldn't be stressed."

She smiled, if he hadn't seen her fists clenching he would have bought it. "By that analyzation your quite right, but unless your over worked and over stressed those things shouldn't be getting to you as much as I have observed. If you need time off I can get if for you, but it likely won't get better unless you tell me about so we can work on whats bothering you."

John sighed frustrated, that she wouldn't give him space. He was fine as long as he didn't have a nightmare and even then during the day, he thought of his secret maybe once a day as long as he wasn't at risk of giving himself away. "If you think I need time off fine, but it's not a problem, it's just a lot of changes at one time."

She gave him a stern look, "I want you to take two weeks off."

He frowned, "Can we make it a week and a half? Because we were supposed to go off world in twelve days."

She stared harder, but he met it and looked harder.

"Fine, but I expect to see you next week."

His hands twitched, but luckily they were in front of him, because he had stood and already turned to the door. "Okay."

He reached up to open the door but Kate wanted the last word, "John, I can tell want ever is bothering you is something you don't want to talk about, but if you don't it's going to effect your calls, and if this continues I'll have no choice but to ask for you to be given extended leave."

He swallowed hard and left, what Kate Heightmeyer didn't know was he knew that he probably needed it, but he also knew it wasn't really an option.


	12. Chapter 12 It's The Fear

**Away from Atlantis**

**Disclaimer I don't own John, or Ronon, or Rodney, or Sam, or Teyla, or anyone... yet. I don't own Doppelganger. Simple, I own nothing but how I torture the characters. I think this song suits this chapter to a tee so please listen to it. It's the Fear by Within Temptation. I only own it on a cd. This story starts up after The Game and ignores Irresponsible. So Kolya is still alive.**

**Chapter Twelve song It's the Fear by Within Temptation**

**(week seventeen and five days)**

John slowly took a deep breath, this planet was making him vaguely sick to his stomach, it was damp and heavy jungle meaning it took a lot of work to even go a half mile much less the two he was sure they had gone. Stepping in the mud that went to the top of his boot was the finally straw, he didn't care if Rodney had a bet going he was sick of being here. "Thats it Rodney, I'm calling it we're going back to the jumper Now."

"But. But!" Rodney said.

Ronon turned happy to leave, Teyla did the same even if she was better about not rubbing it in to Rodney.

Rodney's shoulders dropped and he took a step away from the tree he was standing next to, but something on the trunk of the tree lit up. Rodney turned at the light, "Oh! Oh, hello what is that?" Rodney said a smug grin crossing his face.

He took a step forward not sure what he was seeing. Rodney had already turned back to it and was running a scan, he went up and stood next to Rodney. It was... sparkly... and glowing.

"Hey looks like some kind of nature crystalline growth."

He blinked harder, something was weird about this... crystalline thing. He blinked again, it was...

"I think this might be whats causing the energy readings." Rodney went on sounding even further away then before.

"Pretty," Teyla said from somewhere behind him.

He squinted a little harder, it reflected his face in multiples back at him. He could almost hear a hum... "It kind reminds me of one of those toys..." he couldn't think of the word.

"A commodore 64?" Rodney asked.

"A triple barrel shotgun?" Ronon said from some where off to his left.

He frowned, Ronon sounded pretty sarcastic, "No one of those... a kaleidoscope."

"You realize what this means right?" Rodney asked sounding excited.

He blinked again trying to look away, "We found an alien fungus that glows."

Rodney scoffed, "How about a power source that literally grows on trees?"

He tilted his head a little, something was wrong, but he couldn't work up the interest to be alarmed. He felt like the crystal thing was pulling at him...

Rodney was talking again, but this time he couldn't make out the words.

He wanted... he didn't... he felt his heart beat start pounding, like he was doing something dangerous. He needed to... his hand slowly raised a little, almost trembling. Something was wrong... he touched it.

He flew across the clearing feeling like he just touched ten thousand volts, of course slamming into the fallen log didn't help. He felt a weak groan leave his lips instead of a scream, that made him feel a little bit better they wouldn't be able to guess he just cracked most of his ribs as well as feeling like he just got struck by lighting. A ringing sound filled his ears, so it took him a moment to hear Rodney demanding to know why he had done that, as well as hear Teyla, and Ronon's concern.

"I'm alright, just a little shock." He sat up slowly, staring at the now 'dead' crystal, something wasn't right. He had known that since Rodney forced them to land, but he felt the hair on his arms rise in goosebumps. "I don't know why I did that."

"Maybe he sacred it," Ronon said trying to stop Rodney's rant.

He blinked feeling a little, feeling light headed, he wasn't listening to Rodney. He got to his feet with a little help from Teyla, "Lets go back."

"Seriously! Why did you touch it?!" Rodney continued to go off on him.

John felt his irritation with himself and Rodney mingle together and come out in a snarl, something was wrong. "I told you I don't know. I never consciously decided to touch it, it just happened."

Teyla supported him, "Rodney lets go back, you found something, you win the bet. You can come back and study it later, for now I would feel better if we take Col. Sheppard back and get him checked."

John shot her a look from the corner of his eye, maybe he wasn't the only one with a bad feeling, she just suppressed hers better. Did this mean it was Wrath based? Or was it just the crystal things set off something in their Wrath instincts? That second theory made sense as Teyla's abilities well like his were... not so much weaker, as less defined or more controlled. He took another slow breath, maybe he hadn't cracked his ribs maybe it was just bruises because the pain was fading awfully fast for cracked ribs.

They started the ridiculously long track back to the jumper.

**Back in Atlantis**

Keller walk toward him with a smile on her face, "All your scans are clear, blood tests normal. As far as I can tell your in the picture of heath."

He sat on the edge of a bed, relived and amazed as always that Keller hadn't notice he wasn't all human any more. He smiled at her, "Thanks Doc," he looked to Teyla. "See? I'm fine."

"No more touching strange things." Keller semi jokingly said.

He winced, that was some very good advice he seemed to have trouble following, lets see... crystal thing, Ascension device, Ancient tech... He mentally sighed, if only he hadn't touched so much stuff. He nodded, "That is some very good advice." he hopped off the bed, and Teyla joined him as he left the infirmary, "I don't know about you but I am exhausted."

"It has been a long day." She agreed.

"Thanks for hanging out, I know how boing it is."

"Just wanted to be sure."

He lightly touched her on the back warmed by the concern, "Thanks, and goodnight."

"Goodnight John!" she called after him, as he went to the left while she went straight.

He waved back over his shoulder.

Three hours later he was washing his face hoping to forget the pleasure he had felt when he slammed his hand into her chest ready to feed. It didn't matter it was a dream the feelings he had felt in it... He swallowed hard, leaning on the sink still not looking in the mirror, aware his eyes were bright gold. He still felt sick from the planet and in the dream having been able to taste Teyla's fear he wasn't sure he shouldn't go to Dr. Keller for something to settle his stomach, he was lucky he hadn't thrown up the moment he woke.

He looked up in the mirror hoping he was calmer, only to still see his awful yellow eyes looking back at him. He closed them again and pushed away from the sink, he wasn't going to get to go to the gym to spar then. Working it was then.

**(Week eighteen and one day)**

John sighed and looked over at his bed, a few really nasty dreams on a variation he had been having for months and he doesn't want to sleep. Ridiculous. He forced himself into bed, it was just a dream.

John was kicking and screaming in his mind, even as he calmly munched on a food he had seen Teyla eat before, he didn't want to be here for this he wasn't... Going. To! He sat bolt up right in bed, sweat soaking his face and neck, panting like he had run five miles. What the hell was that? He rubbed a hand over his face, he didn't bother getting up, he just flopped back down knowing washing his face wouldn't make him feel better, not if he had to see his ugly eyes. Okay, same dream three nights in a row? The only answer he could come up with was, he was thinking too much. He had spent all day trying and failing not to think about it, keeping it fresh in his mind.

He threw his feet over the side of the bed, time for a shower.

The day matched his morning; Slow, painfully so, and weird. Because at breakfast Teyla didn't want to look at him and left rather quickly and then there was what Rodney and Ronon said about her dream. First he wondered if she was picking up on his dreams, like he was broad casting them or something. But then at his painfully annoy visits with Heightmeyer and she suddenly or not so suddenly asking how things were with his teammates. She stated maybe his stress, 'that she thought he had' was maybe him not being up front with them about something; maybe how he felt about Elizabeth's death or even something else. He had no clue what she was taking about, he was only a half Wrath or something, that wasn't too big a deal or anything. She had to be crazy, or something. More like crazy good.

Oh well, he could take measures not to bother Teyla, so what if it had a small cost he didn't want to bother her or for her to notice. So at dinner, without Teyla, he asked Ronon if he wanted to spar that night, Ronon agreed. Rather enthusiastically at that, he almost regretted asking.

He swung by his room and grabbed his gym bag and met Ronon at the gym, first they warmed up a little, Ronon still had a big grin on his face.

"So think your still up to par?" Ronon ask smug grin still on his face.

John grinned back, Ronon was forgetting just how much better he had gotten to be, in the two weeks since their last spar. "Oh, I'm not too worried."

As he thought he payed for that remark. Ronon attacked viciously, and he was almost scrambling to block and parry the hits Ronon was pounding him with. Then Ronon kicked out with his foot, and he let his foot slid to the side. So Ronon didn't catch his leg with the kick, but as Ronon pulled his leg back he hooked his foot around Ronon's leg and yanked. Ronon didn't fall, no he was too good for that, but as his arm flailed around to regain his balance. John brought his bokken down hard hitting Ronon in the face, knocking Ronon to the floor. He inhaled surprised, and then he smelled the distinct smell of blood.

"Crap. You okay Ronon?"

He got a groan in response, he pulled Ronon's hand away from his head, blood streamed down the side of Ronon's face. He winced, he should have controlled his strength better. "Ronon I think your going to need stitches."

"Yeah," Ronon got to his feet, tossing his bokken to the side, he grabbed a towel and held it to his face, wiping the blood streaming down his temple and neck away.

"Let's get you to the infirmary."

Ronon turned towel still to his face, "It's not that bad two weeks and it'll be like it never was there."

"Still I'll feel better if I see you there." He ignored Ronon's eye roll and followed him out of the room. Once they reached the infirmary Ronon tossed the towel in a biohazard bin and stalked on in. He walked up behind Dr. Keller, who was pulling something out of a medicine cabinet, she locked it back up and turned around only to gasp and jump, reaching up to hold her heart.

He poked his head around Ronon feeling guiltier, Ronon smirked amused by her reaction to him being behind her.

"Sorry doc. Didn't mean to scare you."

John spoke up, "We were sparring and I got a lucky shot."

Ronon shot him a glance, part annoyance, part skeptic.

"It's the middle of the night." She said, clearly still off balance.

Luckily Ronon answered that one, "Maybe for you."

Keller smiled a bit at that one, and gesture for Ronon to sit down. "Sit down, let me have a look."

He sat and she pulled gloves on, and leaned up to look closer at it, then she frowned. "This is going to need stitches." She shot him a looked, Ronon gave him a look too, more because it amused him then any real malice. But then Ronon had to add, "I guess I taught him a little too well, hun?"

John mentally squirmed, he wished it was that, but no that would make his life a little too easy. He shrugged again, he noticed Keller seemed a little uncomfortable with him there, the looks and awareness she was showing of him seemed to indicate fear... As a matter of fact, it kind made him think of the way Teyla had been looking at him recently.

"Yeah I guess so," Keller agreed still not looking at him straight.

What was up with this?

He shuffled his feet and Ronon looked up, "You can go."

He stopped thinking about what he could have done to upset Keller, and looked at Ronon, "You sure?"

"Yep, I'm fine, but I want a rematch tomorrow."

He winced, crap he was in for a beating... unless he continued upping his strength. "I was afraid of that." he looked at the two of them and left with a "Goodnight." but not before he heard Ronon comment on her nervousness around him, of course he fail to realize, it was closer to fear, then attraction.

He headed back to his room to face what he had been trying to avoid, bed.

He took another shower and brushed his teeth, and left his bathroom. He sat down in the chair and stared at his bed, it was just a dream, a bad one, but a dream. Come on John, he told himself. You've had bad dreams before, there in nothing new in you being afraid of eating your friends, why is this bothering you?

He exhaled loudly, he was a coward, he grabbed a book he had borrowed from Slomski off the table, it was a murder mystery but it would do.

**(Week eighteen and five days)**

John seriously weird out, in the last four days, he found people he worked with a lot, were unusually awkward or uncomfortable around him, sure if he spent some time with them they relaxed, but every time he walked into a room it felt like someone shot him a weird look. If he didn't know it was impossible he would have thought they knew, because those looks were damn close to the one he gave himself in the mirror some times.

But the looks were getting to him, it made him want to check his hair or peek in a mirror and make sure his eyes weren't yellow or to check his hands and make sure his nails were okay and make sure he hadn't suddenly developed a feeding slit. It didn't help he was sleeping odd hours and catching cat naps trying to avoid the dreams. In the last forty-eight hours he was pretty sure he had maybe seven hours of sleep. In the last seventy-two he had gotten eight-ish. He actually was surprised he wasn't feeling it more, he knew he needed more sleep, and he felt fatigued but he showed no other symptoms, no purple bags, grogginess, etc.

As a matter of fact he was heading to his room for an hour nap before a briefing on planets on the list for next month's exploration. But then he heard a voice shout "Sheppard!"

He turned and found himself faced with a gun, and even if that wasn't all that out of the normal the fact it was in the hand of his second in command was. "Lorne whats going on?"

"Don't talk to me you Replicator!"

He raised his hands slowly, he knew there was no way anyone could know the truth, but Replicator was a little far out. He saw the two talking down the hall notice what was happening, the girl ran to get security and the guy who as he got closer, he recognized as an off duty Guard, or grunt as Rodney called them, tried to talk to Lorne.

"Major Lorne what is going on?" The guy asked.

"He's a Replicator! I'm telling you we need an ARG."

People started poking their heads out of their rooms, and security showed, they weren't sure who to point their guns at. First Lorne was shouting about him being a Replicator and then there was the fact he had the gun and was pointing it at their boss.

Teyla and a few others walked up surrounding Lorne.

John shifted his feet a little, Lorne followed him with the gun, he froze. Just because he was pretty sure he could survive anything other then a head shot, didn't mean he wanted to test that out, not to mention it would blow his... it wasn't really cover was it? But any way he would be found out. "Major, put the gun down. We can talk this out."

"Someone, get an ARG. Now! Shoot him with it."

Kate was there, he wasn't quite sure when she'd gotten there, but she decided to try to do her part. "Major, talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"Just do it!" Lorne waved the gun, he held back a wince, too many people in the hall, if shooting him wasn't bad enough.

"Okay, what's the harm? I mean, if he's human it won't hurt him, right?"

Teyla looked over at him and spoke out of the side of her mouth, "John what is he talking about?"

Lorne jumped in before he could tell her he had no clue, "Don't talk to him. Colonel Sheppard is a Replicator."

Yeah he was confused about that too, if he'd accused him of being a wraith he would have likely just bolted out of panic but... Replicator seemed a bit random. "Look, Lorne I don't know why you think I'm a Replicator..."

"Why!? Because I saw you were talking to Oberoth."

Okay... It was really looking like Lorne was going to shoot him. Then Col. Carter walked down the stairs from behind him. "Major, how about you lower your weapon?"

"He's a Replicator!"

Sam glance at him out of the corner of her eye, looking completely taken aback, he gave a small shrug, she focused on Lorne.

But Lorne had seen the exchange, "What you don't believe me? Okay I'll shoot him, you'll see." he cocked the gun.

He took a step back, he knew he was faster then most but not faster then a bullet. "Whoa, whoa that won't be necessary. I am not fighting you, I'm not trying to run away, can't you just wait for the ARG?"

Then a bolt of red hit Lorne and the familiar sound reached him, he looked up, Ronon had stunned Lorne. He let his hands drop, he looked around, the random personal started going back to whatever they were doing but Carter, and Teyla looked a bit disturbed matching his feeling exactly.

**Two Hours Later**

He looked across the meeting room at Rodney, "Sit down Rodney."

"I'm good over here thank you."

Carter ignored him, used to his foibles. "All off world teams have been contacted and instructed not to return for the time being. Gate travel will be restricted to an as-needed basis and until further notice, all non-essential expedition members will be restricted to quarters."

Ronon made it clear even if he'd had one he didn't think it was worth thinking over, "Come on, is the really necessary? It's just a few bad dreams, right?"

Carter answered that one, "The fact is we don't really know what we're dealing with. We may have an alien entity on our hands capable of moving person to person at will."

Kate picked up where Carter left off, "And so far the only behavior we have to evaluate seems to suggest a certain malice. Now based on what's been described to me, the personification of Colonel Sheppard in everyone's dreams is behaving much like a sociopath."

He'd second that one. From the few he'd seen, he really seemed evil, and after hearing about Keller's he was glad he at least could stay awake and avoid them.

"Right now all it's done is caused some nightmares, but we don't know if that's the limits of it's capabilities."

Teyla looked at Kate face creased with worry and a touch of fear, "You're saying this is only the beginning."

"I've never profiled anything like this before. But it will likely progress, drive up the stakes and seek bigger thrills. Now even if it's limited to manipulating the host's subconscious, it still may be able to put someone in serious jeopardy."

He closed his eyes, they might as well be fighting Freddy, they didn't know how to track it, they didn't even know how to stop it. But he knew Kate was right people had died in dreams before and stayed dead. He opened his eyes and looked around the table.

"Come on! We don't have a single shred of hard evidence people! I mean, until we do this thing is just a bogeyman." Rodney went on, as if he wasn't going out of his way to avoid it.

"Exactly why you're going back to the planet where Colonel Sheppard touched the crystal."

Rodney looked surprised, "What? Why would we do that?"

"Well, just as you said to gather some hard evidence, to see if there are any more of these things. We need to find out exactly what they are and how they work and if possible how to detect if there really is something inside of Lorne right now."

Carter looked around at them trying to drive the point home how worried she was over this, she pushed back from the table. "Thank you."

**Another Two Hours Later**

They were back in the clearing where they'd found the first one, Zelenka most annoyed with Rodney, he was trying to not look at the trees to hard afraid another one would catch him if they were around, when Teyla found one. Watching Zelenka take the first one off the tree was interesting, but the care that he and Rodney took getting the live one off was even more so.

Heading back, he helped carry the dead one back to the lab before heading to his room, he may not really want to sleep but his body needed it, leaving Zelenka and Rodney to work he went to his room.

Blinking he was confused to find himself on the balcony by the control room, looking around he realized something was wrong, he felt... evil. Then Kate came out of the door, she looked at him a smile on her face. "You said you were ready to talk?"

He felt his face form a smile, only it felt like the kind of smile he'd give before making a threat or he made when talking to Kolya. "Yes we were going to talk about your overwhelming fear of heights."

Her face paled and he realized what was happening, the thing was showing him what it was doing to Kate. He immediately try to tell her, he tried to move, anything. But the entity was in control.

Slowly walking towards Heightmeyer he backed her up till she was pressed up against the guard rail. She started to cry too afraid to look over her shoulder, John tried to something, lift a hand, sneeze, instead of his face showing his real feelings, it was twisted into a cruel smile.

"What's wrong Doctor? Aren't you always trying to help others face their fear?"

John felt fury start to bubble inside his gut, he was being forced to watch the thing torture her, he could feel how excited her tears were making it, how the fine little tremors racking her body were amusing to it.

Then the creature's hand shot out and grabbed her, she tried to hit him with weak little blows that wouldn't have scared a puppy off, it seemed being so close to edge made her too afraid to fight. The creature lifted her up and forced her to stand on the railing, barely able to keep her balance she wavered in the wind.

Standing back the creature took a few minutes to just let her waver there, still crying she tried to stay upright, the worst part was she was asking for him to let her down, to help her, and she was calling it **John.**

Just as the creature started to get bored a new player walked into the dream.

Teyla walked out and promptly saw Heightmeyer, "Kate, what are you doing?"

Heightmeyer looked away from him to Teyla, her body wobbling even more as the breeze picked up. "I don't want to die."

Teyla walked closer she still hadn't seen him, "Good. Come down from there."

Heightmeyer sobbed a little more looking back at him, the creature's smirk still firmly on his lips, she wobbled more. Then she looked back to Teyla, "I can't."

Teyla frowned, confused, edging towards Heightmeyer a little more she asked; "Why not?"

She cried, big tears running down her face, "Help me! Please!"

That was it, Teyla went to rush forward and that was when the creature stepped out grabbing her arms with bruising force. Teyla looked up at him betrayal, and confusion there, she pushed a little, trying to move him. "John stop it!"

She pushed harder, he didn't budge an inch the damned smirk still there, "Stop it! I have to help her!"

Almost crying Teyla leaned into him trying with all her might to move him, "What are you doing?!"

Shoving at his shoulder her gaze went back to Heightmeyer still on the rail, "John get out of the way!"

"Teyla!"

"Teyla!"

"Kate!" Teyla answered.

Then Heightmeyer screamed. The creature let go and Teyla rushed past him but John didn't need to look to know what the creature knew, Heightmeyer had fallen and was dead.

John sat bolt upright, the creature had let him go. Running a hand over his face, her could feel the cold sweat covering him, anger surged. "Damn fucking thing!" he turned over and slammed his fist into his pillow. It felt good to punch something, so he did it again. Clenching his jaw he held back more words, he had gotten the impression the creature was showing him this to him, like he was it's focus. If that was the case...

It fit, only people he worked with a lot had been targeted, Ronon, Teyla, Keller, Heightmeyer, Slomski, Lorne... it would probably attack a few more friends before coming to him. For him. He kicked his covers off and went for a shower, he needed to calm down if he wanted to be able to leave his room, his burning gold eyes would be a dead give away.

**(Week nineteen) **

It was a little after lunch when he got the call, rushing just a little he headed for the remodeled isolation room, reaching the observation deck he walked in. Seeing Carter and Keller looking down he looked too, he found Rodney pacing, a nervous shine to his face said he was sweating. "It's in Rodney?"

He found himself unsurprised, but upset all the same, as close as he was to everyone of his team him and Rodney were probably the closest being earthlings. He found himself wondering just a little if the creature had been trying to save the best for last.

He barely listened the Carter telling him what he already knew but felt the need to respond to Keller's comment. "Yeah, well, that doesn't help McKay much, does it? If this thing kills people in their sleep."

"No we've got to find a way to get it out of him."

"_Someone want to get me some coffee? I'm already feeling a little tired here."_ Rodney complained.

"I could give him something to keep him awake for a while, but it'll only work for so long before we star putting him at risk of pulmonary failure." Dr. Keller offered.

Carter nodded, "Yeah, believe it or not I've been there before, too." She stared off a ways away, "Do what you can. We'll try to come up with something." She looked back down into the room, "Hang in there McKay!"

"Oh, thanks. Like I have much choice." his sarcastic drawl making it clear he wasn't that far from freaking out.

He closed his eyes to hide the sure to be lightening eyes, no need to draw attention. He heard Cater start to leave and he followed her out. He followed her all the way to her office, Elizabeth's old office.

Anger controlled, he kept a calm face, Rodney needed him thinking, not shooting or shouting, even though that was what he was good at. "Do you think it knows it's trapped?"

"I don't know. Why?"

He gestured, aware even as in control as he was, he was still angry, this was his fault after all. "Maybe there's a way to..." He exhaled, and inhaled sharpy. "I don't know, talk to it, work something out."

Cater looked down at the floor, a wry smirk on her face, "Being in Dr. Weir's old office made you think of that, didn't it?"

He didn't argue, "Normally I just shoot the bad guys."

Ronon and Teyla were coming, he turned to watch them enter.

"We just heard." Ronon announced.

"There must be something we can do," Teyla sounded anxious, probably because she knew how brutal the dreams were, and how Rodney handled fear.

Carter pushed herself off the desk, standing, "That's what we're just talking about."

She turned to him, "Okay lets say for a second you could somehow communicate with it. What were you planning on saying?"

He clenched his jaw bitting back the truth, he'd try to convince it it had him where it wanted him, make it come after him instead. "I don't know, I hadn't gotten that far."

"It strikes me that if it feeds on fear, or worse, likes the thrill of killing it's host, then..."

He turned back to her, his hands behind him clenched into fists. He knew what she was saying, he just was hoping it was focused on him more then killing; killing was just a way to mess with him.

"Well, it'd take the last chance it had."

"To kill McKay."

Carter closed her eyes, and let out a soft sigh. She wasn't happy he saw where she was going, he felt his nails break the skin on his hands, he knew his eyes if not yellow were burning oddly. If the thing was after him it and it really wanted to hurt him... it'd be a damn good way to do it. He felt his mind race, something anything... "What about survival? It's trapped. Would it die without a living host to transfer to?"

Cater looked back at him but didn't seem to notice anything amiss, "I was hoping not to have to find out."

"We could give it a chance to leave, to go home." Teyla said, grasping it much like he had.

"Back into the crystal?" Carter confirmed.

"Yeah, sure. Why not? We could send it back through the gate back to it's planet."

Carter seemed to be thinking, "I've heard of people being talked through waking dream before... Maybe... Maybe McKay can be hypnotized into a state where he could somehow communicate with it."

"He has successfully meditated into an altered state before." Teyla jumped on the bandwagon.

He hated to shoot it down, "Well, yeah. But only after he'd been genetically altered." He shifted wishing he could pace off a bit more of his temper.

"I'm sorry, what?" Ronon asked. "You want McKay to ask this thing to leave?"

Put it that way and it does sound really stupid, it had after all killed Kate. "We are talking about McKay. Scary things are not exactly his strength." He paced a little, he noted while his hands were sticky, the cuts seem to have healed.

"And he is up against a creature apparently capable of manipulating his subconscious."

He held back a growl, the more they talked this over the more it sounded like the creature had been saving best for last, McKay would be so easy to push over the edge. "If only one of us could be in there with him."

"In McKay's dream?" Carter clarified.

He turned back to her, and wiped the drying blood on the back of his black pants, "Well yes, you know one of us could give him moral support. Keep him calmer."

She was looking at him as if he was glowing, or something equally strange.

"Come on, all the things you've seen, and you haven't seen a way to get into someone's dreams?"

She waved a hand at him, almost a wait sort of motion, and walked off passed Ronon and Teyla, clearly walking with a purpose. He sighed, he wasn't going to enjoy this.

"Where's she going?" Ronon asked watching her leave, "What's going on? He asked looking to him for answers.

He swiped his hands one more time on his pants, "I don't know, but I think I'm going to see a side of McKay I never wanted to see.

"It does not have to be you." Teyla offered.

He held back a snort, "Yeah, well, it's my bad idea." He left the 'I touched the damn rock' out, but Teyla and Ronon knew what he meant. He walked out, ignoring Ronon's confused, "What was?" he needed to know what Carter was after.

**Six Hours Later**

John held back a sigh, he was going to regret this some how, he was sure.

He ignored Rodney's hissed, "Cold." of course they were cold, why would they be warm? He opened his eyes and watched Dr. Keller's team flutter around them in the annoyingly orange suits, the sounds they made didn't help, but it was his problem that he could hear so clearly.

"You sure about this?" Rodney asked.

He didn't look at him, "Not really."

"I'm pretty screwed up."

He let his head fall sideways, and looked at Rodney, "You're telling me." He settled back in, ridiculous. If he didn't know that by now he was blind, deaf and dumb.

"We're ready if you are." Keller's calm voice came from just over Rodney.

He heard Rodney wiggle around on the bed, settling in, before his friend's nervous voice added to the noisy room. "Thanks."

He stiffened, that was like a punch in the gut, a kick in the teeth, this was his fault and Rodney was thanking him? "I haven't done anything yet."

"For trying!" the man snapped. "And don't say I didn't warn you."

Keller announced she was drugging Rodney and he waited, fifteen then twenty minutes passed and nothing happened. "Nothing's happing here."

Keller answered him, "He's not dreaming yet."

He relaxed and started focusing on his breathing, trying to ignored the beeping of both his and Rodney's heart beats, oddly double because he could hear them along with every other heart in the room but then the monitor was echoing them too. Then Rodney start to breath a little harder, and faster and his heart sped up this was it. And with a strange vertigo sensation he found himself sitting behind Rodney and on the far end of the rowboat the thing was smirking, oddly dry for the pouring rain. "That's not me Rodney."

Rodney looked back at him looking badgered and frightened. "Don't listen to him."

"You're pathetic. You might as well jump in."

The thing was speaking, looking so pleased with it's self, he was right the thing was happy where he was. Rodney looked hurt and confused and looked back at him, "Don't be afraid, just ignore him."

Rodney looked back to the look-a-like up front and groaned, "Oh god. I have to get back. I have to get back. That's my only chance." He started rowing.

That had him looking around a little more, behind him he saw the city all lit up, but it looked to be miles away.

"You're gonna die out here."

"Shut up!" He glared furious all over again. "Rodney don't listen to him."

Rodney snapped, "That's easy for you to say! Why don't you help me row!"

In a blink he was sitting next to Rodney. This was weird but it could be worse, he started rowing while watching the look-a-like. Rodney looked around and then found him. He found himself feeling a touch amused, he'd always liked the twilight zone as a kid and this was a lot like it, random set up, who's the good guy who's the bad, and a few things that don't make sense at first. "You know, this really isn't as strange as you led me to believe."

Rodney looked at him, "Oh yeah? What about him?" he jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

He looked back an saw a dry clown staring back at him, the sad face a little erie in the gloom.

He turned back to the front to glare at the look-a-like, "I hate clowns."

They started rowing again.

The look-a-like spoke up, grim smirk on his face, "You can paddle all you want. You're not going anywhere."

Rodney lost his head,"He's right! I'm going to die out here!"

"He wants you to be afraid Rodney. Don't give him what he wants." he ignored his own simmering temper, this was Rodney's dream and it was unlikely he could hurt him. Not unless Rodney let him, and judging from his lack of gun that wasn't going to happen. "He can't really hurt you."

The harsh sound of his own voice stopped him, "That's where you're wrong."

He looked over the side of the boat and found something coming up under them, a whale. Rodney's fear. There was a sound of rushing water and he jerked awake. The first thing to greet his ears was the sound of beeping monitors and the shouts of the medical team.

He sat up and saw that Rodney had gone in to cardiac arrest. He watched, his own heart sinking, Rodney wasn't responding. He pulled his own monitors off and watched stunned numb, Zelenka stopped long enough to tell him the obvious. "He's in cardiac arrest."

Another minute of chest compression and false breathing and then the team gave up, Rodney was dead.

He sat there and stared, he barely heard Keller's apology, Rodney was gone, the thing had killed his friend. He looked up and saw Teyla's hanging head, and Carter's frown, and Ronon's fists. This was real, Rodney was dead. He got to his feet, he didn't want to sit here and keep staring at his body.

He walked out of the room and none of the medical team stopped him, he was drifting down the hall, and was surprised when Carter, Keller, Ronon and Teyla stopped him, all wearing equal angry faces.

"This is all your fault, John!" Teyla snarled.

He blinked, yes it was but... why would she say that? She had to know he knew it too.

"If you hadn't touched that stupid rock, McKay would still be alive!" Ronon growled.

He felt like he was reeling from a punch, it was true. He'd killed McKay. An ache started, he'd gotten another friend killed.

Carter shouted at him; "I thought you were going help him!"

"I tried." He had tried, the dream thing had been his idea, he'd been there, how was he suppose to know it had enough control to stop McKay's heart?

Keller shook her head, while glaring, "Some friend you are."

"Colonel you've been comprised. I'm relieving you of duty."

He stared at Carter, she was gonna just do that, this moment, not five minutes after his friend died? With no reason? Except that he'd touched the... rock. He looked around and sure enough just passed the four he saw himself, but the scowl was all the look-a-like.

"Son of a bitch." It was in him.

He charged and knocked it through the wall, they were in the gate room. It stood and he did the same, the thing smiled, "I have you to thank, this has been a lot of fun."

He snarled, "You stupid rock!" he tried to calm himself, fight with your head, that's how you win.

The thing shook it's head, "That's the best you can come up with? I can do better." Then he started to change color, his skin took on a bluer tone, his nails grew, his eyes turned yellow.

John knew he was looking at himself if he ever turned more, he already had the eyes when he lost his temper and the claws if he didn't trim his nails. He knew this thing had already half won the fight, he was afraid Rodney was dead, he was afraid of that form, and where he wasn't afraid he was angry. He took a swing and the thing dodged, using Wraith like speed, it hit him and he felt like a truck had hit him. He slid down the wall and barely saw the thing coming for him.

The thing grabbed him and stood him up before kicking him back into the wall. He bounced off the wall and punched the thing solidly in the face, it fell back but kicked him in the leg. He went down and they got up the same time, it punched at him and he ducked trying to punch it in the stomach, it caught his hand and pulled him for two quick hits, one to the chin one the side, it let him go and watched with amusement as he crawled away to stand.

He charged back and took a swing, it spun away under his arm and caught the other one as he tried to punch again, it caught him in the jaw again. He was seeing flashes, that hurt like a son-of-bitch and he still din't know how to get rid of it.

It grabbed his shoulder and the front of his shirt and threw him up the stairs, he landed hard at the top, winded and blind with pain. He could hear it coming up the stairs and he could feel it's sick amusement and the enjoyment it felt at beating him up.

But he couldn't get up, he ached, he'd failed Rodney and he had let Kate die.

Then his own voice spoke over him, "You know what the best part about killing her was?"

He didn't answer, he didn't even try.

"The fact you hate the fact you're glad she'd dead, one less person likely to ask the right questions. You watched and struggled but you didn't try your hardest."

That got him up, he stood and it just slammed a fist in his jaw knock him sideways. It then grabbed him and threw him towards the stairs to one side of the control room, he tumbled up them and groaned as they dug into his back. He pushed himself up and it kicked him in the side sending him rolling across the floor. He struggled up to his feet and it shoved him in to the wall.

He watched as the thing drew back his hand and he dodged noting it punched clear into the wall plaster and whatever the heck it was built with, it crumbled on the floor as it pulled his hand free.

He took another swing and it caught his arm, first it punched his face, then spun lifting his arm up over it's head so it could elbow him in the chest. Two more lighting fast punches and he couldn't pick out which of the six look-a-likes was the right one. He went down on his knees again.

He blinked away the stars and pushed himself up again, it kicked his leg out from under him, back on his knees he tried again.

It kicked his stomach and he half blocked the blow with his hands, stumbling back he noted the balcony was at his back. Then it jumped and kicked him, he had no hope of stopping that one, he flew into the railing and took it with him. Then he hit the ground and bounced, flipping on to his face.

He groaned and tried to remember how to breath, he heard it land gracefully behind him.

He needed to get up, he really did.

"Get up."

Funny how it had echoed his thoughts more then once.

"Get up John. Come on."

He took steading breaths, god he hurt.

"FIGHT!"

He pushed himself over on to his back, "No." he exhaled and then took a slow breath "That's what you want."

The thing felt angry now, it liked him fighting. "It's your fault Heightmeyer's dead. Your fault McKay is dead. You killed Elizabeth and were proud of it."

"I'm not dead!"

He and the thing looked over and he found Rodney walking down the stairs looking proud of himself.

The thing charged Rodney and pinned him against the wall, sharp nails at his throat. He forced himself to his feet, relief running through his veins. He hadn't failed Rodney.

"You can't win."

He smiled, the thing was upset, frightened even. He walked over, hurrying. Rodney looked victorious, "Yes we can you're vulnerable to electric shock. That's why I'm still alive. You.."

He grabbed it's shoulder and ripped it free of McKay, he flung it towards the gate.

Rodney looked at him surprised, and then both their heads whipped around at the screams, it looked strange, his dream? Mind, was warping and lighting was striking the look-a-like.

He looked back at Rodney, and then understood, they were shocking his body, not over the heart, but close enough. He realized why the gate was active, he rushed forward and wrapping his hands in the look-a-likes clothes picked him up and flung him through the gate. He was all set to sigh in relief when Rodney spoke up, "Which one are you?"

He turned, "Me."

"Good you or bad you?"

"Me, me. Are you you?"

"I think so."

He searched for what to say, Rodney had helped him, but this was awkward, this was his head... or a dream. Though he was pretty sure this was his head, and not a dream. "Thanks."

"Okay this is really weird." Rodney said looking side to side.

John noted that the dents from when he'd been smashed around were fixing themselves but that didn't seem to be what Rodney meant. "Yeah."

"I thought there'd be more hot girls."

He turned back to Rodney, what did he take him for? He looked around again, he supposed he got what Rodney meant. "Me too."

"hmm."

Then they woke up, he blinked at the black ceiling, surprise surprise, his worst fear was failing his friends or being the monster that hurt them. This wasn't news. Good news was this monster wasn't going to attack his friends again, just the rest of the galaxy.


	13. Chapter 13 By Myself

**Away From Atlantis**

**Disclaimer, Don't own John. Don't own Teyla. Don't own Rodney or Ronon, just this planet. But I don't own anything else, especially not Tabula Rasa.**

**Chapter Thirteen song By Myself by Linkin Park**

**(Week Twenty One and Two Days)**

John held back a sigh, these men already had guns, they had to know guns had minimal effects on Wraith, medicine would help them more then guns. He listened to Teyla say for the fourth time weapons were not what they were offering, medicine, new foods, and a few others things that had already been spat at.

If Elizabeth were still around he had a feeling she would have either convinced them or declared it futile. Teyla knew the botany department thought some of the plants here that were weeds might help with refining for certain cancers, but the people didn't care about medicine, they seemed content to wallow in the sheds, and the mud, with their guns.

He noted the way the men standing near the door shifted and he suddenly got the feeling they were about to be held for ransom or killed, he didn't like either option. He looked to Ronon and noted the tension in his shoulders, Ronon was in the know. He looked at Teyla, she was angry, and tense enough he was pretty sure she had picked up the vibes, but Rodney; god bless his nerd heart, had no clue.

He readied himself but had no chance, a gun pressed to his head and he froze. Teyla turned and Ronon growled, and he could see from the corner of his eye a gun was in Ronon's face. Rodney had the sense to keep his mouth shut.

He allowed himself to be roughly searched, and found himself at the end of it all shoved into a small cave Ronon, Teyla and Rodney shoved in after him. He listened to the guard leave, and started talking when he knew he was in the clear. "So who has what?"

Ronon answered first, "Three knives."

Teyla nodded, "One knife."

Rodney shot them all strange looks and then said, "Garage Door Opener."

John nodded, that was all they needed. He looked over the metal bars melded to the cave walls, Ronon got what he was think and taking his biggest knife started prying at the metal, scrapping away the crumbly rock. He drew his own knife and started on the other side, Teyla came to his side and started helping him. Ronon quickly realized he had found the weakest spot and started helping them.

After what seemed like hours but was probably only half an hour or so the metal on that side no longer touched the wall, together they pushed and it gave way with a lot of dust, coughing they walked out of the cave and skirted the village. Then they heard the shouting behind them, they kicked it up into a run, John knew with his hearing they weren't going to make it to the gate before their pursuers caught up to them.

Ronon seemed to know it too, he was dropping back, helping him cover Teyla and Rodney. Rodney said nothing but Teyla's sharp glare said she knew it too.

Five minutes later, Rodney seem to have understood to, he panted out. "If they're... gonna... catch up... we should... ambush them."

"Where?"

Rodney shrugged but another five minutes and they found themselves in a narrow bottle neck with one large over hang only five feet over head. They couldn't have asked for a more perfect place. They set the false trail and he and Ronon climbed the over hang. Two minutes after they were settled their pursers were under them and on his signal they leapt, John kicked the man under him, he hit the man's head and he fell bonelessly. He pushed himself over the edge and tackled another man, smashing him into the wall, stunning him, he punched him in the jaw and that was enough, grabbing one of the nine mils out of the man's hands. He turned and shot the second man Ronon was fighting, Ronon quickly finished the other grabbing his own gun from his hands.

A brief fierce grin crossed Ronon's face and then he heard the main group on their tails. Ronon grimaced, and started loping to catch up with Teyla and Rodney who had gone ahead to make sure they got help.

They caught up quickly enough and John had a sinking feeling they were gonna have a little show down at the gate, western style.

Jogging next to Rodney he couldn't help goad him on, "Come on Rodney getting winded, don't make me start taking you jogging with me and Ronon."

Rodney snorted. "Not... all of... us.. can be... jocks. Colonel."

He didn't really have anything to say to that, it was true, he just wished their lives depended less often on how fast they could run. A shot whizzed over their head and all of them ducked as more shots came, they broke up and he and Ronon started shooting back, Ronon right away caught one, he went down and the rest stopped charging forward. Having made them reconsider a little they continued running, John could see the start of the meadow that the gate was at the far end of. He heard the gate start dialing and ran all the harder, Ronon pushing himself right with him. Then bullets from one of the p-90s hit the dirt at their feet, he dove one way Ronon the other, he heard the double platt from Rodney and Teyla going through and he shot one, then two of the village men all the while backing towards the gate at a crouch, Then he saw Ronon make a break for it, charging up to the gate then through it.

Knowing his team was safe and he was out he dropped the nine mil and made a break for it, he was five steps away from the gate, bullets hitting the ground at his feet, and then one got him, throwing him to the ground his nose inches from the gate he saw the blue light disappear. And saw his own blood stain the ground.

He pushed himself up one handed gritting his teeth against the sharp burn in his upper chest, looking over and down he noted four inches above his heart was a bullet wound, gone clean through him. He raised his right hand and pressed down, hard. Wouldn't help his back but he was bleeding, a lot. Stopping some was all that mattered.

Feet stopped next to him and looking up he saw five of the dirty unkept lot all of whom had guns pointed at him. "Hi."

The leader, the dirtiest of the lot of course; smirked nastily. "Care to continue talking?"

John knew this was gonna hurt, not just because he was shot and it was a long ways back to the village but because he had humiliated the man. Kothen was looking for just a bit of pay back. He was right, the two standing next to the brute of man grabbed him, one roughly gripped his bad shoulder and pulled the other grabbing at the arm trying to keep pressure on the bullet hole.

He couldn't help it he hissed, and felt angry, they'd caught him and shot him, wasn't that enough? Closing his eyes, he let them tie his arms behind his back, he was noticing a rasp to his breathing, it felt like the bullet had nicked if not just gone straight though his lung. Shoving him with a great deal of enthusiasm they walked back. Finding himself a touch dizzy and in a little too much pain he found with every shove his temper growing. Opening his sure to be gold eyes. He noticed all of the guards in front of him had let their guard down, figuring he was tied, what could he do?

Testing the ropes a little he said to himself, snap them.

Grimacing he held his hurt arm as steady as possible and yanked down with his good arm, his chest screamed at him and he grunted, holding back more noise, but it was enough the men in front of him were turning. The ropes snapped and without thinking he whirled and with his good arm slammed his forearm across the man's jaw. John heard the sicking snap and the limp body went flying, he turned back to the shocked men in front of him, charging he flung the first back into a rock, and grabbed the gun of another yanking him forward where he then let go of the gun barrel and then he punched him, hearing the sound of a nine mil cocking behind him, he then charged into the woods, but not before a second shot burned it's way across his aching left arm.

He ran panting, realizing he couldn't hear anyone behind him he stopped to nurse his wound, pulling his shirt off he held it to the deeper wound, looking at it closer he realized it was closing and the bleeding had almost stopped. For that matter he couldn't feel that rasp in his lung any more.

"Hot damn."

He probably wouldn't be hurt at all by the time a jumper came for him. Of course the down side was a wraith could only take so much damage before it got hungry, would that be true of him? Or would he just stop being able to regenerate?

Looking at the graze he realized it was closing too, he flung the shirt away and headed deeper in, he needed to get to a clearing, the jumper would scan for his life signs and find him that way.

He set a light pace, he may be healing but he was light headed from blood loss.

**Half an Hour Later**

He was cursing himself, he almost hadn't heard them till it was too late, now he was on the run again, his wounds were closed, but the blood he'd lost didn't seem to have been replaced or regenerated. He panted, he still hadn't found a good clearing and with the brute squad on his tail he didn't want to find a good landing pad.

He snickered that was another movie Ronon needed to see, he'd like miracle Max. And being mostly dead.

John stopped himself, he was a little punch drunk if he said so, shaking his head he realized he'd stumbled on a shallow but wide river. He stopped and took a drink, nice icy cold, sobered him nicely. He washed the blood off and ignoring the now cold and wet pants he started slogging down stream. Two or so miles down steam he saw a good rocky bank and scrambled up it, heading back into the woods.

He ignored the little streams of water escaping his boots and running down his legs, his top half was mostly dry something about it was a nice sunny seventy-five degrees, but it was starting to get to be late afternoon, dark would came soon and he was starting to wonder if they'd catch up to him before dark. Be it the annoying villagers or his team.

He paused and realized he was hungry, like he'd eat three or four power bars if that was what he could get. Maybe he was okay and Carson was right, maybe he wouldn't even need to feed on anything other then the normal human diet.

He looked over both his hands, he looked good, no pink mark or even sudden feeding slit.

Shaking his head he realized he had spaced out a little longer then he'd realized, it was getting dark fast. Looking about he headed for something tall, not that he could see much for the trees but the slope was leading upwards to the left. He started off in a jog, he noted his legs were starting to feel a lot like jelly, add in blood loss and he was pretty sure he was back to being punch drunk. Then he heard noise behind him, he stopped and listened. He realized they weren't human sounds, they sound canine.

He realized why he hadn't heard the human hunting party was because they were getting their dogs... that or they knew something was in the woods. He started running knowing he wasn't just hearing one or two he was hearing a full pack, if worst came to worst he could climb a tree.

A mile or two into his sprint he wasn't sure, wasn't counting, his adrenaline rush started wearing off and he realized he was dead exhausted. Realizing he had slowed and the dogs or whatever were gaining on him, he looked for the best climbing tree, that was when he realized full night had fallen. He saw a promising tree, he grabbed the sides and worked his way up it, he had just reached the fifth branch about fifteen feet off the ground with he heard a savage growl at the base of his tree. Settling himself on his branch he looked down and found himself staring into the angry eyes of eight.. no nine dog things.

He used the term loosely, about the size of the average gray wolf, they were olive in fur tone but he could see bony plates mixed in the fur, not to mention their feet. Very lizard like, the front feet seemed to have toes, but were flat and not paw like at all. The back had just three toes and something like a thumb on the outside of the foot; And those snapping jaws, very crocodile like, the way the teeth lined up. Oh and that thick tail, that made him think of alligators and crocodiles. Not that he knew much about animals but he was guessing they were a way to balance them as they ran through the trees, or they were like ram horns, he just was guessing that: because the one with the biggest tail and the most scars was moving through the others like water. The violet-blue eyes looked up at him, and to his amazement they seemed to be without pupils.

It glared up at him, and he realized for all the well muscled legs, perfect for running non stop for miles, they weren't made for jumping. Meaning he was safe till they went away. Or lead someone to him, but he was leaning towards the wild animal theory, that animal was looking at him too meanly to be a pet.

He realized while he was still feeling a bit weak and he was very tired, his arm and chest weren't bothering him at all. He was good, probably only in the sense he was healed, he wasn't feeling too good trapped up a tree by some fauna. Getting the feeling he might be facing some cat jokes if he was found this way he made himself as comfortable as possible, which safe to say wasn't comfortable at all. He settled in to out wait the dog-crocs.

The next three or four hours went slowly, he realized while he felt uncomfortable cold, he wasn't fighting with hypothermia like he should be, he didn't have a fire, he didn't have food, he didn't even have a shirt, and it was thirty five degrees if that. He supposed if he was looking for the bright side he at least dry.

And he looked over the edge of his branch, at least his guard dogs had stopped growling and pacing and were just sitting at the bottom of the tree. He sat back and closed his eyes, few more hours to go, he was betting when his people realized they couldn't get to him with a jumper they'd wait for morning, night time would just make it more likely someone would get hurt.

**Half an Hour Before Dawn**

He heard noise below him and stirred from the light sleep he had been enjoying. Looking over the edge he realized the dog things were leaving the leader stopped and glared up at him but left probably heading for the den. So they were nocturnal, and... weren't on the other side of the river? So they don't like water.

Well it didn't matter he wasn't leaving the tree till it was full morning, so hopefully they wouldn't be waiting to ambush him.

Another hour went by and it was morning sun was shining and everything. Having heard nothing for the last hour he climbed down landing lightly. He figured going back towards the gate would be a safer bet, so he started off figuring at the very least he would get some water. An hour later he found himself surprised by the amount of ground he'd covered, he was moving pretty fast but he still hadn't reached the small river, ah he spoke too soon he could hear it now. Then he heard the distinct crack of a breaking stick and he immediately pressed himself to a tree, where had that come from?

Then he heard the hiss of a radio, just to make sure the bad guys hadn't figured out how to use theirs he peaked around the tree and listened harder, ignoring the sound of the river a ways away, he picked out four... no six footsteps, Lorne, Lorne's team, Teyla, Rodney and he probably couldn't hear Ronon. The moment he said that he realized he could hear a breathing only twelve feet or so away, Ronon was following his tracks from yesterday. He really hoped they hadn't found the bloody shirt.

He stepped out, Ronon whirled before relaxing. "Sheppard."

John nodded. "Glad you guys caught up."

Ronon snorted, "You're the one who didn't make it through the gate."

He shrugged. "I got caught, ran out of bullets. What can I say."

Lorne and his team with Teyla and Rodney came through the trees, Rodney stopped, looking relieved, before noticing he'd lost his shirt. "Kirk, you just had to lose the shirt."

Lorne mostly smothered a snort, and Teyla smiled. "John you're okay."

He bobbed his head. "Yep, didn't get shot just couldn't make through the gate in time."

They nodded and Lorne handed him a radio, "The jumper's waiting near the gate, Sir."

"Good, I could use a hot breakfast."

Lorne nodded, and they set off, Teyla, Ronon and Rodney circling around him, it had been quiet a few minutes when Rodney spoke up, "No really, what could make you just throw your shirt off?"

He shrugged, "I was wet from the river, it got cold, when I was forced up the tree I figured I might as well take it off rather them leave it on wet as it was."

Rodney waved his hands, "Wait hold on, forced up a tree?"

He nodded, "Some weird nocturnal dog crocodile things."

Now everyone was looking at him.

"What? That's what they looked like, they had fur but their jaws were like a crocodile's and they had similar bony plates on their backs and sides, and really thick tails. They ran off a little before dawn, oh and they didn't seem to be able to jump."

Lorne seemed amused but Teyla seemed to know what he was talking about, "You encountered Gantors?"

He shrugged. "If that's what their called yes, a whole pack, nine of them."

She looked at him. "You got very lucky, they like to eat humans, and are very fast."

He expected that, he hadn't got the feeling they wanted to play with him after all. "Yeah didn't know what was chasing me but I knew it wasn't the villagers, so I climbed a tree."

Ronon spoke up now. "Good move, a pack of nine you would have needed a gun to fight them off."

He held back a sigh, that much was obvious. He slogged back into the river. "So are we going to have to run from any annoying villagers today?"

Teyla smirked. "No they were most intimidated by the jumper."

**(Week Twenty Four)**

He sat back, Lt. Morrison had been delivering goods to a science team when he and his puddle jumper had been kidnapped by people called travelers, they had their own ships and were apparently had been after more ships, and the ATA gene. They had taken his blood and had a forceful conversation.

He had found out they had recently acquired an ancient ship.

With his help they had a way to now fly the ship, so they let him go, which is why he was now reading this report. This Larrin sounded like one beautiful bitch. But not one he'd really like to meet, she didn't sound particularly trust worthy, she had changed the 'deal' several times. But they now knew there were people out there with ships with hyperdrives, the Apollo and Daedalus would be told to keep their eyes peeled.

**(Week Twenty Four and Five Days)**

John sat back on his bed, the last three days had been trying, eight people had died from the mutated virus, he himself had to fake being sick, making it frustrating as he watched almost everyone else drift off becoming frightened panicked people, he hated not being able to help, but he couldn't pretend to be immune, not without Dr. Keller taking a closer look.

But in the end the day was saved, his secret kept, his friends survived. But he had noticed and worried about his increased appetite, between the time of his being shot and now he had noticed he was eating a little more every day, he hid it by taking snacks, eating at odd hours after shift changes so no one person commented on his appetite but he worried, his body had felt weak while most were falling ill and for the hours he was pretending not to remember he noticed his movements slowed, and his joints ached, fighting off the bug had strained even his system.

And he was left worrying if this was pushing him closer and closer to the need to feed, some times he found himself checking his hands at random times, but nothing so far, but he was just left waiting and waiting for that thing that would push him over the edge. He was pretty sure Ronon and Teyla had sensed something wrong with him, but they knew enough not to ask when it seemed personal. Not till he had gotten over it, or it effected his time with them.

But he had admitted to himself he was gorging himself on his friendship with them, savoring the funny moments, if only because he feared the time was coming where he was gonna have to come clean or have to run. He knew he'd rather run then have to look them in the eye and tell them he had lied and lied and lied.

He sat back and closed his eyes, today was not that day, but he couldn't keep lying to himself, that day would come.


	14. Chapter 14 Truth

**Away From Atlantis**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not the episode The Seer or John.**

**Chapter Fourteen song Truth by Seether**

**(Week Twenty Five and Five Days)**

John jogged up to the gate room, it was rare Teyla just called a planet out of curiosity, but then she had explained and he found himself just a curious. How many planets had a 'known' seer? This was just another reason he loved his job, getting shot and shot at aside, and kidnapped, it didn't get much better then this.

Coming to a stop next to Rodney he gave him and Ronon some stern looks, "Now Teyla says these people are a little skittish, so be nice children."

Ronon gave him a look, and Rodney scowled at him, Rodney refused to believe there was even the slightest chance the man could do what his people claimed. He wasn't happy about being dragged from his lab.

He stepped through the gate and came to a sharp stop just out the gate, he found six people waiting for them, two women, four men, the blonder of the two women stood in front so she seemed to be in-charge. They weren't armed, just excited, hearts beating fast as far as he could tell, but not because they were gonna fight.

The leader's words explained why; "Welcome. You must be the people of Atlantis."

These people weren't very surprised, they were expected.

Teyla and Ronon looked confused but Rodney's face was just great, stunned silent. No such thing as people who could see the future hun. In Rodney's face.

The woman looked over their faces and explained, "We've been expecting you for some time now. My name is Linara."

"Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard."

She smiled graciously. "We know. We know all of you."

There wasn't too much to say after that, they started back to the village, and Linara walked next to him.

"So, you're telling me Davos knew we were coming?"

She nodded and looked at her feet, "He had a vision of your arrival. Before I take you to see him, there is something you should know. He's very ill. Our healers have done all they can, but it's not enough. Some of us were hoping, well, if you do come from the City of the Ancestors..."

He got where she was going, nothing's free after all, even if this was a very low price, something they might have done anyway. "We might be able to help."

She sighed, clearly relieved he understood, "We would be forever in your debt."

Teyla smiled. "He must be very important to you."

"We own him our lives. Two years ago, he had a vision that the Wraith were coming. We had time to gather our provisions and escape to the caves in the northern mountains. Even from deep under ground, we could hear their ships searching for us. Eventually, they went away and never returned. Not a single Vedeenan was taken."

It was always good to hear of survivors. "Impressive."

She smiled and went on, "Of course, for me, it's much more then that. He's my father."

That explained why she had been the first to greet them, and why she was leading the way back the others were simply honor guards. He smelled smoke, and looking a ways up the low rolling hills he could see large tents. They didn't look like anything short of a hurricane would move them, but he suspected they were easy enough to move when the time came. As they got closer he began to smell the normal smells of a large camp, the privies, the stews, the smoke. Scented candles? They smelled pretty good, he wouldn't mind taking one or two home.

She walked to one of the biggest tents and opened the curtain like doorway. "Father? The people of Atlantis are here to see you."

Stepping into the shade he took his glasses off, the reason this was one of the biggest tent was clear; this was a meeting house, and an old man sat on a large throne like chair. But for all the importance the chair gave him he looked relaxed and easy going... if ill. The slightly yellow tones to the pale skin and the vague trembles told of pain and a rebelling body. He pushed away from the arm he'd been leaning on, and smiled, "Yes. Yes, come in. I've been expecting you."

Looking over them, he smiled. "Curiosity is a curious force is it not?"

John frowned, most coming to see Davos would have a stronger reason then curiosity, but they didn't, they'd be willing to trade, or medicine, but curiosity was why they were here. This guy was the best fake ever or he was real. At the moment he was leaning toward real.

Then his eyes lit on Rodney, "You have doubt in your heart."

Rodney looked at him, and then looked away uncomfortable with the intense stare he was getting from the old man. Another moment of silence and Rodney gave in. "Yes, anyone who had a basic understanding of body language could have said that."

The man stared him down and then offered his hand, clearly he knew what to do with doubters. Prove them wrong.

Rodney hesitated, he knew he wasn't going to like this, the harsh stare he was getting said the man had no fear of being proved a fake.

"Among my gifts, is the ability to show others what I can see."

Rodney tried to pass, waved his hand nervously, he liked his little world just the way it was. He nudged him with his shoulder, Rodney needed to be shown he didn't know everything once and a while, and beside they were right there, he wasn't gonna get hurt.

Rodney was staring at him, hoping he'd step forward.

"You're the skeptic."

Rodney got a sulky look on his face, "Fine."

He stepped up the two steps and took his hand. Rodney gasped and his head jerked sideway, John felt himself twitch, but heard no further sounds from Rodney other then his heart rate was getting faster... so was the old man's...

Rodney's chin dropped and his head moved in a little circle, then his hand dropped from Davos' and he blinked about disoriented. "oh..."

Davos sunk back in the chair, and gave a little groan, Linara stepped forward and put her hand on his shoulder, concern on her face.

"What did you see?"

Rodney blinked seemingly trying to clear his head, "I think I just had a vision."

"Of what?" Ronon asked bluntly.

"Of us, being captured by the Wraith."

Unable to stop himself he turned back to look at the weakened Davos, the man saw that?

The grim look on the tired, wasted face told him yes, that was the case.

**Six Hours Later**

He found himself playing with a pen in debriefing, Rodney's vision was convincing but they had no clue when it would happen, no time table except the next few years.

But Sam seemed fixated on the description of the planet.

"That's what I saw, yes."

Rodney noticed it too, "What?"

"While you were gone, we received a report that the people of M2R-441 were recently visited by a Wraith."

He caught on the words a Wraith, like that was important.

Carter looked over at him. "Now, from descriptions of his facial markings, it sounds a lot like the Wraith who helped you escape from the Genii last year."

That was not what he'd expected, the Wraith was hunting him down? Why? "My old buddy?"

She nodded. "Apparently he has a matter of great importance that he wants to discuss with you. We already sent an advanced team to the address that he purposed for the rendezvous. Interestingly it sounds much like the planet Dr. McKay has described."

Ronon spoke up sounding disbelieving; "So, we're believing this now?"

Teyla spoke up, "Davos did know we were coming, he just didn't know we were coming today. These vision may have several false leads before it happens."

So someone else saw what he saw, though it did seem unlikely they would be ambushed by Wraith on misty ruin covered planets without fulfilling the vision. And that Wraith being there added to that, but he had to admit he was curious, what did that Wraith think of him? He had kept him alive when he had been vulnerable. And even gave back what he took, and the way he had said most loyal worshippers and brothers had him thinking over the part he had seen in the Wraith Queen's mind, what made a human a Wraith brother? He hadn't been part Wraith then, had it been the fact he didn't care that had fed on him, if it got him out it could have been Joker...

Maybe the Wraith had been trying to tell him it would be back, back looking for him.

"Did no one else see anything?"

John sighed, Woolsey, he didn't care for the man and it had only gotten worse with his senses sharpened. That cologne he was wearing made his nose itch, and if he breathed too deeply cough. Not to mention the nasally tone the man some times took annoyed him more then ever. "No Davos fell ill and they were hoping we could help with that."

Carter nodded. "I'll send Dr. Keller."

"In the mean time, there is only one way to know for sure if he's right. Go to the rendezvous check it out." He pleased when Carter agreed with him right away, giving him a swift nod of the head.

Of course Woolsey popped his bubble.

Sam knew Woolsey was going to annoy her too but she was polite about it. "Do you have something to add Mr. Woolsey?"

"Well, as I said before I am here strictly as an observer. But since you ask, I have to wonder how wise it would be. I may share some of Dr. McKay's skepticism, but we don't need any mystical visions to to tell us that this Wraith probably can't be trusted." Mr. Woolsey turned to look straight at him, his stare was rather accusatory. "You're talking about deliberately walking into a trap."

Woolsey wasn't getting it. "Exactly."

**(Week Twenty Five and Six Days)**

The woods were eerie, he had to admit as they tromped through the woods. But Rodney was being ridiculous they had two Jumpers following them, what was there to be worried about? Really, this Wraith in all honestly was probably being honest about just wanting to talk, at least for the moment. Not that he'd say that out loud because then it would sound like he trusted him.

"It's like Blackjack. You never know exactly what's going to happen next, but a card counter can certainly increase the odds in his favor."

Since he couldn't say anything he hoped Teyla could feel them too, it felt like the dozen or so Rodney said he had seen, and he'd say they were in stealth mode, he could barely hear them, just feel them.

"And frankly this feels like hitting an eighteen."

Rodney didn't play Blackjack much did he? "It's more like doubling down on against a ten."

Then they came out of the woods right in the ruins, just like they'd planned for, they walked forward and he realized they were surrounded, where was the Wraith Lord? He spun feeling his team take positions around him, back to back. He got lucky, the Wraith lord stepped from behind the rocks in front of him, he noticed the Wraith sensed him or at least was feeling... him, there was no intrusion, no push, but there, looking at him with more then his eyes.

"You were suppose to come unarmed."

He snorted to himself, just him maybe, his team hell no. "Yeah, sorry about that."

The Wraith came to a stop not a foot and a half from him. He tried to feel afraid, nervous, he knew how easy he could be knocked back into his friends knocking them down and making them easy to stun, but he sensed no intent, the Drones were just guards, no attack orders... unless they shot first?

The wraith shifted a little looking over at Teyla, John got the feeling the wraith was now looking at her the way he had been him, but Teyla didn't react as though threaten. Something ponder later. The two jumpers took that as a sign to return to visibility. The Wraith looked up and then back at him, he could see some trepidation, a bit of nervousness but no surprise.

The Wraith had known how he left after dropping him off.

He had planned for this, after all hadn't he said they were more alike then they knew? That was even more true now.

He shrugged and then looked and smirked, ignoring his own sense of it was the Wraith's turn to make a move. He didn't care for chess much, he was good, but he didn't like it, not enough unpredictability to be real life. Well he had a feeling he had just stepped on the playing board. The real question was at the end of this game would they both get what they wanted or was it a set up?

**Four Hours Later**

He strode on down to have a chat, Ronon at his back, his distrust strong enough he swore he could almost taste it, it was a strange feeling, and it made him feel like wraith. They after all were the creepy alien vampires who went around saying you taste of defiance or fear or whatever you were feeling at the moment. He wasn't a creepy alien vampire, but he feared this was just another sign of the changes.

He noted the moment he walked in to the holding cell he could feel the disease the Wraith felt at being locked up again by humans. There was some confidence, but mostly restrained fear.

He'd almost say it was like the wraith had P.T.S.D. But except for the control, most guys with it were marked by their lack of it, they held it back as long at they could, but then they'd snap, and then the pressure was back to building again. Or at least that was what he'd seen with the men allowed to return to duty, mostly because they did have enough control to hold it in.

Unable to help himself he reached out just a little and realized the Wraith was thinking loudly about the last time he was in one of these, he had been captured for experimentation and that had been the first time he had seen an Ancient, he had been rescued by a worshipper... brother? That had been how the Ancients found out about Worshippers, and decided they had to wipe out all wraith.

He pulled away realizing he had been a little to quiet for too long, and the Wraith had showed him that on purpose. Startled he locked his mind down, he didn't need a history lesson he already thought the ancients played god way too often for everyone's own good.

"So much for trust."

He noted the double speak there, he wasn't gonna get into this with him, what happened to 'all bets are off'?

"You tired to ambush us." Ronon sounded a little too pleased that they had been ready for it.

He had failed the realize the Wraith had planned for this.

"I had no intention of causing you harm, but I could not guarantee your cooperation simply by throwing myself at your mercy."

Then what do you have planned? he wondered. You knew this was a possible move, what did you plan to counter it with? Ronon started to pace around the cell trying the distraction intimation tactics he often used, that wouldn't bother this wraith, this wraith knew who he needed convince was him, not Ronon. Ronon would have just shot him.

"My intent was to have this discussion on neutral ground." The Wraith stood and walked slowly forward keeping eye contact with him the whole three steps, slow measured, non threatening.

"Just a discussion?" That felt right, but not honest. A half truth then.

"The reason for my contacting you. I require your help." he didn't look entirely pleased by that fact, maybe he had not intended to find him again, or at least not nearly so soon.

The Wraith looked at him, John could feel his curiosity for the changes he sensed but he did not ask.

"We worked together once before."

"Doesn't mean I want to do it again."

"You will."

The sureness was back, this was his move, his trump card. "More predictions, just what I need."

"As you know, the Wraith are at war. I believe you refer to our enemy as the 'Replicators'."

He wondered how he knew that, it wasn't from him, but Rodney... no Lorne. Lorne had flown the Jumper that brought him back here. He could have done something of a mind search without Lorne knowing if he kept it passive. No commands... he probably had practice with all that time with Kolya. He knew how the human mind worked and knew how to slip in undetected. That was probably why he had seemingly stood back and watched or looked at his and Teyla's defenses.

"Sounds familiar."

"Well, we have a weapon, a virus that was designed to reset their attack directive, causing them to stand down and return to their own planet. At present, it is not working."

The tone, it was almost accusatory? Or sarcastic? "Get to the part where we care."

"It is well known among the Wraith that Dr. McKay made certain changes to the Replicator base code. Opening the door for them to alter their own programing. Well, knowingly or not, they have since repaired the weakness our virus took exploited, which means in order to get it working again. I need to know the changes Dr. McKay made."

"Now, here's the part you're not getting, we're glad they're kicking your ass."

"Only I believe because you are as of yet unaware of their new tactic."

"What are you talking about?" Ronon demanded from next to him.

He had a sinking feeling he could guess, can't feed your troops, they can't fight. As old a time.

"They realized we have a significant vulnerability. Our food supply."

He could hear everyone else in the room shift, only him and the wraith stood still. If he hadn't been in front of a large number of marines he would have sworn, he should have seen this coming. A fucking mile away. He had already personally seen how much they thought of humans.

"They have begun to annihilate human worlds."

**Twenty Minutes Later**

He and Rodney stood in Carter's office.

"You think he's telling the truth?"

"He gave us an address. Claims it was a human planet the Replicators destroyed." He was glad his eyes while lighter then normal weren't gold, he was holding on to his calm waiting for a moment where he was alone, then he suspected he was gonna smash something.

Carter looked at Rodney, "Is it in the database?"

"Mmm. M5S-768. We visited last year. It was a thriving pre-industrially society."

She nodded, Send a MALP."

"Okay."

He and Carter followed Rodney over. Rodney gave the orders, and less then ten minutes later it was rolling through the gate. Rodney hovered over the console, pressing a feel keys he said, "Receiving MALP telemetry. Here we go."

They looked at the screen, the sky as far as they could tell was stretch red and black, the buildings of what had been town square were broken and blackened, pillars toppled, it was clear to him right then and there, that was the truth of the matter. Once again he had messed up.

"No life signs." Rodney said sounding shocked.

"How do we know the Wraith didn't do this?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

John didn't answer even though he knew the answer.

"The MALP is detecting residual radiation. The energy signature is consistent with Replicator weapon's fire. He's telling the truth."

John closed his eyes, one he wasn't sure what color his eyes were and two, Rodney felt guilty even though it wasn't his call.

"How many people lived on that planet?" Teyla asked softly.

"We estimated some where between fifty thousand and seventy fire thousand."

He felt rather then heard the group around him slump, he opened his eyes, and scowled st the screen, the Wraith was right, that was one damn good trump card.

He left first, he needed a moment, a moment to punch something, a moment to swear, something, then he could talk sense into Rodney, it wasn't Rodney's fault, yes he'd offered but he gave the okay.

**That Night**

He walked in to Carter's office, "It's been confirmed, two more worlds destroyed, and that makes three."

She turned to look at him, her arms crossed she asked, "How many dead?"

He sat needing to sit still for a moment, he hid his hands behind him so she wouldn't see the faint smears of blood from where he'd cut his hands again. "Well this is just an estimate..."

She shifted, "How many?"

"One hundred and fifty thousand."

She sighed and looked down at the floor, he noted her arms tightening around herself, her fingers digging just a little into her arms. "And this is just the beginning, isn't it?"

He just nodded his head, she didn't need him to tell her what she already knew, they were gonna have to work with the Wraith.

"There is no reason to assume their going to stop."

She needed to talk it out didn't she. "No." he gave her a second then asked, "What about Woolsey?" The man clearly was frightened by the idea of the Wraith, probably would have been the first to try to lock him up if he told. He allowed himself a moment to be glad he had hidden it, but time wasn't on their side.

"He's contacted the IOA. They're taking the matter under advisement."

He held back a snort, "Oh, well, they're good at that. They'll bicker and argue, but at the end of the day they're going to leave you holding the bag, just like they did with Elizabeth."

Carter sighed, "Now I know why you didn't want the job."

He let her think that, never mind that was only one of close to fifty reasons.

"Look, John, Woolsey was right about one thing. You have had more experience with the Wraith than just about anyone, and in particular with this Wraith. You have a history."

She put it that way and he found himself split, they were right, he just wasn't sure which part of himself was right this time. The first time it had been easy, do or die, and not much change in the way he died, but this... this was his home, his friends. And he didn't know if he could trust his gut on this, his gut could be on the bad guys side. "Well, it's not like we're dating."

Carter smiled but stayed serious, waiting for his answer.

He stayed silent struggling with the words, he wanted to trust him, he had been honest thus far. But he had a feeling the Wraith may trust him but not his bosses, he was sure to have some more back up his sleeve.

She broke the stare off and looked down at her hands. "I know we can't trust him, not completely, but what I don't know is wether or not it's worth the risk to play along with him, at least for a little while."

John closed his eyes. "Carter, I want to say trust him because he saved me when any other would have finished me off, and I almost think he trusts me. But I don't think he trusts we'd work with him without some other threats."

John opened his eyes and stared into her blue eyes. "He has something more planned, I don't know what, but he knew we'd bring him back and he gave us the address, the next move he's gonna make is to make sure we have no choice but to work with him. He's trying to give us reasons not to say no, he's trying to keep it as pleasant as possible, but we've threatened him by locking him up, so it only fits with what I know of him, he'll make one soon."

Carter closed her eyes, "What are you saying?"

He sighed, "Don't get defensive when that threat rolls around, he seems to believe in an eye for an eye. We give he gives, we take he takes. I admit any other Wraith I'd say shoot it now, but him... I don't think he'd try to kill us unless we start it. He wants us to help with the virus and then he wants to leave. That simple. What happens between now and then... up in the air."

Carter opened her mouth and then was cut off by the radio, _"Colonel Carter. This is Dr. Keller, I've something you need to see."_

She sighed and then looked at him, then a little smirk playing on her lips she said, "I'll take that under advisement."

He nodded accepting that as a to be continued.

**(Week Twenty Six)**

Seeing Woolsey's ugly mug was not what he wanted to see before breakfast. Listening to the man have a panic attack was even lower on the list of things he wanted to see or hear today.

"We should stop trusting that Wraith right now!"

John was unaware Woolsey trusted it to began with and so far no official moves had been made yet. "I'm not buying it."

Woolsey whirled and started in on him, "Dr. McKay's vision came true exactly as he saw it."

"I don't really care, what he thought had happened and what happened were two different things. And the Replicators are not destroying the city."

Carter jumped in, "Maybe Rodney's right. Maybe what Davos can see is only probably futures."

"Well his track record's pretty good, so I'd have to say it's highly probable."

He bit his tongue and turned away, there was no good reason to think the Replicators could find them to destroy the city, or for all they knew this could or would happen a few years down the road. No reason to think this was important here and now.

"Which means it's going to be harder to avoid. For all we know, nine out of ten courses of action lead us to the same fate, Now unfortunately the vision I saw had no context to it. We have no way of knowing why the Replicators were attacking."

"Isn't it obvious? We're contemplating joining forces with the Wraith against them."

"We don't know that's what causes it."

"That's a pretty safe assumption. Right now we're not a target."

He couldn't stop himself, "No, no. Just every other human in the galaxy, and it's our fault. Not to mention how the hell would they find out we are working with this Wraith? Unless someone here is a spy and even then I would think they would have given themselves away."

Woolsey seemed to ignoring the last part of his argument, "Nevertheless, our priority remains the safety of this expedition, and you know as well as I do the Wraith can't be trusted."

Carter clearly was remembering what he had said last night if her face was anything to go by behind Woolsey.

"Now look here Woolsey I would agree with any other Wraith, but this one has shown he can keep a deal."

Woolsey sighed and seemed to roll his eyes, clearly treating him like he was compromised. "ahh, yes, I read the file."

John fisted his hands, he could swear Woolsey was trying to piss him off, first dismissing his arguments, second treating him like an idiot, mean while losing his own head in fear of the Replicators.

"He helped you escape a Genii prison, and as a reward you let him live." Then Woolsey looked at Carter as though she would call him off, or at least sensor him for his tone or even what he'd said. "Let's hope we don't all come to regret your decision."

Woolsey didn't even have the balls to look him in the eye as he said that. The fucking bastard, he lowered his eyes to the floor hoping to keep them from noticing his yellow eyes. The discussion was about to be interrupted as someone was coming over to tell them what the whispering had been about.

"Colonel Carter, we've got a problem."

She lead the way, he and Woolsey following. Chuck spoke to Carter as he lead them to the screen where there was a picture up. "We routinely track a number of hive ships with the long range sensors. They don't usually do anything out of the ordinary. Most the time, they're just passing through. But a few minutes ago, this one suddenly changed course."

He showed them it's flight path, and looking at Carter said, "It's headed straight for us."

He looked at Carter she looked at him, her expression said she was only a little surprised he was right.

"But they don't know we're here..." Woolsey said, that squeaking tone of fear back in his voice.

"We need to have a little talk with our little Wraith friend."

Carter nodded and held out her hand indicating for him to lead, he did so, he was annoyed, irked even, still in a bad mood over Woolsey and he still hadn't eaten. Talking about why there was a Hive ship coming only made a bad day worse. But he was inclined to think it being only one meant it was the threat not an actually bid to attack. Walking in he let his anger seep from him, he wanted to see how well he could influence this Wraith, hide his real feelings. Leading the way in he let Carter follow along behind him.

"Your ship is on the way."

The Wraith while sitting seeming relaxed, but he mentally tensed as though he knew this would the sticking part.

"Good they picked up my signal."

"What signal?"

"Ask your Satedan friend. He should be very familiar with the technology."

"Subspace tracking device."

The Wraith was staring at Carter, and he was relaxing, he had read that they understood what was going on. John stopped projecting his anger and the abrupt switch made the Wraith turn to look at him.

"I had it implanted."

"We would've detected it."

"Which is why I only activated it on once you brought me here. The ship is necessary to complete my plan. The Replicator Virus is contained within it's databanks. When it gets here we can began our work."

He looked over at Carter, she nodded and spoke, "Open this door."

The door shut door and Lt. Stevens stepped forward following her in stunner in hand, he walked in and stood beside her, Carter decided to be polite. "I'm Colonel Samantha Carter."

The Wraith nodded, but having no spoken name could not offer his, "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

John held his face still though he was amused this Wraith had taken the time to learn such pleasantries, he had been around humans for far to long if he was bothering. He could also tell Carter was surprised if a mix of pleased and suspicious.

"I understand you're proposing that we work together on a joint venture."

"That is correct."

"Last time we went down this road, things didn't exactly work out as we'd hoped."

"You were betrayed."

John was surprised when he saw a flash of a few other Wraiths, one looked a hell of a lot like this one, a family member? They still didn't know much about the family structure of Wraiths. He also realized this Wraith disapproved of such tactics, in an odd way seemed to think of it as a last resort.

"Believe me, I understand your reluctance."

That was totally honest.

"If we do this, we do it our way. Your ship remains in orbit. They make the slightest false move, and they'll be destroyed."

The Wraith was already nodding, he had planned for this, if he knew they'd been betrayed the ship was both a warning to play nice, a way to leave, and a bargaining chip. "Fair enough."

"The program with be downloaded into a non-networked computer in one of our labs. All work will be conducted on this base. You will remain under constant guard, and when you're done we keep the virus."

He felt how nervous the Wraith was becoming until Carter said 'we keep the virus' he supposed because that implied they'd let him leave. Which was the plan, they couldn't just keep him, shooting him was one thing, but just letting him starve was another.

"It won't be easy to unload it into the Replicator network. Are you sure you're up to the task?"

Carter nodded once, "We did it before, we'll do it again."

The Wraith stared at her for a moment seeming to test for her resolve, or feel for her honesty. Then he nodded, "I agree to your terms. You see I want this as much as you do."

"Then let's say this works. What happens then?"

"In my time as a prisoner among the Genii, I lost my position among the Wraith. I still have a few loyal followers, but nothing like the standing I once had."

John saw a flash of a small armada, at least twenty ships. "So you want to use this to regain some influence then."

The Wraith looked at him, a curious light in his eyes, a half smirk crossed the Wraith's lips, "In a manner of speaking Sheppard."

That was creepy, it felt like the Wraith had hummed his name across the mental network, testing his mind or something. It felt creepy. The look he was getting was even creepier. This Wraith knew more then he was there, he knew John was paying attention to the things there. So he was testing his reactions.

"Sooner or later, we're going to end up on opposite sides."

The Wraith looked back at Carter, something almost regretful there. "Yess. But not today. Do we have an agreement?"

Carter nodded, "Yes. We do."

Something wicked appeared in his eyes, John tensed but felt nothing but amusement. "I believe among your people customary to shake hands." he held out his hand.

The amusement got louder as Lt. Stevens twitched raising his weapon higher behind him and Carter, the others outside the cell doing the same thing. He got it, this was a twisted little joke, a test. Carter made no move to take his hand and the Wraith started to laugh. Waving his hand very humanly he let it drop to his side. "Just a little Wraith humor."

He couldn't keep silent, "More like a little too much time alone."

The Wraith looked a him, eyes deep and old, something sad there. "That too. Of course maybe I listened to you needle Kolya one too many times."

He took it in the spirit it was meant, he already knew what they had in common had already grown. It was just as clear that he wasn't the only one who left wondering where the line between the two of them was.

**In The Mess Hall**

He was eating breakfast, finally, things had been settled the Hive would be here in three or so hours. Maybe it was just because he had been spending so much time touching the Wraith's mind but he found himself thinking over the horrible day he had spent captured. First he'd been shocked and angry Kolya had captured him, and then when he'd found out... the next time he saw Kolya he would shoot first. Not even give him a chance to open his mouth.

And when he had realized his executioner was the one who had talked to him, he had been angry, it dare talk to him like they had something in common, but after that second feeding. He wasn't sure what made him offer; the fact he knew his team, Elizabeth everyone needed more time to find him, the fact the Wraith was clearly treated like dirt... the fact he had tasted starvation. Maybe not like the Wraith spoke of, but the empty ache, the desperation. That he understood.

The pain of the feeding had shocked him, but... the thought of everyone seeing him there and coming for him only to find his body. That was the worst. Elizabeth had heard him speak, but it had been in her hands. So if they only found his husk... she would blame herself, Ronon would probably break off and hunt Kolya down, Teyla and Rodney...

He needed to survive for them, they needed to know they hadn't failed him. It wasn't their faults. It was his, he hadn't killed Kolya he knew what a snake the man was, he had known even as he left him in that hole the man would come for him again. He just was furious the man was hurting his friends, his family. He just was waiting for that day when he found Kolya again.

He took a bite of his apple, that thing Carter said; about one day they would fight each other, one day be on the wrong sides, it made him think of the retrovirus, if Wraith didn't need to eat humans... they wouldn't need to fight. Carson in his early research had suggested the Wraith needed to feed on humans, because over time their body absorbed the DNA of what they ate. The whole you-are-what-you-eat thing, but that feeding on animals reduced them to drones.

But if they came up with a way to stabilize the virus, or tone it down, and allow Wraith to eat food like him, things would or at least could get much better in the galaxy.

A couple of trays thumped down on his table, he looked up even as the scent of Teyla and someone else wafted to him. It was Davos. "Good morning."

Teyla nodded, "Good morning John."

Davos watched him curiously again. Knowing the guy could see the future he wondered just a little if the man knew what he was. "What is it you're eating?"

He looked at his hand, "An apple, it's a kind of fruit from Earth."

Davos nodded, "Is it good?"

He shrugged, "I like it, some people might not, but I do."

Davos nodded again, and John noticed on his plate the man had an apple too, an adventurous guy. Teyla started in on a bagel, something she liked, Davos had one too, a blueberry one it looked like.

"So John what were you thinking about?"

He looked over at Teyla, "What do you mean?"

"You just looked you were thinking hard that's all."

"Oh." He glanced over at the man digging cheerfully into some eggs, "Just how I met the guy down below it all."

Teyla's face turned grave, he supposed it was because out of everyone he had taken it the best, probably because the Wraith had given him his life back and then a few years, but aside from a short but nasty week of withdrawal. He had been able to handle the fact a Wraith had fed on him, was he angry yes, did he some times have nightmares about overly touchy hands yes. But other then admit he would love to have a wraith of his own and spread Kolya's feeding out a week, Kate had given him a few weird looks and signed off.

"Are you upset by his presences?"

"Not exactly the words I use, but I suppose. I find it more weird I made enough of an impression he remembered my name, W.. his kind don't really seem to make that effort."

Davos spoke up, "If you mean the Wraith in the holding cell I know about him, no need to sidestep the matter."

Teyla gapped at him and he found himself wondering was it a vision or merely the ears that had nothing much to do but listen. "That's nice, I still find it strange."

Teyla looked back to him, her normal calm expression restored. "You have noted before Queens pay you a lot of attention. Why not any other Wraith?"

He shrugged, "Queens push, invade, try to know what I know, but this Wraith... he acts a little too human. The others made no attempt to pretend we were barely allies. He... he seemed..."

"Spit it out John."

"Upset by our distrust, something was bugging him."

Teyla frowned, she probably was remembering Ellia. He knew he was too, the Wraith was much like her, had it been his imprisonment? Nothing to do but watch humans, or was it that history he had glimpsed in that Queens mind. The time where Wraith and Humans really walked among each other fearlessly.

"What else is bothering you?"

He scowled, she had noticed. He wasn't going to blurt the truth out here, so the next best thing; "Why am I not more angry with him? He fed off of me, it was agony. So why I can't I find in myself to be angry?"

Teyla was taken aback by that, he could tell, she had centuries of hate on her side, he just had the fact most Wraith liked to play with him like a cat and a mouse, but this Wraith hadn't. He felt human. More human then Kolya. More human then a fair number of people he knew. John still remembered the bliss in his voice when he'd laid out on the grass and looked at the stars and said, 'it was worth it just to see the stars again'.

He knew if this Wraith hurt or even just threatened his friends he could shoot him, but anything less then that... he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to do it.

Teyla looked at him wordlessly, she didn't have an answer, but he had another question.

"Do you blame him for feeding off of me or for being a Wraith?"

She blinked at him even more stunned and he had feeling it was because it wasn't the first thing that burned brightest in her emotions, it was the being and he did get that too, sort of. And even stranger he didn't blame her, but the Wraith had given him everything back, he could have taken it all away. It would have been understandable, if being human wasn't good enough he came from Atlantis, the city that killed Wraith. But he didn't, he didn't even just leave him a shell, he gave him it all back.

Somehow, everyone had forgotten the Wraith, yes 'a wraith' fed off of him, but Kolya did it, master minded it, watched it. This Wraith was one he'd worked with, not the one that almost killed him. And he didn't blame anyone, that was how he thought of it too. Well maybe Ronon didn't think of it that way, Ronon would eagerly kill any Wraith.

He waited for Teyla to try and deny it but Davos spoke up first, the penetrating stare was back, for a very sick old man this guy wasn't just a tack, he was sword. "Something has become clear to me while I have watched you Colonel Sheppard something that weighted on me for some time."

He held out his hand.

John hesitated, a glimpse of a future he feared he could already guess about, or walk away.

Davos saw his decision. "Don't walk away, you need to see this, I have faith it is not what it seems, do you?"

"No."

"Then you need to see this all the more, for that day when you can tell yourself it's not that bad yet."

Teyla was looking between the two of them, confusion and concern warring on her face.

That did it, what could be so bad? He touched Davos' hand.

_**He stood on the main deck of a Wraith hive, that Wraith stood behind him asking or ordering he wasn't sure.**_

"_**Are you ready?"**_

_**His future self, grinned, "You betcha." **_

_**He saw the planet below the hive, the planet they were on now, over Atlantis. His other self's hands moved out over the controls and he saw the bottom of his own hand in the future, he had a feeding slit.**_

He yanked his hand away, he realized he had stood knocking his chair over, Teyla was watching him, something more then shock painted across her features. Davos looked up at him with heavy lided eyes.

John felt his heart break, he was gonna have to run. Run for his peace of mind and to keep his friends safe, he wasn't misreading the signs. "Why?" He almost flinched at the anguish in his own voice, any other time he would have been embarrassed, but this...

He could feel his pulse pounding through his body, the heavy feeling he had been ignoring becoming stronger, food pushed it back, but after another injury he wouldn't be able to fight it any more.

Davos blinked up at him and he realized the sour smell he knew was sickness was getting stronger. "Because you know things aren't what they always seem to be. Because you need to know. Be ready."

"I was happier without it."

Davos looked up at him pity in his eyes, "I would have been happier if I hadn't seen a lot of things. We don't get what we want."

Seeing the sway to the mans body he stepped around the table and steadied him, tapping his radio, he ignored the beat of his heart, beating out his anguish, "Infirmary we need a wheelchair."

Teyla stood, her dark eyes still on him, "John what did you see?"

He didn't answer focusing on holding the dying man up, he had pushed himself, showing him that last vision, weakening himself taking his few weeks down to a week. Two guys came running in pushing a wheelchair, he helped them put Davos in it, then watched as they took him away. Teyla touched his arm, "John what did you see?"

He shook her hand off, feeling unclean. "Nothing I'm up to talking about, it's personal."

He walked away, needing a moment to find some place to box up this fear and agony, he needed to get his head on straight enough to help Atlantis with this Wraith deal, then he'd make plans, actually he start that tonight. He'd start writing his letters, they'd find them when they cleaned his stuff out of his room when they realized he wasn't coming back.

He closed his eyes, John Sheppard, betrayer and coward. Wraith hybrid. Freak, and monster.


	15. Chapter 15 Running Out Of Days

**Away From Atlantis**

**Disclaimer I don't own John, Rodney, Teyla, Ronon, Todd or anyone other then Lt. Slomski. But more OCs will come. Remember Kolya's still around waiting to pop up.**

**Chapter Fifteen song Running Out Of Days by Three Doors Down**

**(Week Twenty Six of John's Change)**

That evening John stood next to Carter as she stood over Chuck as they watched the Wraith hive drop out of hyperspace.

"The Wraith ship just dropped out of hyperspace."

"Are they powering weapons?"

"Negative. They're sending a transmission."

"_Rodney you're on."_

A minute later Rodney spoke up, _"Sam that's it."_

Sam smiled at him seeming glad his guess was right, _"Security, have the Wraith escorted to Dr. McKay's Lab."_

After McKay got started and he checked in he went to his room and started thinking about the letters he needed to write. Teyla, Rodney, Ronon, Carter, his brother, his father... Nancy. All of them deserved letters, he'd even write one for Carson when he got out. Siting down he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, thinking hard he figured he might as well start on the letter he had been thinking about writing for some time now.

Dad

I've been thinking about writing this letter for coming on two years now, 

I just hadn't gotten around to it yet, so here it is. 

I admit I'm too cowardly to talk to you even just over the phone, not after that last fight.

I know you think being in the military ruined my life, the life you had planed for me.

But its the best thing that ever happened to me, yes it finished my marriage with Nancy and I haven't spoken to you or David in years. But I have a family here at my base, the best family anyone's ever had. I can't talk about the stuff I do or even see here, but even knowing what I do now I would do it again. And even again. I don't think I would change anything except maybe have written this letter years ago. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you more after mom died, I know you always said I was more like mom then you, and I think you're right. I know you always blamed her work at the hospital for her getting sick, I know it made you angry at times she would rather help random strangers then spend time with us. I think that was why you were so furious when you found out I had joined the Air Force.

You told me, that's a road to no where, you were more right then you knew, especially since I never could stomach following orders regarding leaving men behind. But then something happened, I was told go on this mission, you know one of those missions you never are expected back from. But I, and most my expedition made it back. I know I never told you, but I don't know if you know I'm... I was made a Lieutenant Colonel. By the time you get this letter it won't really matter, rank doesn't do you any good on your own. But I thought that was something you might respect.

I'm really writing this letter to tell you you were right, I'm only good at running away.

So this is goodbye, love, your son.

He sat back and read it over again, he knew it didn't get to the point really, but it was pretty much his thoughts, things he'd been thinking about for years. He knew if his dad read it one of two things would happen, he would crumple it up and throw it away, or he would keep it but ignore it. Maybe pull it out those dark nights his Dad never talked about, but either way, by the time his father got it, it wouldn't really effect him.

He had a bit more to say to his brother;

Dave,

Wow, not really sure what to say, you're my big brother, I looked up to you, you seemed so cool.

I only wanted you to be proud of me, but you sided with dad that day I left.

Now I look back and understand why, but it doesn't change the fact I was hurt when you never called.

It was great that day before I married Nancy, just us, drinking, hanging out. But then when you and dad found out I wasn't leaving the military despite being married to Nancy, things went back to the harsh silence. I can just see your face when you get this letter, Rodney and probably Teyla or Ronon will be with him, maybe even both, and they'll go 'your brother John Sheppard is now listed as MIA'. 

You'll just be like what did the idiot do now?

Of course knowing them, they won't take it well, probably say something rude, well Teyla might not but Rodney or Ronon will. So I'm sure you'll be offended and after they tell you as much as they can you'll have pissed them off and they'll have pissed you off, so when you finally get around to reading this letter. Which I bet you'll either do right away or wait a week it sitting on your desk or dresser, some place where you can look at it, I just want you to know it wasn't really anything personal. They'll be worried about me. And Rodney has said worst about me to my face I'm sure.

I can't tell you much, but I just want you to know I found my place in the universe. It was at their sides, the four of us could do anything. You know how you always were so mad at me when I was a kid 'cause I was always getting hurt or getting you in trouble, well I still haven't lost that talent but they always helped get me out of it. And we helped a lot of people doing it.

I know I told you that day the military was my late night shift, but now it's more then that, I wanted to stay here till I died. That just wasn't possible, when they tell you MIA what they mean is for some reason they don't know I ran away. Just like Dad always said I was doing.

He always said I was selfish, and at the moment I can't help but agree, but at the same time I'm trying to protect my friends, my other brothers, and my sister. My friends here on the base, and... I can't say more. But I hope in the next few years you get remarried, have those kids you always wanted and live a happy life.

Your brother.

He reread his letter and then realized he had been at this for three hours, he should go to bed. Folding the letter for his brother he put it under his magazines with the letter to his father. No need for anyone to see them before he left, which ever day he decided to make a run for it he'd put those and whatever other letters he had finished on his bed.

**(Week Twenty Six and Three Days)**

He was surprised when called for a meeting between him, and Carter and her, walking in she had a strange look on her face. Sitting down she said, "Davos' cancer is in remission."

He and Carter shared a confused look.

"But I thought you said he was terminal?"

She nodded, "He was, then after he was brought in after collapsing in the cafeteria, his next scans showed it had shrunk. I was shocked and after checking everything I could think of there was no logical explanation. And even though he was in a much better state he still needed surgery, so that's what I did. He is almost well enough to leave the infirmary."

"So you're saying, half his cancer vanished, and he suddenly was back to a time where he was treatable again?"

Dr. Keller nodded, her eyes wide. "It's impossible. It's a miracle, one I can't explain."

John remembered he had held the man up before he went to the infirmary but shrugged it off, he hadn't tried to heal the man and if he had he wasn't saying anything.

**(Week Twenty Six and Five Days)**

He had to admit some of the stories or reports he was getting from the security shifts on the Wraith were funny, Rodney apparently was still frightened by the Wraith never mind his hands were chained at all times. But he was politer to him then any other person on the base.

He wan't too surprised when Carter told him she was pretty sure the Wraith was holding something of the code back. He told her straight out then, as good as the reasons they had to distrust the Wraith the Wraith had ones just as strong to distrust them. She didn't argue. But she didn't say any more either.

Then he heard about the other hive ship.

He, Carter, Ronon, and McKay with Woolsey in the background confronted the Wraith; however uncomfortable with Ronon in his face, gun to his chest he felt, he stayed calm.

"I swear I know nothing of this."

"You gave our position away to another hive ship." he said it, but he just wasn't sure that was the case. Davos had given Keller a vision of a hive ship being blown up, so he was pretty sure either they had been betrayed or this other hive was an enemy hive ship and the two would fight.

"Why would I betray you now, just as we're beginning to trust each other?"

That comment could have been general, but he felt like it was focused on him, made because the Wraith was looking at him rather then looking around the room.

"We're not, really, are we? You held back some of the virus." McKay sounded miffed about that.

The caught the Wraith off guard, he was surprised he been found out so early, he had underestimated Rodney, he supposed it wasn't hard to do, given how nervous Rodney got around him.

"Just a small portion, nothing that keeps us from completing our work."

Just enough to keep us from thinking you're expendable. The sharp look he got made him realize he had projected it.

"And once that is done, I will gladly transmit the remainder."

"I say we kill him right now." Ronon growled.

"I agree." Woolsey said.

The Wraith looked over their faces, John could see he was nervous, he really had not expected to be called on it so early.

"I had no way of knowing you would not simply take the virus and then turn against me."

"I am offended you could even think that."

He got a swift glare, and low chuckle.

"The point is, you lied. How do we know you're not lying about the ship?"

He noted the Wraith didn't seem to like looking at Ronon, probably the blood lust, it probably bothered him to know it was for his death.

"Wraith are divided into many camps. There is much suspicion and mistrust. The last thing I need is for another Hive to appear before I can complete this work."

That snarl sounded genuine.

Rodney snapped his fingers, "That's it, that's why they're coming. They're tracking his ship. Think about it, a single hive off by itself, out in the middle of nowhere, orbiting a supposedly uninhabited planet. It's bound to raise a few eyebrows."

Then Rodney looked at the wraith, "I mean, if you guys.. uh, had them."

He got the feeling that, that amused the Wraith, or that Rodney in general amused him. Or maybe all of them did. Who knows?

The Wraith stared down Ronon and took some pleasure in exhaling into his face, like some smokers do, "There is only one solution, you must cloak the city."

**Two Hours Later Carter's Office**

John found himself reclining in one of Carter's chairs again, listening to Woolsey panic again, maybe panic was too strong a word but the man couldn't seem to keep a cool head in this at all.

"We cloak the city, we lose shields. We'd be completely vulnerable to attack."

"And what if he is telling the truth?" Carter asked strongly. Clearly she was with him on the thus far everything the Wraith had lied to them about had been in fear for his own preservation. "If we don't cloak the city we're giving away our position."

"He'd been playing us from the start. This is what he's wanted all along."

"And Mr. Woolsey if he wants us blown out of the water why hasn't he come up with some excuse to leave? We die, he dies, did you ever think of that? And didn't you think just a little while ago the Replicators were going to destroy the city, and now you think it's the wraith? Which one is going to do it?"

"How long until the second hive gets here?"

"Less then two hours."

Carter stood, he could tell she felt conflicted and he didn't blame her, this job was hard, he knew how often Elizabeth struggled, he'd been there almost every time. She dismissed him and Mr. Woolsey, but he wondered where she was going, so he drifted after her. He found her in the infirmary, talking to Davos.

"Hello again."

"Hello Colonel, it's nice to see you. But I am afraid I can't offer any more insight into future events. These medicines dull my mind."

"That's alright. That's not why I came. Although I did want to ask you a few questions about your visions, if you feel up to it?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever been wrong?"

"No."

"Knowing how events play out, you haven't been able to change the future, or... Or avoid it?"

Davos chuckled, John got the feeling that was something a lot of people thought about but didn't ask him about. "I'm afraid not."

"What about the culling on your planet?"

"I never saw a culling, I saw merely the Wraith Ships coming, and that is exactly what happened. Dr. McKay's vision happened exactly as he saw it, it was his interpenetration of what he saw that was incorrect."

"Pretty hard to misinterpretation what I saw."

"I make no judgements, but I do know it will come to pass."

John closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, what good or kind reason could there be for him to be on the Wraith's ship over Atlantis? How could he misinterpret a feeding slit in his hand? Maybe Carter saw a Replicator Atlantis blowing up, they had proven they could build them... of course why Replicators would be blowing other Replicators up seemed far fetched but it could happen.

"It's hard for me to except that. You're telling me that the future is predetermined, I've always believed that the future is what you make it."

"Perhaps both are true. Perhaps the future is predetermined by the character of those who shape it."

That made a lot of sense, it was just so hard to balance the idea of seeing the future when you know of other places where that could never happen.

"One thing has been clear to me from the moment I set foot in this city. The galaxy is at a crossroads. Never before have I sensed that the future of so many worlds can turn on the actions of so few."

He let Sam walk past him, before he walked in. Davos looked up at him; "John."

"Davos."

"You were listening."

"Yes."

"Then you know it will happen and it can't be changed."

He sighed, "I had a feeling of what I would see when I touch your hand, I knew it was coming, it just was unpleasant to see it."

Davos smiled, and took his hand again, "Have a little faith, I worried because things had changed so rapidly, but as it settled, this is a future I had never even dreamed of."

"What do you mean?"

Davos smiled, "Have faith, you are not the monster you think, you and I both know why I am better."

John closed his eyes. "So I was right, you have seen more. More of what I will have to do."

Davos and squeezed his hand, "Just as anyone can take life, it is far harder to give."

Dr. Keller walked over, and frowned a little, "Are you okay Col. Sheppard? You look a bit pale."

He swallowed and worked up a smile, "Just a little talk about things already decided."

She nodded, a quizzical look in her eye. He decided to leave, leave her to take care of Davos.

**An Hour and Five Minutes Later**

John walked out on the balcony, Carter was looking over the edge, thinking hard. He walked up till he stood behind her and waited for her to speak.

"The other ship will be here soon, you should be in the chair room."

"I'll go there soon, are you saying I should start shooting?"

"No I have not decided we're taking them out, I am having a hard time deciding anything at the moment."

He thought for a moment, "You know what the problem is? Too much information."

She looked up at him, "Really?"

"There is only so much information you need to make a decision and anything after that only complicates it. Like these visions are they making things better or worse?"

He supposed if he spent enough time as a hybrid and he was right and he is Wraith enough not to age he would probably join up with one at some point or another, the worrying thing was they were over Atlantis. Why would he do that? Be there?

"Well, they helped you avoid being captured by the Wraith."

"Did they? You know as well as I do we would never walk into a trap unprepared, even if McKay hadn't seen it.

"The future is predetermined by the character of those who shape it."

"What is that?"

She looked at him and then shook her head, "Nothing."

"Look technically Woolsey is correct. The safety of this expedition and the city is our first priority, and based on that there is only one decision, take out both the hives as soon as possible."

"But..."

"But, what the hell is the point of being out here if we're not going to help people? We're going to be safe and sound while the rest of the galaxy gets slaughtered?"

"So, play it safe, or take a chance with the Wraith and possible save millions of lives."

He stayed silent, she needed to decide this herself he wasn't going to be around forever. His clock was ticking, he could feel it, soon he'd have to run.

"This kind of decision used to be easy, but then I was just making it for myself. Now I'm asking a lot of people to take a chance with me."

"Everybody on this base chose to be here, and they did so because they believe in the same things you do."

"So if anything goes wrong...

"I'll be ready and waiting in the chair."

She nodded and he knew she was ready, he walked off heading for the chair room.

**Fifteen Minutes Later**

He felt Rodney and his tech team engage the cloak, he had known she could take the brave step. _"I'm in the chair Colonel."_

"_Understood."_

Five minutes after he climbed in the chair Rodney spoke over the intercom, _"Second hive just dropped out of hyperspace."_

_ "Come guys what's happening?"_

"_Stand by."_

"_They're still just talking."_

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. We got a problem."_

_ "What is it?"_

_ "What's going on?" _He hated being kept in suspense.

"_Both ships just powered weapons."_

_ "Should I fire drones?"_

"_John wait."_

He felt his fingers tense, but let the city stop half way to firing, he waited for the first alarms to blare but nothing came. The city just told him the two ships were up there.

"_Colonel Sheppard, as a ranking officer of the IOA I am assuming command of this base. I order you to lunch the drones now."_

If Woolsey thought he was going to follow that panicked order he had breathing way too many fumes.

_Belay that order!" _Carter shouted. Not that he had gone to follow.

Thirty seconds of silence and Rodney spoke up, _"Hold on, something's happening."_

Another pause,_ "The hives are firing on each other."_

"_And not pulling any punches either."_

A longer pause. _"They just destroyed each other."_

"_I guess the other Wraith didn't buy their story."_

He sighed in relief and let the city nudge the chair upright, Carter had now passed the first test of her command, her instincts would now be trusted by the expedition. Sure she had handled small tiffs, and internal things but this was her first big test, and she passed with flying colors.

**(Week Twenty Six and Six Days)**

He walked down to the brig to supervise the Wraith being taken to McKay's lab again, as normal, he liked to be there every morning since it was his advice the Wraith was there. The Wraith seemed annoyed by the general feelings of relief everyone felt at not having a hive over head. "So all it took was the destruction of my ship for you to finally trust me."

"Not true, I still don't trust you."

He watched as the belt was put on, and then followed as they took him upstairs, he had to admit to himself, he could probably break those cuffs if he wanted too, it if nothing else reassured him the Wraith was serious, he wanted to be trusted here. He wasn't out to cause harm.

Having seen the Wraith to the lab he hurried up to say good bye to Woolsey, reaching the gate room he saw Carter leaving. "Where's Woolsey?

"Oh, you just missed him."

"That hurts my feelings, I didn't even get to say goodbye yet." He fell into stride next to her.

"How's McKay doing?"

"He and the Wraith are back at it, but I guess they're having a problem getting this virus thing to work."

"I hate to think this was all for nothing."

"Well we got out alive, the city's location is still secret. That still counts for something."

"Hmm."

"Still thinking about those visions, hun?"

"Yeah I can't them out of my head. Speaking of which I heard you had one."

"That was personal, nothing to do with the city at all. But not one I'm going to share."

She looked at him slyly. "You and Teyla having sex?"

He glared, "No."

"You and Ronon."

"That's it, I'm leaving."

He turned down a corridor and she called after him, "You and Rodney?"

He gave her the one fingered salute, her laughter echoed back at him, he just was glad she had picked to tease him about that rather then trying to guess seriously. And he was glad he had distracted her from worrying about being blasted by Replicators. He was going back to his office to work on some paperwork, then he was going to slip off to his room and finish his letter to Nancy.

Nancy, bet your surprised to get a hand written letter, 

you always said I was never one for communication. So here I am communicating.

I bet a nerdy man is handing you this letter after telling you I am MIA, that's mostly true,

the reasons for it just aren't the ones you're thinking. But I'm not writing this to talk about that, I just want to say things I should have said before. I love you, not passionately, not any more. But I think of you fondly, I suppose your memories of me are a little more unhappy and thats my fault. For that I'm sorry. I just want to say, where ever you are, whatever you are doing I hope you're happier then I made you.

Goodbye, John.

He reread it, he wasn't happy with it, there was more to say, but this was all he could say, she wouldn't want to read him saying sorry for the year he missed their anniversary, she didn't want him saying he'd wished he'd given her a kid, she had never wanted one. She had wanted him home, or working at an office, top secret, fine she didn't care if he couldn't talk about work, it was his not being there that got to her. And her wistfulness, her demands, had killed his passion, he supposed he should have thought it through, she was the sort of girlfriend who wanted to know when she would see you, not I'll be home soon, meaning two weeks, not I'll be gone for a trip, she needed a timetable, something he hadn't been able to give.

He supposed that was why he had nursed a far away love for Elizabeth, they had some sparks, and sure they didn't agree on a lot of things, but they had more they could have shared. Had she not been the boss. That was why he had been so surprised when Ronon said he'd always thought him and Teyla would get together. He supposed they were very close, and she was very beautiful, but she didn't have what Nancy and Elizabeth had, even if she looked a fair amount alike to Nancy. He folded the letter, he would put it with the others, his letter to his Father, his brother, and his letter of resignation. He just had Ronon's, Rodney's. Teyla's, Lorne's, Carter's and Carson's.


End file.
